Money Shot

If you’ve ever wondered what preparation takes place to produce the apartment porn you see on Craig’s List and real estate agents’ websites, now you know:

I’m no photographic genius, but to my mind you can only get so creative with a square box; unless, of course, you have an accomplice who is willing to let you sit on their shoulders for some aerial views. I always feel a little silly standing in a furnished apartment with 10 other brokers while we shuffle around and try to stay out of each other’s frames. Even a sliver of some anonymous agent in the background is like a black flag on the otherwise perfect shot of light streaming through the windows. You want to capture it clean, and it’s no easy task with all of the commotion.

So, you are busy at work, perusing the New York Times for your next apartment, making dozens of phone calls and getting the same result, “It was just rented but I have . . .” Meanwhile, unbeknownst to you, 15 rental agents are running through your current apartment (none of them wiped their feet) snapping away at your bathroom. You really should have taken your delicates to the dry cleaners instead of hanging them on the shower rod, because in two days those, too, will appear everywhere online. While I’m on the subject, you three guys using the towels as curtains could have at least put the bong away. We can always shoot around the dirty dishes.

With thousands of listings now available online and a fair amount of them almost accurate and reasonably current, agents are forced to get more and more creative with their apartment ads. Use of the wide angle lens for the illusion of greater square footage is one standard tactic, while others have now employed companies like Gotham Photo for a more polished and professional look (although this is more often the case in the sales market). Rental agents aren’t normally willing to spring for fancy pictures on an open listing that some other joker may just as easily rent with only a blurry snapshot of the building.