Declaring Jihad On Potholes

Worst pun of the weekend is the Daily News’ “His Hole-y War”:

Death to potholes!

The city will begin a massive blitz today, dispatching 30 crews to fill more than 1,200 of the craters with 90 tons of asphalt each day.

“Potholes, potholes. Potholes, Potholes,” Mayor Bloomberg bemoaned on his weekly WABC-AM show yesterday. “There’s probably few more annoying things than driving down the street, hitting a pothole — and, sadly, potholes are probably always going to be with us.”

While the mild winter had reduced the number of street cavities, the city’s Department of Transportation remains committed to making the roads as smooth as possible, Bloomberg said.

. . .

Transportation Commissioner Iris Weinshall conceded the seven-day-a-week blitz, slated to end in mid-March, could increase traffic.

“If you get stuck in traffic a little bit this weekend and you see a crew working on the highway or on a street, don’t get so angry,” she said. “It’s because these guys are out there doing their jobs.”

Applying the Anthraxical poetry technique to the situation results in the following:

You Can Not Stop Us
We Have This Asphalt
You Die Now
Are You Afraid?
Death To Potholes
Death To Cave-Ins
Hizzoner Is Great