Step Aside, Let Passengers Off, Move All The Way Into The Car, Eat Something — Anything — Even A Slice Of Bread — Before Leaving In The Morning

MTA statistics show yet again that sloppy dieters are making you late for work:

Sick straphangers, including those who faint from dieting too strenuously, are among the top causes of subway delays, according to the Metropolitan Transportation Authority.

After track work and signal problems, ill passengers rated among the main reasons for train disruptions between October 2005 and October 2006, according to an analysis of MTA statistics.

Asim Nelson, a transit emergency medical technician, said that fainting dieters topped the “sick customer” list: “Not eating for three or four days, you are going to go down . . . If you don’t eat for 12 hours, you are going to get weak.”

Though the MTA keeps no official record of the nature of rider illnesses, the paper said that an average 395 delays each month are caused by ill riders.