. . . but until then, please just give these people a stupid beer/wine license already:

Long Island City activists are opposing a popular restaurant’s application for a beer and wine license, fearing alcohol will only add to the troubles they say the eatery has brought to the neighborhood.

Residents said Blend LIC has been a bad neighbor, and accused its management of repeatedly lying to the community about its intentions.

Blend’s management “don’t want a restaurant that co-exists peacefully with the neighborhood,” said resident Tim Lee, a 48-year-old photographer.

“There’s a big difference between a restaurant that serves liquor and a place that’s positioning itself as a bar stop.”

Blend, which bills itself as a Latin fusion restaurant, had its initial application for a liquor license rejected by the State Liquor Authority in November 2006.

Now the restaurant’s owner, Cullen Partners, is preparing to ask Queens Community Board 2 for a beer and wine license.

“The opening of their rear garden would surround our building with noise,” said Tim Doocey, 38, another concerned neighbor.

. . .

“There’s a saturation of bars and restaurants” in Long Island City, said Community Board 2 Chairman Joe Conley. “People are saying enough is enough.”

In a 2006 letter to Cullen Partners, Conley wrote: “Please be advised we have already spoken in a loud and unambiguous voice on this issue and are unlikely to reconsider the decision” in regard to a new license.

Charles Linn, attorney for Cullen Partners, declined to comment and added that no one at Blend would be available for further comment.

The original disapproval states the “application information was misrepresented by the applicant” and that the applicant “submitted an application with misleading information.”

Doocey, a communications consultant, added, “We’re not anti-business. We’re not even anti-bar. But the next thing you know, Vernon Blvd. will become a mess like the lower East Side.”

Economy down, negativism up:

Waterfront projects — some real, some imagined — were the highlight of yesterday’s Staten Island Economic Development Corp. exhibition and conference at the Hilton Garden Inn, where there was talk about building 1,000 units of housing and an IMAX theater next to the St. George Ferry terminal and an outlet mall on the South Shore waterfront.

But what Staten Island is most likely to get by year’s end is a $35 million cement terminal next to the Bayonne Bridge in Elm Park and a small business park on Richmond Terrace in Port Richmond. Both are expected to break ground within the next few months.

It’s embarrassing that it takes a Republican from New Hampshire to state the obvious:

New York officials were outraged Tuesday when a Republican lawmaker compared a planned rail line to the Ground Zero vicinity with pointless pork-barrel projects, calling it a “train to nowhere.”

Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) had attached nearly $2 billion to a transportation bill to extend the existing AirTrain between JFK Airport and Jamaica, Queens, to lower Manhattan.

But Sen. Judd Gregg of New Hampshire, the top Republican on the Senate Budget Committee, complained on the chamber floor that New Yorkers were trying to fleece taxpayers.

“They have decided to raid the federal treasury for the purposes of building this, this train to nowhere,” Gregg told fellow senators.

An incensed Schumer insisted Ground Zero is hallowed ground, not a dead-end destination, and that the cash is the “last part of the $20 billion that President Bush promised to New York after 9/11″ to rebuild the devastated city.

“It was always intended for transportation projects around lower Manhattan,” Schumer said. “It is blasphemy to New Yorkers and all Americans to exploit the sanctity of Ground Zero to score a cheap political point.”

Gregg’s portrayed the effort as a “train to nowhere” was an allusion tohis Republican colleague Sen. Ted Stevens’s infamous “bridge to nowhere” — a $223 million project to connect a tiny Alaskan island to the mainland.

“This ‘nowhere’ of lower Manhattan is also the heart of American and world finance,” said Mayor Bloomberg’s spokesman, Stu Loeser. “The senator might not remember what happened there seven years ago and what happens there every day, but the rest of us cannot forget.”

One of Gregg’s top aides insisted the senator wasn’t trying to sting New York’s 9/11 victims, but to point to a questionable project.

A looming election, more instructional time and now it emerges why things went relatively smoothly during the last teachers’ contract negotiations:

The city shouldn’t have to pay unassigned teachers indefinitely — a side effect of the 2005 teachers’ contract that will cost taxpayers a projected $81 million by June, Mayor Bloomberg said yesterday.

Bloomberg’s message came in response to a study warning that the pool of nearly 700 teachers who’d been cut from schools — but are paid full salary and benefits to serve as substitutes - would grow indefinitely.

The report, by the nonprofit The New Teacher Project, called for putting teachers on unpaid leave after they’d spent a year in the pool known as the Absent Teacher Reserve.

