Channel 4 anchor Sue Simmons, perfecting the art of banter:

Simmons, who’s been with WNBC-TV for 28 years, dropped an F-bomb after she appeared to become angry during a promo for the station’s upcoming 11 p.m. newscast.

While teasing a story about rising food prices, she stopped in mid-sentence, shouting “What the f - - - are you doing?”

Simmons was not seen on camera at the time, and it wasn’t immediately known whom she was screaming at.

I love YouTube.

Until recently, the ferries that run back and forth between St. George and the Battery did not have a women’s locker room, which, until recently, wasn’t a big concern:

Part navigator, part security guard, part enforcer and part salty sea dog, Felicia Rosario, a petite and pretty 23-year-old from Queens, tends to forget that some passengers might not be used to seeing a female mate aboard the Staten Island Ferry.

With a year and a half under her belt at the Ferry, the veteran captains, mates and deckhands she works with say she’s part of the family — one of the guys.

But it’s the frequent “you go, girl” comments from passengers or the men who “look at me like I have three heads” that remind her that, to some, finding a woman with her job description is still a novelty.

“I get so many ‘girl powers,’ like I’m doing some great thing for womanhood. I don’t really see it that way. It’s just work.”

A graduate of State University of New York Maritime College, she majored in marine environmental science.

After a turn as a crew member on dinner cruise boats in New York Harbor, she came to the Ferry. She is now one of four female ferry mates.

. . .

The afternoons are full of tourists, but even though they’re a “headache,” with constant questions of “can we stay on the boat?” upon docking when all passengers must disembark, and a surprising number who lose their children, she would gladly cope with that in favor of her last assignment — the overnight shift on the weekend boats.

That shift, she said, is famous for “a lot of vomit and obscenities,” and the occasional “man overboard” checks, especially around the holidays.

“Compared to that, everything is roses,” she said.

Ms. Rosario may be “one of the guys,” but it’s still nice to have her own digs.

Her favorite boats are the new Marchi-class vessels that contain a luxury not afforded on the others — a female locker room.

“You can’t beat that,” she said.

And even in her uniform, she still manages to keep one girly touch — under the black gloves she wears to pull the heavy hooks that secure the boats to the slip is an engagement ring from her fiance, who is currently at sea aboard a container ship.

Location Scout: Staten Island Ferry.

. . . or whoever it is who is tasked to rid the city of the bugs:

The city Health Department is reporting progress in the war on the pests.

A department study found nearly 30% of all city households report having cockroaches, but the agency noted the problem is concentrated in low-income neighborhoods. In the past, infestation affected households at all income levels.

“I have not seen a roach in 10 years,” declared Joe Pepicelli, 68, of Brooklyn, who suggested the reduction is not because people are cleaner. It’s just that “they don’t keep soda bottles and garbage in the hallway.”

Exterminators told the Daily News they believe the roach problem is under control, thanks to new technology.

“There are a lot of options,” said Andy Linares, president of Bug Off in upper Manhattan. “Liquids, gels, aerosols, baits, granulators, growth regulators — all keep a lid on roaches.”

But never fear, for bedbug scaremonger Andy Linares — the Greg Packer of exterminators — will be sure gets his nasty hands on this bit of good news:

But don’t relax just yet. Bedbugs are on the rise.

With a steady stream of income, to boot — maybe the money raised from parking tickets can go to mass transit improvements:

A crackdown by the NYPD on illegally parked cars with city, state and federal placards on their dashboards resulted in 178 tickets — along with the arrest of a retired sergeant for having a fake on his dashboard, The Post has learned.

Teams of Internal Affairs Bureau cops swept through lower Manhattan and around government and courthouse hubs in the outer boroughs last week, targeting illegally parked government cars blocking crosswalks, bus stops and loading zones.

Twenty of the ticketed cars were towed to pounds, where one owner — the ex-cop — was charged with possession of a “forged instrument,” a misdemeanor, when he showed up to reclaim his vehicle.

His placard was a bogus Department of Homeland Security duplicate and he was given a desk-appearance ticket, officials said, declining to reveal his identity.

“Regardless of what they were using the placard for, the vehicles were illegally parking, even with the placards in their windows,” said Deputy Commissioner Paul Browne, the NYPD spokesman.

“The placard does not allow for double-parking, parking in front of hydrants, blocking bus stops, and the like. It still does not give you carte blanche.”

The four-day crackdown — from Tuesday, April 1, through Friday — was prompted by constant complaints from motorists and pedestrians that cars abusing their placard privileges were double-parking or using spots where they were not permitted and clogging streets.

