The House That Ruth Built . . . Yawn

It is said that New York is unsentimental about its past — one of the reasons it has remained a vital, adaptive center of commerce over the years. Its character — build up, tear down, build up, tear down — can be contrasted with more static cities like Philadelphia and Boston. So in some ways it’s not surprising that the imminent demise of historic Yankee Stadium apparently bothers no one.

But can you imagine this callousness happening with Fenway Stadium or Wrigley Field? The Times reports:

Construction of the ballpark will mean the end of major league baseball at Yankee Stadium, where Mickey Mantle roamed center field, Don Larsen pitched the only World Series perfect game, popes visited and Joe Louis beat Billy Conn.

“We are standing at the cathedral of baseball,” Randy Levine, the Yankees’ president, said at a crowded news conference with team executives and elected officials sitting beneath the stained glass of the Stadium Club. “We love this place. We honor its memories.” But, he added: “This building is becoming nonfunctional. It can’t go on for another 40 years.”

Fenway is similarly “nonfunctional,” but Boston can’t seem to replace it.

Isn’t there anyone out there who wants to save The House That Ruth Built? Yes — about 20 people:

Daniel L. Doctoroff, the deputy mayor, said he did not anticipate a fight over the stadium or a campaign like the ubiquitous one mounted by Cablevision against the proposed $2.2 billion Jets stadium on the Far West Side of Manhattan that could have been the centerpiece of the 2012 Olympics. The refusal by Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver last week doomed that project, forcing the city to look to Flushing in Queens.

“There’s a small group that doesn’t want everything to happen, wherever it is,” Doctoroff said.

That small group appears to be Friends of Yankee Stadium, whose membership of 20 has been “waiting for something to organize against,” said David Gratt, one of its members, who lives two blocks from the stadium.

The group has a Web site, yankeesstayhome.com.

“For 20 years, the Yankees have stated their desire for a new stadium, but never successfully stated a case for need,” he said. “The mayor and the Yankees say it’s approaching nonfunctionality, but it processed nearly four million people last year. I’m sure there are minor structural things to be addressed, but it’s not nonfunctional.”

Gratt said he would like to see the old stadium survive the way Fenway Park has.

It’s like the leasing office said after informing us they would be raising our rent an extortionate 9 percent: “We value good tenants but your apartment is below market.”

The metaphysical Daily News headline: “New York to Everything That Moves: Drop Dead!”

Why Restaurant Week Is Like Crack

The Times’ deceptive headline — “For 20 Bucks, Is It Worth It?” — refers not to the sometimes disappointing “cheap week” chickensalmoncaesarsalad offerings but rather whether the restaurants think it’s worth it. Whose side are they on anyway?

So they lose money on truffles and fresh morels — what happened to a sense of civic duty? Some of us treat Restaurant Week as a rare opportunity to experience — Bowdlerized, no matter! — places commoners can’t afford or can’t often afford! A culinary bleacher seat, as it were. That’s why stuff like this makes me feel lazy about wanting to take a long lunch:

David Waltuck, the chef and an owner of Chanterelle, said he uses ingredients that are “maybe a little less expensive” like chicken or salmon during the Restaurant Week lunch rush. “I wouldn’t do calves’ liver or tripe or a strong fish,” he said.

Sure, skimp on the liver because it’s too much of an “acquired taste.” Harrumph! The question is whether Restaurant Week is worth it to the consumer! Yet the Times wants us to believe that restauranteurs are somehow magnanimous about it:

“When I called my fish guy last year and told him I wanted to do halibut for Restaurant Week, he told me to put down my crack pipe,” said Alexandra Guarnaschelli, chef at Butter on Lafayette Street. But her grilled halibut with squash emulsion flew out of the kitchen and became a house favorite.

So an open call to establishments participating in Restaurant Week: Pick up the damn crack pipe already! We’re still going to come — it’s addictive!

But What A Charming Facade!

The biggest tragedy of this Times article about unairconditioned city schools is that this glorious bit of Times-ese appears in the 13th paragraph. It’s as if the reporter was scared to bring it up front! Is that dripping sweat or condescension? You make the call:

But in New York, with its sometimes majestic but aging schools, the heat’s effect seemed especially pronounced. Classrooms were like ovens by the end of the day, the students inside feeling like they were being slowly sautéed in their own perspiration. There were no reports of serious injuries, but there was misery aplenty.

See, I have qualms aplenty with the mixed metaphor here — shouldn’t it be “Classrooms were like ovens by the end of the day, the students inside feeling like they were being slowly basted in their own perspiration”? Or “Classrooms were like sauté pans by the end of the day, the students inside feeling like they were being slowly braised in their own perspiration”? Get Frank Bruni on the case — he can advise!

Grandiose and Totally Meaningless

The Village Voice tries to digest the Queens Olympic Stadium hail mary effort:

. . . [I]t’s been quite a week for turnabouts in general. Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who just last week was insisting that a Queens stadium was unworkable because there was no way to pay for it, now enthuses that it would be “one of the most wonderful things, I think, that would ever happen to Queens.” Mets owner Fred Wilpon, who had insisted on going halfsies with the public on any new stadium, now says he’ll pay construction costs out of his own pocket. . . .

How much of this is real, and how much is political posturing to convince the International Olympic Committee not to laugh off New York’s bid for the 2012 Summer Games when it meets in Singapore next month? Probably a fair bit of each.

But isn’t there a third, more devious reason? Namely, if New York’s chances for snagging the Olympics are slim to none, it’s the perfect opportunity to make empty gestures all around. It’s the equivalent of garbage time in the waning minutes of a blowout — let the scrubs get some playing time!

Knowing that the city’s bid amounts to nothing offers the Mayor the chance to dazzle Queens residents with grandiose plans to turn Willets Point into a destination. Knowing there’s no chance the Olympics will happen allows Fred Wilpon to make generous — and meaningless! — gestures to pay all the costs for a stadium. Smart, that.

“Trendy” Willets Point?

You know the city’s Olympic bid chances are rapidly diminishing when people are talking about gentrifying Willets Point. Say it ain’t so! So:

A new Shea Stadium may be part of a larger transformation in Queens that would turn one of the city’s perennial eyesores into a trendy mix of retail, entertainment and housing.

The city Economic Development Corp. is sitting on 14 different development concepts for Willets Point, a 48-acre outback of junkyards and auto-body shops.

“Many of the ideas for the area are spectacular,” Councilman John Liu (D-Flushing) said.

“Many of them include retail and entertainment-related complexes,” added Liu, a member of the city’s Willets Point Advisory Committee. “Housing is a component in some of the plans. Some of the plans envision a new commercial district. Some of them call for an entirely new community – residential and commercial mixes.”