“We are spending tens of millions of dollars, which we are struggling to come up with, and the taxpayer [money] would be better spent on the classroom [than] on supporting these teachers,” said Bloomberg.

“There was an outside study that said we should not pay them after a while — that the money could be better used.”

An education official denied a report there’d be a move to reopen contract negotiations to fix the problem, though “we may pursue it separately.” The official didn’t elaborate.

If by “pizzazz and energy” you mean inflexible food co-op rules and double-wide strollers, then yes, it will surely be a hit:

Producers are giving Park Slope the star treatment with a pilot by the same executives who brought “Sex and the City,” starring Sarah Jessica Parker, and “Melrose Place” to TV.

According to industry sources, Darren Star, who created those smash shows, has teamed with Sony and NBC for a proposed series about a group of affluent characters who live in the upscale Brooklyn neighborhood.

Sue Kramer, who wrote and directed the 2006 romantic comedy “Gray Matters” starring Heather Graham, Bridget Moynahan and Molly Shannon, is writing the script.

“It’s an hour-long dramady,” Kramer, who lives in Park Slope, told Page Six.

“It takes place in Park Slope and Park Slope is one of the characters in it. Park Slope has so much juice, just like Manhattan. It’s got a lot of pizzazz and energy.”

But what is perverse is that people who can afford not to spend half their income on rent are probably doing so, too:

Arnold Somrah was spending almost half of his income on the Park Slope apartment he shared with a friend. The 24-year-old finally moved back into his parents’ Ozone Park home.

“You can’t go out. Your Friday and Saturday nights are done,” said Somrah, who was paying $750 a month for his basement room. Samrah is now saving to eventually buy in Florida. “It’s too expensive here.”

Nearly 530,000 renters in the city are spending 50 percent or more of their income on housing, a 14.9 percent jump from 1999, according to data released yesterday by Rep. Anthony Weiner.

“Financial advisors say, ‘You should spend no more than a third of your income on rent’” said Weiner. “That’s sounding more and more like a pipe dream.”

The Bronx is feeling the burden the most, with 32.85 percent of its renters paying half their income on rent in 2006. Manhattan (22.32 percent) had the lowest.

In case you missed the heady days of Wall Street tycoons and an overheated real estate market:

A century later, when Dr. Mitchell Blutt, a modern-day tycoon made rich on Wall Street, wanted a mansion of his own, he found Mr. Carnegie’s neighborhood, now known as Carnegie Hill, not surprisingly plumb out of space.

To solve the problem, Dr. Blutt bought the two town houses directly east of his current home on East 90th Street, between Park and Madison Avenues, in order to combine the three Romanesque Revival, four-story town houses into one 17,000-square-foot dwelling. His plans have prompted protest from neighbors, who see an intrusion of a suburban-style “McMansion,” and from preservationists, who fear that they would destroy the character of the landmark-protected buildings.

“It’s an audacious proposal,” said Simeon Bankoff, the executive director of the Historic Districts Council, which works to preserve New York’s historic neighborhoods and buildings. “It’s the kind of thing that seems to be extraordinarily conspicuous consumption.”

Even by the extravagant standards set by the real estate forays of this century’s gilded elite, Dr. Blutt’s plan is unusual. Because the combination of brownstones is relatively rare, especially for conversion into a single-family home, it raises a host of questions not easily answered.

Dr. Blutt had proposed a three-story rear-yard addition that would extend some 15 ½ feet beyond the buildings’ original rear walls. He also wanted to add more than 20 feet to the height of the buildings by adding a fifth floor, as well as a concrete bulkhead for a new elevator shaft.

When Dr. Blutt’s architect presented the plans to the Landmarks Preservation Commission last Tuesday, the commission took no formal vote, but some members noted their concern about the proposed fifth floor and the character of the rear-yard addition. The commission told the architect to submit redrawn plans.

Lo van der Valk, president of Carnegie Hill Neighbors, said that since the historical preservation movement took hold in the late 1960s, the expansion of dwelling space usually took place by building up and out. For instance, during the 1990s, homeowners scurried to buy neighboring apartments, knocking down walls to scrape out a few hundred extra feet.

But neither Mr. van der Valk nor Mr. Bankoff could recall a single case of a person turning three attached brownstones into one single-family home.

Dr. Blutt paid $12.6 million for both of the neighboring town houses, according to public records, and real estate experts estimate the value of all three together at around $20 million, before any renovations.