Forty-eight of the ticketed cars belonged to the NYPD, with cops abusing either their personal placards or precinct permits. Six cop cars were towed.

The FDNY was also hit in the blitz. Three of its cars with “official” placards were ticketed. Another four FDNY cars, bearing “union” placards, were ticketed, and one of those was towed.

Some establishments ban cell phones, while others must crack down on “Danny Boy”:

A Manhattan pub owner is banning the St. Patrick’s Day standard from his bar for the entire month of March.

“St. Patrick’s Day is supposed to be a happy day. Do we have to sing a song that says, ‘Come and visit me when I’m dead’?” griped Shaun Clancy, owner of Foley’s Pub & Restaurant on W. 33rd St. near Fifth Ave.

Clancy, who grew up in Ireland, is so tired of hearing “Danny Boy” he’d like to see it hushed from glen to glen.

“There is more to Ireland than ‘Danny Boy’ and Lucky Charms,” Clancy said.

Clancy is offering a free Guinness to patrons who sing any other traditional Irish tune at the pub’s March 11 pre-St. Patrick’s Day bash. He also will give out surprise gifts to patrons who refrain from singing the song throughout this month during the pub’s regular Tuesday night karaoke events.

“It’s overplayed,” Clancy, 38, said of the song written in 1910 by English lawyer Frederick Weatherly, who had never even visited the Emerald Isle.

“It’s been ranked among the 25 most depressing songs of all time,” Clancy said.

. . . because this means that we officially no longer have to pay attention to Bloomberg.

Plans to bring Italian varietals to Staten Island are progressing:

The 2-acre Tuscan Garden Vineyard Project will be planted on a Snug Harbor hilltop by spring 2009, officials said yesterday.

“We’ll be creating, I’m sure, a serious wine,” declared winemaker Piergiorgio Castellani Jr., co-owner of Italy’s Castellani Wines.

The Italian winery, near Pisa — as in leaning tower of — produces 18 million bottles of wine annually.

Castellani estimated the 2,000-vine organic plot planned for the Staten Island Botanical Garden will produce as much as 7,000 bottles a year. The vineyard is to complement the Tuscan Garden Villa at the botanic garden.

. . .

Because the three types of grapes — merlot, cabernet sauvignon and sangiovese — he intends to plant will be the same as those used in his “Super Tuscan” wines, Castellani offered up a name for the Staten Island label.

“We will produce not a Tuscan wine,” Castellani said, “but a Super Staten Island Red.”

At the risk of sounding hypocritical, this absolutely beats the pants off tropical fish tanks:

Borough President James Molinaro, who has committed $2 million in taxpayer money to the project, said the vineyard will draw visitors.

“This is part of branding Staten Island,” Molinaro said, adding that 38% of Staten Islanders are Italian-American.

Bad news:

The wine — a name has not yet been chosen — will not be sold commercially but will go to tourists and could be served at government functions.

Which is to say, start contributing to the Borough President’s reelection campaign now. (And it’s never too early to pitch Talk of the Town.)

One thing you don’t expect after robbing a bank is getting cockblocked by a garbage truck:

Frank Russo and Patrick Crocitto were emptying baskets along Clove Road in Sunnyside just before 12:30 p.m. when they spotted a man running out of Clove Lakes Wines & Liquors at 1300 Clove, chasing a bandit and waving his arms, yelling “Robbery! Robbery!”

The Sanitation workers followed the two men in their garbage truck along Genesee Street to Seneca Avenue, where they used the truck to block the robber’s path.

Police identified the stickup man as Richard DiToro, 24, who lives with his parents on Mada Avenue in West Brighton.

Then, Russo and Crocitto, who was wielding a shovel, chased DiToro, who fell at one point during the pursuit, and threw the bag of money he had stolen, which was recovered by the store owner, Chung Lee.

Russo, a nine-year veteran of the department, caught DiToro and pinned him against a car.

Scott Stringer shows how the office of borough president stays relevant:

[T]he Manhattan borough president is charged with keeping all the official maps of New York County dating back to 1748, many of which have faded and begun to crumble to the point that they are in dire need of preservation.

Last week, Stringer put out a request for information from preservationists for ideas on how to save the crumbling maps, which are still publicly accessible. He also wants to digitize them and possibly put them online.

This is not merely a matter of interest to historians. The old maps detail the 21 lakes or ponds, 61 miles of streams and countless hills that marked the island of Manhattan before they were reshaped, expanded upon, or wiped clean over centuries of hubris.

In fact, the maps are still consulted whenever development or construction is being done.

“This is the history of the center of the universe,” Stringer said. “These maps should not be in this condition — they should be in a museum.”

