I Believe I Can Fly

Don’t tell the kids — alcohol really does turn you into Superman:

A 60-year-old man, apparently drunken, jumped five stories off the roof of his Hell’s Kitchen apartment at about 10:30 last night and was barely injured, cops said.

The first thing Alexander Mikhailov asked cops for when he got up: a drink.

“I don’t know how he survived it,” said a police source at the scene of the fall from the top of 527 W. 47th St.

It was broken by some “potted plants” on an elevated level of a building behind Mikhailov’s, the source said. He was taken to St. Vincent’s hospital in stable condition, officials said.

Consensus Emerges For A Padavan Law Revision — A Public Hearing Must Take Place When 3 Or 4 Churches Operate Within A 500-Foot Radius

You can’t win:

In a neighborhood where three or more drinking establishments per block is not all that unusual, E. Seventh St. between Avenues B and C doesn’t seem to be in that kind of spirit.

Instead of the usual assortment of drinking establishments, five religious institutions hold sway here, making it the kind of block that would most certainly give any cocktail hour devotee the shakes.

“It’s a blessing,” said Wilfred Moore, deacon of the Gethsemane Garden Baptist Church, at 223 E. Seventh St. “I don’t have a problem with the number of churches on this block because we’re outnumbered, anyhow.”

. . .

Not all the residents of E. Seventh St. sing the praises of this confluence of churches.

Joan Eddings, 21, confesses that she’d rather have more wining and dining establishments along the block and fewer Bible-toting neighbors.

“You’re walking along minding your business and someone’s always saying ‘God bless you,'” she griped. Eddings added that, “Some people think it’s a blessed block because of the churches, but it’s the realtors who own property here who are truly blessed.”

Another disgruntled block resident, Michael Shenker complained, “There used to be a beautiful garden where they built Gethsemane Garden Baptist Church, and we lost it. I’d prefer that we had kept that open space open rather than another church.”

Historic Stonewall Closes . . . Again

The second incarnation of Stonewall has closed:

Seventy-six years after the first bar of the same name was opened at 53 Christopher Street, the prospect looms that the historic site of the 1969 riot widely credited as the birth of the gay-rights movement might disappear.

And the neighborhood surrounding the block of Christopher Street just east of Sheridan Square (which has been ceremonially named Stonewall Place) is raising a glass to the Stonewall’s demise.

Born in infamy on a sultry summer night when a ragtag group of drag queens and gay hipsters started hurling bottles at the police who were raiding the bar, the Stonewall, neighbors say, remains riotous — at least for the now ultra-gentrified Greenwich Village.

“They promote these urban youth parties,” said Bill Morgan, the owner of the Duplex, a popular gay nightspot at the end of the block where Stonewall is situated. “They pushed out the regular gay clientele in favor of this new, urban, hip-hop, gangster clientele. Then you bring a bunch of 18-to-20-year-olds in the area who have no place to go and start goofing off and being loud. It’s disruptive to the neighborhood and brings in the wrong element in the neighborhood.”[*]

Others say that the bar’s owners co-opted the site’s history and ran the business into the ground:

Dominick Desimone took over the lease on the historic location, which hadn’t been a bar for nearly 20 years, in 1989, amid promises to return the bar to its former glory and create a fitting commemoration of its original character.

Many were dubious.

David Carter, the author of Stonewall: The Riots that Sparked the Gay Revolution, told the story of how he pointed out to the owner that the original flagstones of the bar’s most popular dance floor remained intact even 20 years after the bar had closed. The next time he walked by, the flagstones had been covered in what he described as “bathroom tile.”

“They were interested in exploiting the Stonewall name to make money,” Mr. Carter said. “They had no appreciation for the site itself. I think it was a purely money-making venture done under the guise of preserving and honoring history. This was a total fraud from the beginning.”

. . .

Mr. DeSimone, who is straight and was interviewed from a hotel in St. Lucia on Monday, defended himself and said that tight finances are just a reality.

“Think how many $6 drinks you have to sell to make up for $20,000 a month in rent,” he said.

But ask anyone at the bar, and they point fingers directly his way.

“There’s been terrible mismanagement,” said a bartender who goes only by “Tree” and who also served at the original Stonewall in the 60’s. “Dominick doesn’t know how to run a gay bar.”

