For Goodness’ Sake, Have A Human Child Already (And If That’s Not Possible, Adopt!)

Dog owners are scary. Really, really scary:

A few weeks ago, the owners of the Chocolate Room, home of the $40-a-pound raspberry-peppercorn ganache, paid a visit to the bakery that had just opened across the street from the trattoria that sells pizza flaked with actual gold leaf. They complimented, with a tinge of envy, the Blodgett ovens behind the bakery counter.

Not much to envy, the bakers replied. “They said, ‘Don’t buy these ovens because they’re convection ovens and our cupcakes come out windblown,'” said Naomi Josepher, one of the chocolatiers.

Ms. Josepher was perplexed. “I said, ‘Your cupcakes look a lot better than ours. And anyway you guys are serving dogs and we’re serving people.'”

Well, yeah. And?

It is true. The bakery, Buttercup’s Paw-tisserie, claims to be the first doggie bakery in the whole city that makes its treats on-premises. Take that, SoHo.

And P.S.: The cupcakes, known in this case as pupcakes, are not in the least windblown. They are in fact perfect miniatures, with a perfect white yogurt-icing paw print embossed upon a silken crust of carob.

They are also utterly delicious. To humans. As well they should be, considering the all-natural human-grade ingredients.

“The stuff we use here is healthier than what we eat,” Betty Wong said from behind the counter, as her business partner and brother-in-law, Scott Wong, prepared a tray of wheat-free liver-and-herb biscotti for the oven.

Paw-tisserie also offers coconut-coated carob-crunch truffles ($1.50), liver-cheese brownies (75 cents), salmon crackers with seaweed and anchovy paste ($6.95 for “a barker’s dozen”) and pupcakes ($1.50).