The Map Room of the Topographical Bureau — just down the hall from Stringer’s 19th-floor office at 1 Centre St. — contains a collection of 4,000 maps, 800 of which are being targeted for major restoration.

Some of the maps have already been removed from the large, bound volumes that are kept in a series of tall filing cabinets and placed on archival paper, but many are too vulnerable to be handled any longer.

“My dog will rip you apart”:

Tim, an 85-pound, 3-year-old German shepherd with a kindly demeanor, was taking his 7:30 pm constitutional near the corner of Clinton and DeKalb avenues with companion Nancy Peterson on Nov. 15 when a man walked by with what appeared to be a thick gold chain concealed under his jacket.

“And then I heard this woman behind me screaming and crying,” recalled Peterson, the president of the Fort Greene PUPS. “I don’t know how, but I knew he had stolen something from the woman.”

And then Peterson got mad.

“I thought, ‘How dare you do that to somebody in this neighborhood!’”

And so Peterson and Tim raced off after the apparent mugger, with Peterson screaming, “My dog will rip you apart!”

. . .

Afraid for his life, the young man dropped the item . . .

It’s not so much a “classy restaurant in a retro location,” as one of the original investors once obnoxiously promised, but something better — an actual diner:

When last spotted in its ancestral home, there was the Munson Diner, steel and chrome shining off the streetlights, noirish blue exterior like a ghost from the ’40s, loaded onto a flatbed truck and lumbering toward the George Washington Bridge, bound if not for glory, at least for Liberty, a faded resort town in the Catskills.

It was May 5, 2005, and, as it turned out, getting a 50-foot-long, 30-ton diner onto a truck was the easy part. One of its new owners and a cameraman were taken off the George Washington Bridge by the police as they tried to film the big event without a permit.

The diner hit not one, but two highway bridges on the way up. And when it finally arrived, dinged up but more or less intact, the crew lowered it triumphantly onto its new foundation . . . backward, with the vintage neon sign and steel facade facing away from Main Street.

And then for two and a half years, the 15 local investors behind the diner transplant considered and discarded ideas from at least 23 potential operators. A Catskill kosher deli! A Catskill history museum! The site for a reality show featuring a talking diner and chatty patrons reflecting on city and country life!

All of which explains the sign by the entrance (”Come in. We’re finally open!”) and the somewhat disproportionate expressions of contentment on the face of patrons — not to mention investors — when the Munson finally reopened to big crowds last week, a lesson in comfort food, diner lore and other themes that could have been explored had anyone been nuts enough to greenlight the reality show.

. . .

The Munson might still be closed if not for Fred LaGattuta, 47, a retired diesel mechanic turned populist entrepreneur whose projects have included a bowling alley in Callicoon ($7 unlimited-time bowling, $2 beer, $1 pizza slices) and a motel and diner near Parksville (rooms at $49.99). He leased the diner with an option to buy it, along with a partner, Tom Russell.

Mr. LaGattuta figured the old diner should just be a diner, and worked every weekend for eight months with his 18-year-old son, Paeden, to fix it up.

There’s a new tile floor, new and bigger red booths, a new kitchen, a new ceiling, new laminate on the tables and the counter to go with the old facade and neon sign, old menu boards and old twirling stools.

The whole project will cost about $300,000, not the $125,000 the investors originally planned on, but at least it’s open, with two eggs, potatoes and toast for $2.50, $5.20 ziti, and a 12-ounce Monster Munsonburger with three cheeses, bacon and other extras, plus fries and cole slaw, for $6.

“I’m a fatso who likes to eat, and I thought this little town needed a restaurant like this,” said Mr. LaGattuta, whose family moved to the Catskills from Yonkers in the early 1960s. “You go to an old diner and you get, I don’t know, a warm feeling. That’s what I wanted.”

Elliot Spitzer learns the hard way that executive experience is not at all like the “rollicking discussions” he once enjoyed as a youth around his parents’ dinner table. Less than a day — or if you believe the Sun, just hours — after details emerge about the governor’s proposed Amazon tax, he clumsily retreats:

In a second major policy reversal in less than a day, Governor Spitzer is backing down from a plan to require Amazon.com and other online retailers to charge state and local sales taxes on all purchases from New York.

Yesterday, just hours after The New York Sun reported on the new revenue collection scheme, the Spitzer administration announced that it was burying it for the time being — at least until after the Christmas shopping season. The move saved New York City shoppers from having to pay an additional 8.375% on many Amazon.com goods.

“Governor Spitzer believes that now is not the right time to be increasing sales taxes on New Yorkers,” Mr. Spitzer’s budget director, Paul Francis, said in a statement. “He has directed the Department of Tax and Finance to pull back its interpretation that would require some Internet retailers that do not collect sales tax to do so.”