If nothing else, we’ll finally get to the point where we no longer have to double check the spelling:

When a court awarded $308,000 in 2003 to a Bronx woman who slipped on a snowy sidewalk, the decision was “unconscionable.” When the city’s transit workers went on strike in 2005, their walkout was “unconscionable.” And when Mayor Bloomberg contemplated the possibility earlier this month that the State Assembly might not bring his congestion pricing plan to a vote, the mere thought of such a thing was — you guessed it — “unconscionable.”

As a way to express outrage, linguists say the word is an effective choice. It sounds more astute than “terrible.” It has more syllables than “disgraceful.” It has a certain weight that “unbelievable” and “disgraceful” lack.

And the word implies a subtle yet stinging critique of Mr. Bloomberg’s antagonists: that they lack a conscience. Because its meaning is so loaded, some linguists wondered whether Mr. Bloomberg might be using the word a little too liberally.

“It is a strong word and has a little bit of heft,” said Ben Zimmer, the editor of Visual Thesaurus, a Web site that charts synonyms and their relationships to one another. “So in terms of style, it might be better to use it less frequently.”

. . .

It became one of his favorite adjectives to describe the strike by Metropolitan Transportation Authority employees in 2005, which shut down the city’s subway system for three days during a frigid snap of weather right before Christmas. “This is a strike that is deliberately designed to take place at a time of the year when it can hurt the most people the quickest,” he said. “It is just unconscionable.”

Apparently, “unconscionable” alone was insufficient to describe the mayor’s outrage. During the strike he used the word on more than one occasion with a string of other colorful adjectives like “thuggish,” “cowardly” and “reprehensible.”

By using the word with such regularity, however, linguists said Mr. Bloomberg might be dulling its bite — a process they called amelioration.

Blame NYC & Company, blame a weaker and weaker dollar for why Sex and the City is premiering in London:

Is Carrie Bradshaw fooling around on New York?

Absofrickinlutely not! say the makers of the “Sex and the City” movie after news broke Monday that the flick will debut first across the pond.

“Sex and the City: The Movie” will show in London’s Leicester Square on May 12 — two weeks before its much-anticipated debut in New York.

“London will be much smaller,” a New Line spokesman said. “The whole cast isn’t even going.”

Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis all will make the trip, but other big names, including Mr. Big himself, Chris Noth, and Jennifer Hudson, will not.

. . .

Overseas premieres are hardly a new concept when it comes to blockbuster movies with large casts and lots of planning. “Spider-Man 3,” “Lord of the Rings” and “Wedding Crashers” all had world premieres outside the U.S.

There’s also hope the British debut will stoke overseas obsession with all things Carrie - and all things New York.

“It creates additional buzz for our U.K. customers,” said Cathy Epstein, marketing directing of New York-based On Location Tours, which runs a daily “Sex and the City” Hotspots tour.

“Anything that brings more tourists to New York is good for our restaurants,” said Chuck Hunt, executive vice president of the New York State Restaurant Association.

And even though The News has learned that Mayor Bloomberg’s cameo has been cut, a City Hall spokesman said the film, which employed more than 1,750 cast and crew over the 50 days of shooting in the city, will “draw even more tourists to our city and pump more money into our economy.”

Time was, unions showed some muscle. These days, they seem to be reduced to high school pranks:

New York was once a union town, and no one wanted to be on the wrong side of organized labor. The workingman is a lot less fearsome these days. At a panel discussion celebrating the residential redevelopment of Williamsburg last week, members of Local 79 of the Construction and General Building Laborers Union played ringtones on their cell phones and loudly coughed to drown out a land-use expert’s talk on Schaefer Landing, a condo complex developed by BFC Partners on the site of a former brewery — without using the local’s labor. “The coughing was symbolic of the fact that BFC’s words are not worth hearing,” said Local 79 official Chaz Rynkiewicz at the April 22 event. BFC chief Don Capoccia didn’t seem to be bothered, bragging the next day that the first phase of the development is completely sold out.

Yeah, you will:

A pyrotechnics display last week spelled out the name of the family that anted up $15 million for Barnard College’s new student center: Vagelos. Diana Vagelos, ‘55, and her husband, Roy, will get to pick a final name for the building, but students at the all-women’s school have already started joking online: “I’ll meet you at the Vag.” “I lost my pen in the Vag.” “There’ll be a Kant library in the Vag.”

NYU raises its tuition beyond the cost of inflation, giving new meaning to the concept of “Ivy League or equivalent”:

Already one of the most expensive schools in the country, NYU plans to boost tuition another 5.9 percent starting with the next academic year.

