If You Own An Animal, For God’s Sake Use A Professional

Why anyone would patronize a back-alley, unlicensed veterinarian I have no idea, but thank god this undercover kitten stopped him:

Meet undercover detective Fred – the purr-fect cop.

The 9-month-old street-savvy feline pretended to be in need of a neutering to trap a bogus house-calling veterinarian, Brooklyn District Attorney Charles Hynes said yesterday.

“This is the first undercover cat,” said Hynes, announcing felony charges against Kingsborough College student Steven Vassell, 28. “I want to make it clear: We’ll do it again.”

Hynes’ office set up the sting after dog owner Raymond Reid reported that Vassell bungled an operation on his Boston terrier, Burt. Reid, who said he heard about the phony vet through the grapevine, said Vassell checked out Burt in August.

Yesterday, as he cradled a healthy, panting Burt, Reid recalled how Vassell called him with bad news.

“I was devastated,” Reid said. “He called me and told me he found a foreign object lodged in Burt’s intestines. He told me he had to operate … that Burt was going to die. I told him I was going to come over.”

But Vassell decided to deliver Burt himself – with a bill for $985, Reid said.

“He drove up, and Burt jumped out of the car like there was nothing,” he said. “There was a scar. His mouth was drenched with blood. He didn’t leave any medication or anything.”

Reid said he got Burt to a real vet, then called authorities.

That’s when Hynes deputized Fred, a stray kitty with pneumonia rescued at 4 months old by city Animal Care and Control.

Secret cameras caught Vassell on a house call to an undercover agent who asked him to neuter Fred, authorities said. She handed him $135. Vassell was arrested as he left the apartment, Fred in hand.