The turnabout came just hours after Mr. Spitzer said he was dropping his plan to allow illegal immigrants in New York to obtain driver’s licenses.

In this latest instance, Mr. Spitzer wasted little time before pulling the plug on another controversial policy, aborting it before it threatened to snowball into a distraction for his administration.

And do you really believe this part?

Mr. Francis, in an interview, said the governor was unaware of the new tax policy, which the tax department quietly issued with a memorandum on Friday. It was supposed to go into effect next month, in time for the holiday shopping rush.

“The governor really wasn’t aware of this. My focus is to raise revenue, and the governor has a broader perspective,” Mr. Francis said. “It’s a big government, and in hindsight, we probably should have made sure he focused on it. It’s one of those things, so you live and learn.”

And a new political axiom is born: if there’s one thing the netroots hate, it’s taxing crap they buy on Amazon (and all for a lousy $100 million . . . that’s somehow using political capital wisely?).

Terry Malloy blubbers, “Kid, this ain’t your night” because while pigeon is a delicacy in France, in New York, not so much:

Council Member Simcha Felder, a Democrat of Brooklyn, will announce legislation today to ban the feeding of pigeons anywhere in the city. He will also call for the appointment of a pigeon tsar to manage the population of the birds. In addition, he will recommend looking into further action, including introducing pigeon-killing predators or providing the birds, like New York City school children, with artificial means of birth control.

“The people of New York are sick and tired of dodging pigeons and their droppings as they walk around the city,” Mr. Felder said yesterday. “The sidewalks, parks, streets and bridges of our City are littered with evidence that something needs to be done. The government needs to take responsibility for this issue and end the free rein of pigeons in our city.”

. . .

“I know sometimes this doesn’t pass the laugh test,” [Minority Leader James] Oddo said yesterday. “And it’s easy for cynical people to say ‘Don’t they have anything better to worry about than pigeons?’ But I’m not worried about pigeons — I’m worried about commuters having to bob and weave to dodge these birds swooping and pooping.”

You know, when you think about it, tackling this issue is not the worst use of the City Council’s time . . .

After back, back, forth and forth about whether the Astroland amusement park will close to make way for a vacant lot while developer Joe Sitt and the city figure out what they can build on it, Sitt agrees to allow the Coney Island institution to stay open one more year:

Thor Equities, the real-estate giant that bought the land under the amusement park from owner Carol Albert in 2006 and gave Astroland one final season this summer, announced on Wednesday that it had reached an agreement with Albert to keep her rundown park’s 35 rides operating for one more season.

“Thor is fully committed to keeping amusements and games as part of the fabric of Coney Island for decades to come, and today’s agreement — reached after discussions with Albert and the community as a whole — represents the first step in that direction,” said Joe Sitt, Thor’s president, who would not reveal the financials of the deal.

After all, attendance was only up 30 percent last season! (Telling people you’re closing forever has a way of spurring that.) But what did we give away in the process?

Location Scout: Coney Island Amusement Core.

The cow who bolted is the latest animal to find amnesty at the Farm Sanctuary upstate:

A Queens bovine who turned city cops into cowboys is heading for her new home - the sprawling Farm Sanctuary in upstate Watkins Glen.

“Their working days are over when they get here,” said Wendy Hankle of the animals in the sanctuary.

She said the cow — who is living temporarily in an Animal Care and Control shelter — will be named “Maxine” once she gets to the shelter, a five-hour drive away.

While nobody has claimed the cow, Patrick Kwan, of the Mayor’s Alliance for NYC’s Animals, said Maxine likely escaped from a slaughterhouse.

“She’ll now be able to live her life and not end up as somebody’s steak,” he said.

“The cow is in custody,” deadpanned Police Commissioner Ray Kelly. “The Emergency Service officers, they’re used to corralling all sorts of different wildlife.”

Thank god — everyone can stop using my login now that the Times has come to its senses:

The New York Times will stop charging for access to parts of its Web site, effective at midnight Tuesday night.

The move comes two years to the day after The Times began the subscription program, TimesSelect, which has charged $49.95 a year, or $7.95 a month, for online access to the work of its columnists and to the newspaper’s archives. TimesSelect has been free to print subscribers to The Times and to some students and educators.

In addition to opening the entire site to all readers, The Times will also make available its archives from 1987 to the present without charge, as well as those from 1851 to 1922, which are in the public domain. There will be charges for some material from the period 1923 to 1986, and some will be free.

The Times said the project had met expectations, drawing 227,000 paying subscribers — out of 787,000 over all — and generating about $10 million a year in revenue.