That translates into a $2,081 increase over this year’s tuition of $35,283, according to the financial aid department.

Students are outraged.

“It’s definitely putting a damper in my parents’ pocket,” said Emmanuella Durandisse, a 19-year-old freshman from Nyack. “I’m definitely mad. Maybe the teachers are overpaid.”

The school’s president, John Sexton, blamed the hike on the size of the college’s endowment.

“Many colleges and universities against which we compete to attract faculty and students have endowment resources per student many times larger,” he wrote in an e-mail to the faculty.

The school is not insensitive to the financial strain. It plans a 12 percent financial aid boost for the neediest students.

But that’s still not as much help as other private colleges, such as Harvard, are giving out. The Ivy League school plans to actually cut tuition for low-income students.

“We are not in a position to match these institutions, as much as we might wish that all endowments are created equal,” Sexton wrote.

The cost of NYU certainly puts it in league with Ivy-level tuition. Columbia University charges students $35,516, while Harvard charges $31,456.

Both Ivy schools also plan to hike tuition next year, Columbia by 3 to 5 percent and Harvard by 3.5 percent.

As a matter of fact, I do:

A Bronx City Councilwoman earmarked thousands of taxpayer dollars for a tenants association in her former apartment building — an association residents say doesn’t exist.

Councilwoman Maria Baez, a Democrat representing the Fordham and Kingsbridge sections, allocated $7,500 of her Fiscal Year 2008 discretionary funds to the 2401 Davidson Avenue Tenants Association, a group supposedly located in the six-story building she called home until 2005.

The building is also the registered headquarters for her campaign committee, “Friends of Maria Baez,” and home to her campaign treasurer, Nilda Velazquez, who lives in Baez’s former apartment.

But the building’s superintendent and more than a dozen residents interviewed at the 60-unit building said there is no tenants association.

“There’s no association here,” said Elias Guerra, the super.

The regular postal carrier said she couldn’t remember ever delivering a piece of mail to any tenants organization in the building.

Some residents remembered a now-disbanded organization — which last met four years ago.

“We don’t have one anymore,” said Vicky Reyes, listed as the treasurer of the defunct tenants group on an old flier. She said Baez was a member when she lived there.

Reyes said the association dissolved after the former president left several years ago, and hadn’t been active for about four years. She wasn’t aware of anyone trying to revive it.

Velazquez declined comment through family members.

Staffers at Baez’s Bronx district office told a Post reporter, “You’re not welcome here.”

Baez accused The Post of harassing her staff members, and said she only allowed constituent business to be conducted in her office.

She declined to answer specific questions about the tenants group.

“I will not allow anyone to assassinate my character as a Latina woman,” she said.

She added that the organizations she funds are “good organizations” that “provide important services for the community.”

Before the $7,500 could be paid to the tenants association, the council yanked the funding during the vetting process, council spokeswoman Maria Alvarado told the Post. She would not say when or why the funding was nixed.

Earlier: Budget Cuts Run Deep; Administration Even Asks City Council Members To Curtail Funding Of Phantom Community Groups.

. . . class acts like this:

The NYPD’s Internal Affairs Bureau is investigating a cruel prank call to the family of Sean Bell’s fiancée that originated from the Manhattan offices of a prominent police union, The Post has learned.

“Ha, ha, ha,” someone said in a 1:15 p.m. Friday phone call to the home of Nicole Bell’s father Les Paultre, according to a police source.

The number for the Sergeants Benevolent Association came up on the caller ID.

. . .

The president of the union, Edward Mullins, said, “If the accusations are true, we will deal with it.”

But you know what they say about guys who drive Lamborghinis:

New York sports teams scored miserably with their fans when it came to performance and likability, with the awful Knicks dead last in a nationwide fan-satisfaction poll, according to ESPN The Magazine.

Even the Big Apple’s pride and joy — the Super Bowl-champion Giants — placed 48th out of the 122 pro teams that comprised the Web-site survey of NBA, NFL and NHL and MLB rooters.

. . .

The survey graded fan satisfaction based on the affordability of tickets and the stadium experience, their team’s win-loss performance, and the accessibility of players.

Unfortunately, you have to go all the way to No. 40 to find the first of our nine local teams — the New Jersey Devils.

. . .

The Yankees bombed out in 65th place, well below last year’s 48th.

Part of the reason is that new manager Joe Girardi “is no Joe Torre,” according to fellow analyst Eddie Matz.