*Update — Bill Morgan emails (8/30):

I want to set the record straight regarding the Stonewall Bar. I am in no way thrilled at the prospect of losing such an incredible landmark for both the West Village and the Gay community. I have nothing but empathy for any fellow businesses especially one of Stonewall’s stature. Losing Stonewall will actually hurt my business as Stonewall brings people to the neighborhood. The “reporter” from the observer not only paraphrased my sentiments from the 20 minute telephone interview he edited them together in a way that has very little in common with what I actually said. It’s as if
he had a bias in mind for the article and decided to tailor or fabricate statements to bolster his case. When he asked why I thought the Stonewall was failing I stated that I felt the owners had forsaken the history of the place and the hardcore regular clientele by bringing in the 18-20 year olds for the “detention parties” and the like. I did say that the crowds can be disruptive late at night as once they leave the Stonewall they have no other bar to go to because they are underage. So they hang out and make noise. That’s the nature of 18 year olds. I never said that the kids were “the wrong element” and I never said anything even remotely close to being happy at the prospect of losing such a historical establishment. The article this person wrote is not only misrepresentative of me but of the attitude of the community toward Stonewall. I hope Stonewall survives and prospers for years to come. As far as the Duplex is concerned – We are very proud of the diversity of our patrons and the diversity of our staff as well. As you may imagine I am sickened by the bigoted quotes that were attributed to me. I have written the reporter from the Observer, pointed out the inaccuracy of his article and requested that he set the record straight on his end.

Slow Trains To Astoria And The Bronx — You Don’t Say!

Don’t ever let them tell you that it doesn’t save time to board cars close to the stairwells because it does:

At 6:06 a.m. yesterday, 24 hours and 2 minutes after setting off on their quest to pass by all 468 subway stations, Dan Green and Donald Badaczewski pulled in to the end of the No. 6 line — a full hour faster than the record two other pals set in 1998.

“I feel satisfied, I feel tired, and I can’t think straight,” said a yawny Green, 26. “I just wanted to get the hell off of the train.”

First on the list of things to do was a bathroom break, followed closely by strong coffee.

After traveling all of the 230 miles covered by the train system in Manhattan, Brooklyn, the Bronx, and Queens, the new subway champions were greeted by Badaczewski’s girlfriend, Chris Kelly, and a bevy of TV cameras.

“I know this sounds really weird, but I’m so proud of them,” said Kelly, 24, who was waiting with a hug, balloons, and a sign proclaiming victory.

She also bore gifts of burritos and water for the weary champions.

Early in the evening before, the duo was running about 40 minutes behind schedule after boarding slow trains to Astoria and the Bronx.

But a few lucky late-night transfers and unexpected shuttle service to Bay Ridge had them back on track by 4 a.m.

After a sprint up the stairs at the Lexington Ave./53rd St. station to catch an uptown 4, the last leg of the journey had arrived. The pair transferred to a 6 at 125th St. and cruised into Pelham Bay Park before the sun came up.

Former college roommates, Green and Badaczewski, 24, planned their trip so meticulously as to know which train cars were closest to station staircases.

. . .

They aren’t planning on submitting their time to the Guinness Book of World Records, which only tracks a record for a person visiting each station.

But Michael Falsetta of the East Village, who did a similar ride in 25 hours 11 minutes with his college buddy eight years ago, conceded defeat.

“Even Babe Ruth’s record fell eventually,” said Falsetta.

See also: Will Records Fall?, But What If You’re The Sick Passenger?

Didn’t Anyone Pay Attention During Sex Ed?

It had something to do with something down there:

A report that a fetus had been found at a Queens golf course triggered a multi-agency search for the mother yesterday — a search that ended when officials determined that the discovery was in fact a sanitary napkin.

Employees at the Forest Park Golf Club called 911 just before 1 p.m. yesterday, prompting a level-one mobilization — the deployment of several dozen officers — to the public golf course in Woodhaven, police said. The discovery was initially reported by a golfer who was suspicious of something she found in the restroom, a spokeswoman for the Parks Department said. “Everyone thought it was a fetus,” a course employee said.

Before resolving the case, members of the police canine unit and a helicopter from the aviation unit joined officers in scouring the golf course for signs of a woman they believed abandoned the fetus. A duty inspector and a duty captain also reported to the scene, police said.

. . .

Three hours after it began, the search was cancelled when investigators determined the true nature of the golfer’s discovery. Without a case to investigate, police removed crime scene tape, the course manager, Robert Smith, said. “It was nothing,” he said.

Golf was not suspended during the investigation, Mr. Smith said.

Abandoned fetus? Play through!