“But our projections for growth on that paid subscriber base were low, compared to the growth of online advertising,” said Vivian L. Schiller, senior vice president and general manager of the site, NYTimes.com.

What changed, The Times said, was that many more readers started coming to the site from search engines and links on other sites instead of coming directly to NYtimes.com. These indirect readers, unable to get access to articles behind the pay wall and less likely to pay subscription fees than the more loyal direct users, were seen as opportunities for more page views and increased advertising revenue.

“What wasn’t anticipated was the explosion in how much of our traffic would be generated by Google, by Yahoo and some others,” Ms. Schiller said.

A state law went into effect yesterday that allows property owners to opt out of receiving unwanted fliers and circulars:

If menus madden and advertisements annoy, city dwellers will soon be able to stop them before they land on their doorsteps, thanks to a state law that hit the books yesterday.

The pizzeria, barber shop or delicatessen down the street will be banned from dropping its advertisements at buildings that post a sign saying unauthorized fliers are not welcome. Violators will rack up fines ranging from $250 to $1,000 per violation.

Sponsors of the law say the circulars not only create litter but are also a safety hazard. “You leave your house for three days, you come home and there’s 11 fliers on your lawn,” said Assemb. Mark Weprin (D-Little Neck). “Then people know nobody’s home.”

The city will wait to enforce the law until the Legislature reconvenes in the fall, Weprin said.

That’s because city lawmakers want to modify the law for multifamily buildings. Under the change, if some tenants still want menus, the owner can post a sign indicating how many residents want the advertisements and where they should be dropped.

In a week of pace setting, Queens continues to outdo itself:

Jamaica resident Ashrita Furman, 52, takes the old saying ‘records are meant to be broken’ to the next level.

Furman, who has set more than 150 official Guinness world records and currently holds the most records by an individual with 65, added to his total on Sunday, August 12 when he broke three more.

Furman set new records, which Guinness representatives have to verify, by doing 36 deep-knee-bends on a Swiss ball in one minute, throwing and catching a water balloon with a partner 74 feet, which shattered the previous record of 60 and his personal favorite, running a mile while bounce-juggling three balls — with zero drops. Furman utilized the track at Queens College for his final record finishing in a time of 9 minutes and 9 seconds.

“Nobody has ever done that before; it’s a new category that Guinness approved,” Furman told The Queens Courier. “Of all three I am most happy about this because I really think it’s going to catch on. I feel like I have established a new sport.”

While his interest in the Guinness book started when he was growing up in Kew Gardens, Furman said he was not an athletic kid and never imagined he would ever break a record — until he met his spiritual teacher Sri Chinmoy.

After participating in meditations conducted by Chinmoy, Furman experienced an epiphany in 1978 while participating in a 24-hour bicycle race in Central Park and decided he wanted pursue a quest to break records.

Less than a year later, Furman began his record-breaking by setting a Guinness world record for most consecutive jumping jacks — 27,000, which was previously set at 20,000.

Apparently the Wonder Wheel was already booked:

Two Brooklyn lovebirds are getting hitched today at the summit of the Cyclone, the historic Coney Island coaster with as many twists and turns as a modern-day marriage.

Robert Meyer, 39 and Teri Muroff, 38, will be married on the coaster’s 85-foot-high peak by the Rev. Cliff Herring, a card-carrying member of the American Coaster Enthusiasts.

“Going up the first ascent, Cliff is going to say the vows, and then we’re going to hit the first drop and scream ‘I do!’” said Muroff, a painters’ union employee who planned the wild ride with Meyer when they got engaged in 2004.

Nearly 100 friends and family members will join the thrill-seeking couple on the platform of the 80-year-old wooden coaster before actually riding it to the top.

Meyer and Muroff plan to read individualized vows during the one-minute, 50-second ride, but said they would take as many rides as it takes to accommodate each of their guests.

“We were concerned that we wanted to have something that wasn’t too tacky,” admitted Meyer, a welder who said he and Muroff initially investigated a wedding on the beach. “But to us, tacky is chandeliers and mirrors in wedding halls.”

Just save the ring exchange for afterwards . . .

Location Scout: The Cyclone.

If you see something, beat it senseless until it gives up the goods, then beat it some more:

Silva Natividad, 54, yesterday credited the TV show “COPS” for spurring her to tackle Jonathan Burkes on First Avenue near 38th Street at noon Monday.

“He grabbed my money and pushed me,” she said. “But I didn’t fall. I got a grip on myself.”

Natividad said Burkes tried to take off with the cash, but “you know how in ‘COPS,’ when they jump on the person before they run away? That’s what I did.”

. . .