“Throw in price hikes for beer [up a dollar to $7], soda [up $1.50 to $5] and parking [up $2 to $14], and the imminent destruction of Yankee Stadium . . . and the Yanks drop by 17 spots overall, giving them their lowest ranking in [ESPN] standings history,” he blogged.

But the Yanks did beat the Mets, who scraped the bottom at No. 93, behind even the hated Boston Red Sox, which claimed 89th place.

. . . others push around a three-foot-tall crucifix in a granny cart:

She was depressed and needed Jesus, so she took Him home with her.

That was Dawn Piccolo’s explanation for her theft of a 3-foot wooden crucifix from St. Adalbert’s R.C. Church in Elm Park.

Ms. Piccolo, 37, of Elm Park was shipped off to jail yesterday following her guilty plea earlier this month to a count of fourth-degree grand larceny stemming from the theft of the crucifix.

Dressed in a black sweater and gray cargo pants, her blond hair piled atop her head, Ms. Piccolo did not speak when Justice Leonard P. Rienzi sentenced her to one year behind bars under the plea deal.

She’d been more forthcoming — and apologetic — following her arrest at her Morningstar Road home in March.

In a statement penned for police, Ms. Piccolo admitted suffering from anxiety and depression.

She denied “ever” using any illegal drugs, but said the medications prescribed to combat her depression “makes me turn into something I don’t want to be.”

“I am in need of help for my faults,” Ms. Piccolo wrote.

“I was in need of Christ. . . . Christ is the only thing that keeps me sane.”

The Rev. Eugene Carella of St. Adalbert’s noticed Ms. Piccolo when she showed up at the church on the morning of March 11. Discovering the theft of the crucifix, a staple at St. Adalbert’s for more than 40 years, he gave a description of the woman to police.

Cops canvassed the neighborhood, and three days later, a city Sanitation worker phoned Father Carella with word that a woman had been spotted with the crucifix in a pushcart.

The worker and Father Carella identified Ms. Piccolo through photos police took of the woman.

A detective returned the crucifix to the church in time for its Good Friday veneration, although the left arm was missing. It hasn’t been recovered.

As for Ms. Piccolo, “I hope one day to give Him my all,” she told cops.

And the church hopes that one day Ms. Piccolo will give all of Him back.

$354 million, now safely on its way to Los Angeles, where I hear they actually have a pretty bad traffic problem:

Los Angeles snagged a $213 million federal grant to help speed traffic along its clogged highways — winning a big chunk of the $354 million New York had to give up when the Legislature killed congestion pricing.

“It’s safe to say they’re loving New York in L.A. today,” U.S. Department of Transportation spokesman Brian Turmail said Friday after announcing the award.

New York had been guaranteed the pot of cash to set up a congestion pricing system but lost it when Albany killed the plan behind closed doors without voting this month.

Turmail said DOT has not yet decided what cities will split the remaining $141 million.

Chicago is one of them, Mayor Bloomberg said.

“Like Los Angeles, Chicago has also benefitted from New York’s loss and last week Mayor [Richard] Daley thanked Mayor Bloomberg,” said spokesman John Gallagher.

Oh well . . . at least we’ll always have those 18,000 trees . . .

Except for the inconvenient facts that prostitution is often about sex slavery and it is very rarely a victimless crime, Eliot Spitzer might still be governor and Sean Bell might still be alive — since, after all, the reason undercover cops were there was for a prostitution sting — and we wouldn’t have to endure a big, lousy, tragic conclusion to the case:

A Queens judge on Friday acquitted three detectives charged in the shooting of Sean Bell, who died on his wedding day in a hail of 50 police bullets. He said that prosecutors had failed to prove their case and that wounded friends of the slain man had given testimony that he did not believe.

. . .

The detectives, all but obscured behind a human wall of courthouse officers, finally seemed to exhale deeply, even crumple, with relief. Detective Oliver — who reloaded his gun to fire a total of 31 shots and helped catapult the shooting from tragic mistake to a symbol, for many, of police abuse of force and poor training — closed his eyes and cried.

Except for a few scuffles outside the Queens Criminal Court building and shouted displays of disbelief and outrage, the day passed peacefully amid calls for calm delivered by the mayor, the police commissioner and other officials.

One more example this year makes it a trend, and we can pitch it to the editors of the Magazine . . .

“Obviously there will be some people who are disappointed with the verdict.”

So that’s how it works:

A class-action lawsuit against top real-estate broker Brown Harris Stevens alleges the firm discriminated against families that were trying to rent apartments in Brooklyn — because they had kids.

