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Kids . . .

. . . are so thin-skinned these days:

A Staten Island public-school teacher was properly canned for making childish comments to his students, a state appeals court has ruled.

Douglas Lackow told one of his biology students to take a good look at the model of female reproductive organs he was holding because he “would never see one, so enjoy it.”

When a female student as Susan Wagner HS in Manor Heights yelled “Lackow sucks,” he responded, “No, you suck. Well that’s what it says in the boys’ bathroom,” court papers say.

Posted: May 29th, 2008 | Filed under: Staten Island

Which Authority? A Higher One . . .

The feral cats at JFK will be “turned over to the proper authorities” alright:

The cat and mouse game between Kennedy Airport felines and the Port Authority has come to an end — and the cats lost.

So say animal lovers who accuse the authority of backing out of negotiations to humanely deal with the hundreds of cats who roam the 5,000-acre airport.

The next stop for the furry creatures, advocates say, could be death.

“They are telling folks that they are trying to adopt these animals out, but that is patently not true,” said Patrick Kwan, New York state director of the Humane Society of the United States.

“These animals cannot be adopted out. This is an extermination program that sentences them to death.”

Posted: May 28th, 2008 | Filed under: Well, What Did You Expect?

If You See Something . . .

. . . frist check the return address. Then freak out about it:

A suspicious package with a return address in Saudi Arabia set off a police response that led to the evacuation of an Elm Park neighborhood last night and forced Little Leaguers from their baseball diamonds.

In the end, the small cardboard box was found to contain nothing more dangerous than about 20 hardcover and paperback books on myriad topics, including Middle Eastern culture and the Islamic religion.

Jacqueline DeJesus found the package, which had a shipping label from Riyadh, on the front stoop of her Princess Street home and immediately grew concerned.

“It had my eldest daughter’s first name on it and my address and that was it,” she said. “I’m Puerto Rican and American and have no family in Saudi Arabia, so I have no idea how it ended up here.”

Her daughter is married to a man who emigrated from the Middle East. But Ms. DeJesus said she wasn’t expecting any mail from overseas.

At about 7 p.m., cops evacuated Mrs. DeJesus, her family and neighbors, and stopped games in progress on the nearby West Shore Little League and Babe Ruth League fields.

The NYPD Bomb Squad responded within the hour and — after careful examination — determined that the box didn’t pose a threat.

Posted: May 28th, 2008 | Filed under: Makes Jack Bauer Scream, "Dammit!", Staten Island

We Are The New York Yankees . . . When We Give Our Word, We Will Do It

Because yeah, this is how the Yankees roll:

Alexander Martinez, a 35-year-old Hartford, Conn., resident, made headlines last August for his remarkable feat of catching two long balls in one game. First, he grabbed Hideki Matsui’s 100th big league homer — and later, he snatched a dinger off the bat of Melky Cabrera.

Martinez said he turned over the milestone Matsui ball to Yankees security man Bill Shaw.

In return, Martinez said, Shaw promised him an autographed Matsui ball, the bat Godzilla used to hammer the historic homer and 15 tickets to this season’s All-Star Game — the last at Yankee Stadium.

Martinez got an autographed ball and bat but hasn’t seen any All-Star tickets or an authentication letter for the bat.

Despite using an attorney to reach out to the Yankees, Martinez insisted he would never file a suit against his favorite team.

“I don’t want to go there. As many times as I can tell you, I’m a diehard Yankees fan,” Martinez told The Post.

“I’m not into any money or anything like that. I just want what was promised to me.”

Martinez said he asked Shaw to put their deal in ink. But he quoted Shaw as responding: “We are the New York Yankees. When we give our word, we will do it.”

Posted: May 28th, 2008 | Filed under: Sports, That's An Outrage!

Friends, When You Mug, Mug Them With Kindness, Not 20-Pound Rocks

Moral of the story — perhaps the rock part was overkill:

A hulking mugger who struck twice in five hours was busted yesterday when he picked on the wrong man — a 6-footer who fought back with his fists because “it’s very hard to scare me,” police sources said.

The victim, David Breksa, 39, was slammed in the ear and bitten on the chest by his attacker, Larry Benekin, 35, who allegedly tried to smash a cobblestone over his head — after smashing another man with a rock five hours earlier.

“I turn around to defend myself,” Breksa said. “He comes at me and I punched him in the chest. He goes backward and leans down and picks up a big friggin’ rock. It was a good 20-pounder. It was one of those big cobblestones. That rock is big enough to kill somebody.”

But Breksa, of East Harlem, tackled Benekin and they went at it at 109th Street and Central Park West at 1:15 a.m.

The 6-foot-1, 240-pound Benekin managed to grab Breksa’s cellphone and run off, but Breksa chased him and hailed some passing cops, who collared the mugger and petty thief, the sources said.

Posted: May 28th, 2008 | Filed under: Huzzah!, Law & Order
We Are The New York Yankees . . . When We Give Our Word, We Will Do It »
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