“My money was . . . in his hand. I started banging his fist against the concrete until he let it go.”

Natividad said she put the money in her purse, then “kept hitting him and hitting him. I must have lost my mind.”

Burkes finally broke free and ran across the street, but his incensed victim was hot on his tail, and she caught and tackled him again.

She called 911 and told the dispatcher, “If you don’t come and get this guy I’m going to kill him.”

Maybe he’ll change the “Oy Vey You’re Leaving Brooklyn” and “Fuhgeddaboudit” signs to include some snappy Sonny Carson quotes once he becomes Borough President:

The race for the presidency of Brooklyn is off to an early start with City Council Member Charles Barron, a former Black Panther, officially announcing his candidacy yesterday by promising to represent all Brooklyn residents, but “take care of black folk.”

Mr. Barron said he is unapologetic about his plan to address the needs of black residents in Brooklyn. Speaking in front of Brooklyn Borough Hall surrounded by supporters, he said Brooklyn needs more affordable housing and jobs, as well as someone to stand up to developers trying to use eminent domain to secure land. He also called for an end to mayoral control of the city’s schools.

He argued that his platform would benefit white residents as well, because “when I take care of black folk, that’s going to impact you,” he said.

Mr. Barron, currently embroiled in a fight with Speaker Christine Quinn over the firing of his chief of staff, Viola Plummer, is famous at City Hall for utilizing racial rhetoric in his political battles.

. . .

While announcing his candidacy yesterday, he responded — without prompting — to critics who say he focuses too much on race.

“You ain’t heard enough yet,” he said. “Because I’m going to keep talking about it.”

The Reverend Al Sharpton spoke at the rally, saying he will work churches, subway stops, streets, and housing projects to ensure Mr. Barron is the first black president of Brooklyn. He also praised the candidate for defending Plummer.

At least one community board is cutting back on one of its most important duties:

Brooklyn Heights’ community board, citing a rash of requests, is poised to make it tougher to co-name streets after everyday people.

At a meeting last month, Community Board 2’s transportation committee voted unanimously in favor of new application criteria: Co-naming requests will only be accepted three years after the person’s death and the board will review name changes every five years.

Committee Chairman John Dew said that in recent years, the board has received too many demands to co-name streets for people whose impact on the community seemed limited.

“There is a sense that it has gotten out of hand,” said Dew, during the June 19 meeting at St. Francis College on Remsen (and, for now, only Remsen) Street. “We get so many names (of people) that people don’t know.”

The board gets around 10 applications a year, up from just one or two a year, according to Dew.

Last year, 127 streets were co-named in the five boroughs and 29 of them were in Brooklyn, according to the City Council.

District Manager Rob Perris called the proposed three-year waiting time a “cooling period for the emotions” that could allow applicants to really think their decision through.

. . .

Relatives of the deceased can be taken aback by refusals, added Perris. “Co-naming is a very emotional issue,” he said.

It’s also expensive and time-consuming. The signs themselves cost $58 to make, according to a DOT spokesperson. But there’s thousands of dollars in hidden labor costs on the day of the street co-naming ceremony.

The ironic thing about the Amazing Technology That Is The Internet is that the basis for it is remarkably low-tech:

Daniel Rayas moved to New York in January from El Paso, Texas, to care for his newborn granddaughter, Eva Lucia. But he needed a job to pay his room and board, one flexible enough to allow for daily diaper-changing duty.

The unlikely solution: collecting take-out menus.

Allmenus.com, an online yellow pages for restaurants, sent him on a quest to reel in menus from eateries across the New York metropolitan area. Four months and one worn out pair of boots later, Rayas has snapped up 10,000 take-out menus.

“My motto is ‘No menu left behind,’” said Rayas, 55, who gets paid $2 for each menu.

It all began one March morning when baby Eva was taking a nap. Rayas — an accountant by trade who worked demolition in El Paso before his move east — was crunching numbers part time for a law firm to pay his rent. But it wasn’t enough. He answered a Craigslist ad: “Earn Money by Collecting Menus.” He sent an e-mail and thought it would go unanswered.

“But the same day I got a response that said, ‘Get started.’”

So Rayas set out from his Washington Heights home in his brand new rust-colored High Sierra boots.

He walked down Broadway. Then he walked up and down Amsterdam Avenue, St. Nicholas Avenue, Audubon Avenue and Fort Washington Avenue. “All the numbered streets, too,” Rayas said.

By the end of the day, blisters covered his toes and he limped into a Rite Aid on 125th Street to buy a box of Band-Aids. “I leaned against the wall, took off my socks, popped the blisters and taped up my toes,” Rayas said. “Man, it felt good.”