The suit, filed Thursday, is the first class action against a real-estate agency for “assisting and enabling landlords to carry out the discrimination,” said Diane Houk of the Fair Housing Justice Center.

One agent allegedly told Jamie Katz and his wife, Lisa Nocera, “I’ll show you everything available that I think is suitable for kids.”

They first went to Brown Harris Stevens two years ago when they saw a listing for a converted carriage house in Brooklyn Heights.

Nocera was nine months pregnant, and they wanted to leave their tiny Manhattan apartment. But the broker didn’t show it to them, saying “the owners would not rent to people with children because there was an outdoor space,” according to the lawsuit.

The couple remained in Manhattan, but when they looked again last June, with their baby, Bruno, they liked a $2,300-a-month apartment in Park Slope. After filling out an application, a Brown Harris Stevens broker allegedly said the owners wouldn’t rent to anyone with a child because of lead paint.

“I felt bad,” Katz said. “I felt they were preying on our fears as new parents about lead paint.”

Crazed ex? Pissed off creditor? No one knows:

Residents of a block in Boerum Hill have known for months that rogue urinators were defiling their street, but they never had the proof to convince local police of a scatological conspiracy on Dean Street — until now.

A two-liter container of human urine, complete with syringes bobbing in the waste, was found Sunday morning between Bond and Nevins streets — and the repulsive find was finally enough to prove to cops that residents were being tormented by micturating hellions and not merely dogs with overactive bladders.

“It’s absolutely gross,” said Joseph Samulski, who had the misfortune of finding the container on his front steps. “I don’t even know how you could accumulate that much urine.”

But on the brighter side, “It was the first time we were able to establish what we’ve been saying on our block — that someone has been pouring urine on cars.”

. . .

The pissing match broke out on the day of the block party last September, when several people emerged from their homes near the Nevins Street end of the block to encounter an overpowering stench of liquid waste on the street and in one man’s pickup truck.

Since then, that pickup truck has been showered at least two other times.

“Thankfully, whenever it happened, my truck needed a good washing anyway,” said good sport Kevin McGowan.

Let’s see — drag racing at a high rate of speed, being ejected from the back seat . . . so what were those concrete bollards doing there anyway? You tell me:

A drag race on a Charleston service road led to the crash that killed an Annadale teenager, prosecutors contend.

But the father of the victim, Michelle Arout, is seeking to spread the blame to the city and a number of its agencies.

John Arout maintains that two concrete-filled steel stanchions, or bollards, guarding a fire hydrant at the crash site negated the hydrant’s built-in “breakaway” design feature and figured in his daughter’s death.

The 2003 Honda in which Miss Arout was riding collided at a high rate of speed with a Ford Mustang, then slammed into one or both bollards and split in two.

The 17-year-old was ejected from the back seat and suffered fatal injuries in the July 23 crash on Veterans Road West near Bricktown Centre.

Arout, who is administrator of his daughter’s estate, seeks unspecified monetary damages in the civil action, recently filed in state Supreme Court, St. George.

Named as defendants are the city and its Environmental Protection, Transportation and Fire departments. . . .

If you found yourself without power for, I don’t know, like nine days during the summer, know that you will be compensated at a rate significantly below that of jury duty:

Customers in western Queens can expect to receive about $100 each from Consolidated Edison as compensation for having to sweat through nine days without power in July 2006, according to officials who have been briefed on the settlement.

The approval of the settlement, which the utility proposed several weeks ago and which will total $17 million, was to be announced at a news conference on Thursday.

Customers will receive a credit on their monthly bill, which will also include a brief apology from the company.

As Rev. Sharpton gets geared up for a verdict in the Sean Bell case it occurs to me that it might not be the best time to remind people about the WWII-themed Operation Torch program, what with its submachine guns and all:

NYPD cops armed with rifles, submachine guns, body armor and bomb-sniffing dogs will start patrolling the city’s subways on Thursday — a first for mass transit in the United States.

Teams of six officers and a dog will patrol subway platforms and trains in 12-hour shifts.

The TORCH teams are being paid for by $151 million from the feds announced in February.

Similarly equipped NYPD units, known as Hercules teams, have patrolled Wall Street and other aboveground icons as part of the NYPD response to the World Trade Center attacks.

“The TORCH teams are Hercules teams with a MetroCard,” a police source said.

