Annotated Twitter: Proving Yet Again How Essential Sleep Is To The Healthy Function Of The Human Brain

May 1, 2015


Actually kind of scary: I turned on the stove, like I was making breakfast. This was the month of lack of sleep.

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May 3, 2015


Seriously, it went "NY! CFC!"

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May 5, 2015


It's "Alexa" and I don't understand how the ads for it running today — that says its name out loud — don't, uh, turn it on from the TV. (Jeez, what if it did do this, Manchurian Candidate style, and wreaked havoc remotely?)


Everything is worth a shot.

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May 6, 2015


I can't find a clip online; it was brilliant. Self-reflective note: example of exhibiting weakness of creative mind/facile adherence to rules.


Came across this in my day job and it was very funny to me, assuming a lot less funny to Chicagoans.

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May 7, 2015


"Urchin" is in the eye of the beholder.

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May 8, 2015


You think your child is brilliant, until they're not.

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May 9, 2015


Just got done complaining about Obama's "middle-class economics," and got to thinking.

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May 11, 2015


Man, I wish I could remember what this meant. Pretty sure it had something to do with something on TV on Sunday night but I have no clue what.

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May 12, 2015

Again, no clue. [Googling historic weather stats] Oh, right: it was going to be 87 that day.

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May 13, 2015

For the longest time, I was convinced that those solar power calls were people trying to get you to switch energy providers. I finally looked up spoofed caller ID numbers and felt embarrassed for hollering at these people.

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May 15, 2015

After a while, every commercial starts looking like a Cialis ad.

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May 16, 2015

LOVE that they offer this feature but also assume that these are the trending Urban Dictionary topics like all the time; had to look up "bye felicia" and "cheeky nandos." Definitely did not have to look up "sex." Have a pretty good handle on the rest.

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May 17, 2015


The big question was why I was using Yahoo — must have been upset at Google right then or something.

Yup, it's still the case: Google Images gets it right while Yahoo images mixes in lord-knows-what-the-fuck, though this image (it's a barbecue image, believe it or not) treads a fine line.


Sounded brilliant at the time, I'm sure.


Series finales are always disappointing, except for Friday Night Lights.


Mad Men, the hill, Don Draper's slick fucking mug, then Bam!:

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May 18, 2015


Object lesson in why 140-character limits are LAME ("wld"? "wch"?). This was Ernest Hemingway talking about Beryl Markham's West With the Night and apologizing, I think, for (lack of a better concept) defemininizing her persona in the book.


Let's see, let me guess, a muggy early spring day? . . . [checking] . . . yup.

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May 20, 2015


Forget what was happening exactly, but it occurred to me at some point how badly timed some pitch emails are.


Oh, I see — this comes 20 minutes later . . . overworked, overtired.

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May 21, 2015

No clue how it happened, but it cooked so fast, then all of the sudden the Googlebots know you're how shitty a pitmaster you are.


Sometimes baseball highlights are so fucking boring. Sorry.


I blame my son for this, not the artist, or even the music service. But really, I blame myself mostly.

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May 29, 2015


Not my joke, but it came from this household.

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May 31, 2015


Is it just me, or is good asparagus always described as "beautiful"? I don't know if it's just an exuberance about things that happen in spring or if it perhaps reveals something deep-seated about our relationship with flowering vegetables or what, but it sort of reminds me of how critiques are often withering and onslaughts are almost always veritable.

Posted: October 31st, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Too Much Information | Tags: ,