Cops recovered an abandoned Greyhound in Queens Wednesday that had been swiped from one of the bus line’s lots on Sunday.

“Who would want to steal a Greyhound?” asked Jose Martinez, 42, a worker at an East Elmhurst deli where the $75,000 bus was found. “It’s not like you can sell it or hide easily.”

Swarms of traffic agents patrol the jammed streets of Astoria’s commercial strips every day, writing tickets for expired meters and double-parked cars — even as drivers sit in their vehicles.

Earlier: We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Quotas — We Have Productivity Goals For That!; Countless Hovers Under Cover Of The Street, Or, The Gift Down Below.

A Queens World War II veteran said he and his wife became the latest victims of Toyota accelerator woes when his 2009 Camry’s gas pedal jammed — sending the car careening into a synagogue.

After Alexa scribbled her name, the date and a smiley face on her desk during a Spanish class on Monday, her teacher reported her to an assistant principal, who placed a call to cops, city officials said.

The cops arrested Alexa, escorting her out of the school with her hands behind her back in metal handcuffs, Camacho said.

City Department of Education spokeswoman Margie Feinberg called the episode a mistake. “The principal made a mistake and has lifted the suspension,” she said.

. . .

The NYPD is expected this month to start using Velcro handcuffs to subdue unruly kids following a pilot program in 22 schools in northern Queens.

“My house is rumbling,” said John Warren, 45, a father of three who lives on 49th St. near the speed bumps.

. . .

Before the bumps were installed in 2005, the street used to be a “raceway” for speeding vehicles, residents said.

But the speed bumps haven’t slowed everyone down.

“People [speed] purposefully because they want to see how airborne they can get,” Warren said.

Maybe, somewhere in the more wooded areas around Rochdale Village, maybe . . . the creature lurks. Traps have been set. But people, like Darnell Brunston have already taken pictures. And they’re not waiting to be told what it is. They’re giving it a name.

“I saw him the other night. He’s taller than me when he stands up on his two hind legs. That is a coyote! I’m a country boy from Georgia. That’s exactly what it is,” resident Richard Howard said.

. . .

Animal Control officers have set up a series of traps. They think they’re going to find a stray dog. But you never know.

. . .

“There are people who park in that lot who have small children. Can you imagine you put your stroller to the side, you’re putting your baby in, and the coyote . . . you turn around, and the coyote’s in your stroller?” added resident Tiffany Arrington.

Officials want to see everything before they determine if it is indeed a coyote. But when you talk to folks here they are convinced it is.

Animal control officers set a trap at Rochdale Village after a coyote or similar creature was spotted prowling around a parking lot in the sprawling south Queens cooperative housing complex.

A Bronx strip club owner is under fire from Long Island City community leaders for his plans to open a gentleman’s club that could feature all-nude girls near the Queensboro Bridge.

Gus Drakopoulos, who operates Sin City in the Bronx, plans to open a club featuring full nudity if the local community board tries to block his liquor license. By law, a club that serves liquor can have only topless women.

“He’s a thoroughly disingenuous guy with a total disrespect for this community,” said attorney Pat O’Brien, a member of Community Board 2. “It’s totally polarized the community. We’ve been trying for decades to make this a better place.”

Drakopoulos said his Bronx club, next to the Major Deegan Expressway, has made the community a better place by illuminating the block and planting trees on the desolate street.

“We took a concrete, deserted neighborhood and brought life to it,” he said. “There were weeds 5 feet high, car parts and tires everywhere.”

“My block is so quiet,” begins a joke that Moody McCarthy has added to his routine, “if there’s any yelling at night that means Ecuador scored a goal.”

. . .

In case you haven’t been to a comedy show in a while, comedians are still having little luck with the ladies. And living in Astoria isn’t necessarily helping.

When The Courier was at the store, one customer wanted four roosters from the same cage. So, when the man reached in to grab the four birds, one fell to the floor and started walking around the store.

“That happens sometimes,” Ustav said, and no one else in the store seemed to flinch. Then, the birds are tied up and dropped on a scale, which will determine how much it costs.

After that, the birds are brought back to the “slaughter room” — a room located in the back of the store on the first floor — where the killing and cleaning process begins.

First, the bird’s neck is cut and broken in order to drain the blood out of the animal. Then, the bird is thrown into a “plucking” machine that takes all of the feathers off the bird.

“Then we have to clean up the inside and take the guts out,” Ustav said. “Sometimes we cut off the head, but some people like it with the head.”

See also: Live Poultry Markets.