But really, when you throw around figures like $545 million for trees and $410 million for biometric punch clocks, $3 billion doesn’t seem like such a bad deal:

In a city of big projects, it ranks among the biggest. New York City’s Department of Environmental Protection is building one of the largest water filtration plants in the world in a 10-story-deep hole it blasted out of bedrock in the Bronx. When completed in 2012, the plant, capable of purifying 300 million gallons of water a day, will be buried there.

But the plant, which will filter water from the Croton watershed in Westchester County, is no Bronx treasure chest. Even as construction moves forward, questions about soaring costs and delays continue to plague the project.

The cost is now estimated at nearly $3 billion, a huge jump from the $660 million city officials estimated when they announced an audacious plan in 1998 to build the plant below the surface of Van Cortlandt Park. They vowed that the park would be made as good as new, even if that meant replacing whatever was lost during construction. They now plan to rebuild a driving range on top of the buried plant.

Some officials and others fear the final tab could climb even higher, and in the process push up water rates. On April 1, the city comptroller, William C. Thompson Jr., announced that he was starting an independent audit to determine whether city officials understated the original price, to get the plant built in the Bronx rather than Westchester. Besides scrutinizing the complicated accounting, Mr. Thompson will have to sort through accusations by some residents and officials of deliberate distortions of costs, and intimations that the project has been tainted by mob influence, though nothing has been proved.

. . .

The city was forced to build the plant because water from the Croton watershed did not meet federal standards for safety and purity. Although the Croton system can supply nearly 30 percent of the city’s 1.1 billion gallons a day of drinking water, generally it supplies just 10 percent, mostly in the Bronx and northern Manhattan. The rest of the city’s water comes from the Catskill Mountains and the Delaware River, and is so clean that the city last year won a 10-year exemption from federal regulations requiring that all surface drinking water be filtered.

Opponents of the Bronx plant have also expressed concern about the federal indictment in February of a key manager for the Schiavone Construction Company, which was the principal contractor responsible for digging the pit and putting in the water tunnels. The company’s offices were raided by federal agents, who seized files, and the manager, Anthony Delvescovo, was charged with having committed extortion beginning in February 2005 — around the time that work was beginning on the Croton project.

Location Scout: Van Cortlandt Park.

Club Kalua goes on, despite the odds:

The club where Sean Bell spent the final moments of his life celebrating at his bachelor party still occupies a narrow plot at 143-08 94th Avenue in Jamaica, Queens. Half-naked women still twirl on poles, trying to interest dollar-tossing patrons. The A.T.M. with the high surcharge still occupies a corner in the back.

But there is something very different these days about this place, the Club Kalua: The alcohol is gone.

No more watered-down $20 glasses of Champagne for strippers to push on patrons. No more $16 Long Island iced teas to keep the bartenders busy. No more drink menu on the wall.

The state stripped the Club Kalua of its liquor license more than two weeks ago, reducing the club, essentially, to a juice bar with strippers.

But what surely would have been a death knell for many other bars is, for this gritty dive, merely the latest chapter in its remarkable, and in many ways inexplicable, longevity. It remains open 12 hours a day, seven days a week. Nothing, it seems, can bring down the Club Kalua.

. . .

At midnight Wednesday, there were nine men and four strippers around Kalua’s main bar. The atmosphere was turgid.

One dancer approached the bar, sighed and said, “I need some liquor.”

Not too long ago, a stripper could make more than $500 a night working at the Club Kalua. Now, one is lucky to walk away with more than $100, a dancer said.

Regulars like Andre, 36, a music producer who goes by the nickname Boogie, are among the dancers’ biggest supporters. Andre, who refused to give his last name, said that he felt it was his civic duty to be there, despite the absence of alcohol.

“It’s about supporting the community,” he said, sucking on an unlit Black and Mild cigar and twirling a small plastic cup of water with his hands. “These girls, they’re part of the community. Some of them got children. It’s about giving back.”

The elusive Ninja Burglar turns out to be up to three Albanians:

The NYPD has quietly closed the book on Staten Island’s so-called Ninja Burglar case, after authorities started deportation proceedings against at least one Albanian man they believe to be connected to the string of break-ins, police sources told the Advance.

About a week and a half ago, the police department dismantled the investigative team hunting for the serial burglar, those sources said.

“The investigation is dormant, with no new leads,” Paul Browne, the NYPD’s deputy commissioner for public information, confirmed to the Advance yesterday afternoon. “Investigators believe that an individual suspected [but with insufficient evidence to make an arrest] of being the burglar is among three Albanian nationals currently facing deportation because of their illegal status in the United States.”

Browne did not name the three Albanian nationals.