Months later, he knows to tape up his feet, tighten his shoelaces and check Google Maps before setting out on his evening and weekend menu hunts, which at his current pace would net him about $60,000 a year. His subway and bus maps are covered with yellow and pink highlighter markings, his legs no longer get sore, and he’s lost 20 pounds. Meanwhile, his boss started calling him “the vacuum” for his astounding proficiency in bringing in menus.

. . .

“Chinese people believe in menus,” he said. “Jamaicans don’t. I ask, ‘Do you have a menu?’ They point to the wall.”

Rayas is grateful he’s no longer knocking down walls and hauling bricks. And he’s grateful to the pizza parlors and Chinese restaurants that have given him menus. “Whenever you don’t think there’s a restaurant around the corner, there’s always a pizza parlor and always a Chinese restaurant,” he said.

It’s the Daily News vs. The Post tabloid war writ small:

A lawsuit alleges free daily newspaper amNew York isn’t paying its distributors minimum wage, according to lawyer Maimon Kirschenbaum, who filed the complaint yesterday in federal court.

Plaintiff James Allen, 52, of Brooklyn, said he started passing out the paper in November and stayed for five months before leaving because of the working conditions.

“They keep you out there for a long time and want you to stay until you finish all your bundles,” Allen told Metro.

Allen said workers get paid a flat fee of $21 a day. After four hours, they would receive an additional $1.50 per bundle. Minimum wage in New York State is $7.15 an hour.

“I would start at 6 a.m. and sometimes work to 10:30 or 11,” said Allen. “You have to wait for a supervisor before you can leave, and sometimes they come late and sign you out late.”

The class action suit asked for unspecified damages from amNew York and its parent company, the Tribune Co.

Allen said he plans to start working as a Metro distributor today. Metro’s distributors are hired by a third party, News & Comics, Inc., and are paid more than $8 an hour. Regardless of how many bundles are left over after his shift, Allen said he was told he wouldn’t be responsible for handing out any more papers.

. . . and an “incomplete” for execution, but this is the kind of big government meddling that, deep down, everyone loves to see:

The seemingly endless stream of fliers, coupons, and menus stacked on front stoops and stashed in corners of apartment buildings would be a thing of the past in New York under a bill that would allow residents to bar distributors from dumping unwanted advertisements.

By posting a small sign or sticker stating: “This property does not want to receive unsolicited printed material,” a daily scourge for many New Yorkers would quietly come to a close.

“This is a first step in making sure that homeowners can do whatever they have to do without being bothered with circulars, and fliers, and all kind of junk they don’t want,” a Council Member Simcha Felder of Brooklyn said after hurling a heap of fliers and circulars on the steps of City Hall to illustrate the way front stoops appear to many New Yorkers arriving home from work.

. . .

Mr. Felder’s bill does not explain how the law would be enforced or how offenders would be penalized. He said distributors would be held accountable for ignoring posted signs, and suggested they be fined at least $100 for each home or apartment building given unwanted fliers.

Now if I could only remember what I did with my library card:

In what would be a first in the United States, the Brooklyn Public Library hopes to team up with Netflix to deliver DVDs and videos to anyone in the borough with a library card, The Post has learned.

The price would be unbeatable — free.

The disclosure was made by John Vitali, the library’s chief fiscal officer, following an announcement at Brooklyn Borough Hall that Dionne Mack-Harvin had been named executive director of the borough’s library system.

. . .

“What we want to do is work with Netflix and really get that inventory together, really use Netflix as the delivery mechanism,” Vitali said.

“We’re getting some good vibrations back. Nothing formal has been settled. What’s really exciting is — it’s my understanding — really the first of its kind, a model for that kind of corporate partnership.”

Netflix has an inventory of 75,000 movies.

Netflix spokesman Steve Swasey said he knew nothing about a possible partnership with the library and seemed surprised by the news.

Vitali said that if the partnership works out, the library and the movie-delivery service would develop a separate list. But it would include popular films.

“DVDs are very expensive to buy, and they’re also very expensive to move because they’re delicate,” Vitali said.

“Instead of buying the DVDs, we’d be outsourcing from Netflix to, in effect, create a free inventory of DVDs that would be available to our customers.”

[Emphasis added but let's skip the details, shall we?]

Given Brooklyn Brewery’s past labor strife, is its new bottle-conditioned “Local 1″ beer kind of like a big inside joke? Either way, it sounds like it will be good:

Brooklyn Brewery introduced their newest beer — Local 1 — last week at a breakout party at Rockefeller Center.

