Things Not Worth One One-Millionth Of Mental Space Include . . .

. . . Smurf Week, especially if we’re talking about anyone remotely involved in municipal government:

City officials announced on Wednesday that next week would be Smurfs Week in New York City and that the Smurfs had been chosen as this year’s Get More NYC family ambassadors.

. . .

Although there will also be Smurfs Week events in the Bronx and Brooklyn, there will be none in Staten Island or Queens, according to a map posted on NYC & Company’s Web site. That omission was deemed “distressing” by Dan Andrews, a spokesman for the Queens borough president, Helen Marshall.

When Ms. Marshall was notified, she lapsed into a bit of verse, saying: “Though only three apples high,/ the Smurfs have left us high and dry./ The animators drew,/ created a movie that almost seems true,/ but have left us all blue.”

Don’t borough presidents have more important things to think about? Oh wait . . .