Annotated Twitter: Concave Annoyance Or Rigid Act Of Uselessness

April 5, 2015

The PR-Industrial Complex hard at work to kill what's left of your barely smoldering Saturday night buzz.

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April 7, 2015

I would have thought it'd have an "e" at the end, but no matter.

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April 14, 2015

Spatula or scraper? That concave annoyance or rigid act of uselessness?

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April 16, 2015

And, look, let's be frank — it's not just one but rather all of them.

Perhaps you've experienced "top-notch pizza," "top-notch cocktails," or even "top-notch bowling." My friends, notches topped in defense of freedom are no vice.

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April 17, 2015

MLB Extra Innings + HBOGO = uh, this.

And then we get prickly about Twitterrific "top-[blank]" lists . . .

April 18, 2015

Have you ever — ever — in all your years of reading, understood what monumental onslaught of transcendent brilliance an epigraph was meant to impart on your to-be-determined reading experience? I feel guilty about skipping them, then try to sit there and divine some sort of goddamn meaning only to quickly give up and start a book without ever thinking about the epigraph ever again. At best, epigraphs are a masturbatory exercise on the part of the writer to "prove" that he or she, I don't know, maybe makes use of those vestigial college paperbacks still cluttering bookshelves? There is no "at worst" because epigraphs are already "at worst." In short, feel free to gratuitously ponder over your precious epigraph, because America does not give a fuck. Honestly, I don't remember what book it was that set me over the edge.

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April 19, 2015

Fucking clickbait.

First, you have to assume the worst about artists who mine personal tragedy for creative purposes. Then you have to visit the local supermarket first thing on a Sunday morning in order to take a child out of a situation in which he might (did) potentially wake up his suitemate/sibling by GETTING UP SO FUCKING EARLY IN THE MORNING. They had "Tears in Heaven" on the sound system. Heh.

I'm assuming Jane Jacobs had this in mind when she wrote "The ballet of the good city sidewalk never repeats itself from place to place, and in any once place is always replete with new improvisations."

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April 22, 2015

People everywhere love "double meanings," when in reality they're lazy, facile and intellectually moronic. And of course I cannot stop whittling away at them to craft the best, most annoying ones of all time.

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April 27, 2015

My sense was, yes, yes, of course they were.

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April 29, 2015

In other words, picking up the pivot foot to pay fleeting attention to the early rounds of the NBA playoffs:

The Spurs intentionally fouled Jordan three times late in the first half, resuming the divisive strategy that even Popovich claims he uses reluctantly. Jordan, a dismal free-throw shooter, missed four of six before Rivers pulled him out. San Antonio committed five more intentional fouls against Jordan in the third quarter before Rivers pulled him again. He finished 7 for 16 at the line.

Posted: October 8th, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Too Much Information | Tags: , , , , ,

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