Their new beer is the first 100 percent bottled-conditioned Belgian inspired ale, crafted by Brooklyn Brewery brewmaster Garret Oliver. Oliver, a well known “beer connoisseur,” is very excited about his new beer, and gave reasons the new Local 1 is a classier and more distinguished beer than other brews.

“What people don’t realize is that aroma makes up 75 percent of a beer’s taste,” expalined Oliver. “I like to think that Local 1 is Belgian-inspired, but also very Brooklyn in spirit.”

Local 1 is Brooklyn Brewery’s 13th beer, and the public should be able to get their first taste within the next year.

Location Scout: Brooklyn Brewery.

The lure of the 7 train was too much for one tot as he escaped the clutches of his harried mother and jumped on a Manhattan-bound express train yesterday:

Stuart [Tito] is quite a handful — constantly curious, perpetually in motion and absolutely fearless. Trains are his passion; he points whenever one roars above his Queens neighborhood.

That’s why [Blanca] Amarilis held his hand tightly as she and husband Victor Tito, 32, waited at Junction Blvd. on their way to a doctor’s appointment for their 9-month-old, Derrick.

As an express pulled into the station, Amarilis noticed Derrick’s nose was running, and she leaned down over the stroller to wipe it — letting go of Stuart.

In that instant, the little imp scooted away as fast as his sneaker-clad feet would take him, darted through the closing doors of the train and was whisked away.

Fortunately for Lionel, they do not have blood on their hands . . . this time:

“I thought that someone would take him,” she said. “I prayed to God to protect my son and let me find him again.”

She didn’t know it, but her prayer was being answered. A woman who saw Stuart board the train, scooped him up, got off at 61st St. and took a train back to Junction Blvd.

When they arrived, she spotted the boy’s father looking frantic and asked, “Is this your son?”

“Yes!” the Ecuadoran-born cook answered, wrapping his errant explorer in a hug. The woman melted into the crowd.

A crime victim’s fantasy scenario:

A man who had his bike stolen six weeks ago thought he was seeing things when he spotted it yesterday attached to a pole around the corner from his Upper West Side apartment.

But there it was, chained up at the corner of West 98th Street and Broadway, said 26-year-old financial worker Michael Davis.

“Lo and behold, there’s my bike chained to a pole. It still had all the reflective stickers I had put on it,” he said.

“I never thought I’d see it ever again. The only difference is that someone added one of those milk cartons to make it into a delivery bike.”

Davis lost the bike six weeks earlier when he went to visit his in-laws and decided not to drive.

Davis, an observant Jew, said he chained the bike in front of their home at West End Avenue near 90th Street, but when he left it was gone. He reported it stolen, but was told it was unlikely it would ever be found.

“Fast forward six weeks, and right before the Sabbath I had to run down to the corner store to buy some groceries, and there it was,” he said.

He flagged down a passing cop car and the officers said they should wait for the deliveryman to return. When he didn’t, they figured he had bolted and cut Davis’ bike loose and returned it to him.

Fuckin’ A, beavers are back! And at $15 million, Representative José E. Serrano gets naming rights:

A crudely fashioned lodge perched along the snow-covered banks of the Bronx River — no more than a mound of twigs and mud strewn together in the shadow of the Bronx Zoo — sits steps away from an empty parking lot and a busy intersection.

Scientists say that the discovery of this cone-shaped dwelling signifies something remarkable: For the first time in two centuries, the North American beaver, forced out of town by agricultural development and overeager fur traders, has returned to New York City.

The discovery of a beaver setting up camp in the Bronx is a testament to both the animal’s versatility and to an increasingly healthy Bronx River.

A few years ago the river was a dumping ground for abandoned cars and rubber tires, but it has been brought back to life recently through a big cleanup effort.

The biologists who discovered the beaver say they have nicknamed it José, after United States Representative José E. Serrano of the Bronx, who has directed $15 million in federal funds toward the river’s rebirth.

In an interview, Mr. Serrano said he had always envisioned the river getting cleaner, “but I don’t know to what extent I imagined things living in it again.”

A number of people reported seeing the beaver last fall, but biologists figured that the sightings were much more likely to have been of muskrats, which are somewhat common in the area.

But the biologists were intrigued enough to investigate, and after trudging the riverbanks, they spotted gnawed tree stumps and the 12-foot-wide lodge — evidence that pointed to beavers, which are rarely seen in the wild because they tend to work at night and avoid people.

Then on Wednesday, the biologists were able to videotape the animal on film, swimming up the river looking for more material to insulate its home. The animal is several feet long, two or three years old, and appeared to be a male in search of a mate, said one of the biologists, Patrick Thomas, the curator of mammals at the Bronx Zoo, which is run by the Wildlife Conservation Society.