Totally Unfunny

Message to any of our friends who may have ditched our holiday party Saturday to go to this dog’s “Bark Mitzvah”: You’re not our friend anymore.

I don’t know if it’s because it’s too cold today or because the Times actually wrote about it or whatever, but I find this completely, utterly unfunny. Like nausea-inducing You’re-Part-of-the-Problem unfunny:

In the long walk of history between man and dog, the bark mitzvah could be seen as an unexpected pit stop. Yet it was celebrated on Saturday night in the Bronx in a traditional way, with a party for family and friends of the 13-year-old that included a chopped-liver sculpture, choruses of “mazel tov!” (or, in this case, “muzzle tov!”), a cantor and gifts.

The proud father, wearing a dog-patterned tie, was Mark Nadler, 43, a New York cabaret singer. He had sent out invitations to dozens of friends “to share a special day in our lives when my dog, Admiral Rufus K. Boom, will celebrate his bark mitzvah in the tradition of our ancestors.”

Mr. Nadler, who had his bar mitzvah years ago, said he was not unfamiliar with entertaining at bar mitzvahs at “high holy places like the Hard Rock Cafe.” They sometimes seemed to be expensive productions that helped parents raise their social radar rather than sacred coming-of-age ceremonies for 13-year-olds. So Mr. Nadler thought he would give a bar mitzvah for his wheaten terrier and watch the eyebrows rise.