The Advance broke the story on its Web site, silive.com, yesterday afternoon.

Police had linked the “Ninja Burglar” — who received the nickname from the media after a Dongan Hills man reported fighting off a nunchuk-wielding intruder in a ninja costume last September — to 19 separate break-ins, mainly in the Todt Hill and Grymes Hill neighborhoods, between May 2007 and January of this year.

Multiple law-enforcement sources close to the investigation told the Advance that investigators were first clued into a possible Albanian connection to the burglary pattern last fall, when they learned that several Albanian men from the same area in neighboring Macedonia had formed a loosely knit crew to commit burglaries.

In some instances, they would wait for the other members of their Albanian community to go out to cultural events, then strike their vacant homes, the sources said.

. . .

. . . [S]ources said, two other members of the group were believed responsible for several of the break-ins in the Ninja Burglar case, but were never charged.

With their forensic and investigative leads exhausted, police contacted federal immigration officials, who started deportation proceedings against several members of the group last month, according to police sources.

So at this rate, it will only take $545 million more to reach the lofty goal of 1 million new trees:

David Rockefeller and Mayor Michael Bloomberg — two of the city’s biggest philanthropists — spent yesterday afternoon in front of East Harlem’s Thomas Jefferson public housing complex, where they planted a rosebud tree. They hope it is just one of many.

Rockefeller gave $5 million to help fund the mayor’s initiative to plant 1 million trees as part of PlaNYC, his sustainability agenda for the city. Bloomberg matched Rockefeller’s gift with his own $5 million.

“We’re all in this together,” Bloomberg said. “We shouldn’t wait for others to do it.” Not only do the trees provide shade and clean the air, he said, they “also improve property values.”

The $10 million announced yesterday will cover the cost of 18,000 new trees, “nearly three-quarters of all the trees in Central Park,” Bloomberg said.

. . .

He expects to have 250,000 of the 1 million trees in the ground before he leaves office. But then what? The initiative is funded by charitable donations and has no legal mandate.

“They should plant jobs,” added Olga Bernabi, who works at the Jefferson Houses library. “I know a lot of people getting pink slips.”

Central Park has 26,000 trees in 840 acres (31 trees an acre). New York City (at 322 square miles) has 206,080 total acres — 1 million new trees means adding 4.8 trees to each acre of land in the city. A city block is 2.5 acres. That’s 12 new trees on each city block . . . in addition to the 592,130 street trees, which have stocked city streets to 73% capacity, with room for 220,000 more trees. So then there are 780,000 left to be accounted for . . . um, has anyone figured out where all the new trees will go? And don’t tell us that this will simply replace old trees because that’s just cooking the books . . .

As Health Department-mandated chain restaurant calorie counts seem to be surviving last-minute legal maneuvers, some customers yawn:

In an unused corner of a Burger King on Hylan Boulevard, an official-looking sign goes unremarked.

Its tiny print, disclosing the nutritional facts of the fast food on offer, resembles nothing so much as the legal mumbo-jumbo that no one really wants to acknowledge.

But if the city Health Department gets its way, the information soon will be front and center.

Health Code 81.50 mandates that all New York restaurants that are part of a nationwide chain of 15 or more locations must post a calorie count on their menu.

The Restaurant Association, which claims that the proposed law goes against the First Amendment, has until Friday to seek a stay from an appellate court.

While some eateries, such as Starbucks, Quiznos, Jamba Juice and Chevy’s, have accepted the new regulations and posted nutritional information in restaurants, others, such as McDonald’s, Burger King, KFC and Taco Bell, have refused.

. . .

Freida Dibartolo, who admits to not being a regular customer of Burger King, agrees that information should be readily accessible, but doesn’t believe it will affect how people order.

“If you don’t eat it often, you don’t pay attention the few times you eat it. If you eat it everyday, you don’t give a (expletive),” said the Dongan Hills resident.

There’s a scenario for some fetishist here somewhere:

She may be an international movie star, but this impudent pooch can’t tell the difference between Natalie Portman and a fire hydrant.

The “Star Wars” cutie was the unfortunate victim of a surprise soaking as she dropped by a downtown dog run.

Portman, who has been spotted in the West Village in recent days with her bearded boyfriend, Venezuelan-born folk singer Devendra Banhart, was walking her dog with him yesterday when the brazen piddling took place.

While she was getting a pup’s-eye view of the surroundings from ground level, another stroller’s frisky pet raised its hind leg, relieved itself right on her shoes — and then ambled on its way.