The Question Is What Is 180 Seconds Worth?

Answer: about $20 million:

Five bus routes, one in each borough, will be part of a pilot program that will use special lanes, computer-controlled stoplights and other means to speed bus travel, in an effort to change the prevailing image of tortoiselike service.

. . .

The program is known as bus rapid transit, which may seem an oxymoron to people accustomed to buses that crawl rather than sprint through traffic.

The new souped-up service would replace current limited-stop buses on the five routes, but current local service would be retained, according to plans.

Stops would be spaced from one-half mile to a full mile apart. The bus lanes would be painted a special color, and the buses would get a distinctive paint job, to differentiate them from their pokier cousins. Cameras would be mounted on buses and bus stops to photograph trucks and cars blocking the bus lanes, so tickets could be sent to the vehicles’ owners.

To help speed buses along, on some of the routes they will have devices that transmit their location to a computer system that controls traffic lights: a green light could be kept on a few seconds longer, or a red light could turn green a few seconds earlier, to let the buses pass. At some bus stops, passengers would pay their fare at sidewalk turnstiles rather than on the bus, to make boarding faster.

For all that, the projected increases in speed are less than heart-stopping.

A report prepared for the city’s Transportation Department and the Metropolitan Transportation Authority estimated that the greatest time saving would come on the route along First and Second Avenues, where the new buses would run as much as 22 percent faster than the limited-stop bus service currently available. That means that if a trip on the current First Avenue limited bus takes 30 minutes now, it would take about 23 1/2 minutes on the new buses.

The smallest saving would be on a route that would run along Pelham Parkway and Fordham Road in the Bronx, where the projected difference was only 8 percent, according to the study. There, a trip that takes 30 minutes now would take about 27 1/2 minutes on the revamped buses.

The other buses are the Merrick Boulevard route in Queens, where buses would move an estimated 16 percent more quickly; the Nostrand Avenue route in Brooklyn, with an estimated time saving of 20 percent; and the Hylan Boulevard route in Staten Island that would run across the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge into Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, with the time saving estimated at 21 percent.

The transportation authority has earmarked $20 million for the program.

Buried in there is the novel and probably controversial concept of buses equipped with cameras to ticket scofflaws . . . can this work?

What, That’s Not Funny?

The question remains who would ever want to see Santa in an airplane, much less a Santa dressed in Yankees gear:

A new Yankee Christmas ornament sanctioned by Major League Baseball and bearing the team’s official logo features a beaming Santa waving — as he pilots a plane.

“My reaction at first was, ‘I don’t believe it,'” said Midtown lawyer Denis Guerin, who yesterday received glossy literature touting the “Yankees Victory Plane” — “a limited-edition annual holiday treasure” — in the mail.

Guerin shuddered as he recalled the horrific events that unfolded Oct. 11, when Yankee pitcher Cory Lidle was killed after crashing his small plane into an Upper East Side high-rise.

Guerin said he and his wife were “shocked and dismayed” again when they opened the mailing featuring the Yankee Santa in a plane. He said the plane appears to be “going into a Christmas tree.”

According to the advertisement, “The 2006 Annual Yankees Ornament makes the ideal gift for every New York fan on your Christmas list.”

“Your team spirit will soar” with the plane on your tree, it says.

“We looked at it with our mouths open and said, ‘How could this have happened?’ It’s very insensitive,” Guerin said.

“I don’t think it was intentional,” the season-ticket holder added. “It’s just a terrible mistake and terrible coincidence.”

2001 versions were going for big money on eBay as of yesterday . . .

I Guess It’s A Start . . .

The healthiest choice at a Bronx bodega? It’s a tough one:

All this week, nine western Bronx restaurants and five bodegas will be offering free samples of the healthiest dishes on their menus or shelves.

The bodegas, near schools, will offer samples of such healthy products as baked chips, low-fat milk and fruit. Organized by Bronx Health REACH and its sister program, Bronx Healthy Hearts, the Bronx Food Festival hopes to potato-chip away at the borough’s burgeoning beltline, with an estimated 27% of its residents considered obese.

We’ve got a long way to go when “baked chips” are one of the healthiest options . . .

NYPD Terror Drill: “More Information Is The Key”

The NYPD runs a terror-attack drill focused on schools:

During the early part of the exercise, the information from the Staten Island school is sketchy.

The narrator tells them the terrorists have grabbed an NYPD radio, allowing them to listen in on what cops are planning. And this forces police to think of alternate ways of communicating.

Then, the narrator tells them, the terrorists release a teacher, who reports that four of the attackers are wearing bulky black vests with wires protruding — and are growing increasingly agitated.

Some of the students manage to call their parents by cellphone, and panicking moms and dads gather at the school, he said.

Suddenly, a large explosion goes off on the roof. More shots are heard inside.

What should the cops do?

Members of the Technical Assistance Response Unit — known as the “Mission: Impossible” squad — wanted to place eavesdropping devices in the school so they could find out more about what was going on.

Finally, the attackers release their demands — they want terrorists jailed overseas to be freed or they’ll kill at least five of the hostages.

“Do we go in?” Browne asked.

Different ideas are suggested. Bomb Squad and hostage negotiators weigh in. More information, many agree, is the key.

One big concern was to not over-commit police resources — to one or both of the schools — as doing so might leave cops vulnerable should a third crisis erupt.

I’m hoping they’re a little more prepared than “we need more information” . . .

Manhattan: Borough Of Shoes

Enterprising bikini traffickers try their hardest to erase whatever culture remains in Manhattan:

Owners of the Hawaiian Tropic Zone, an 800-person-capacity restaurant that just opened on 49th Street, recruited ambitious women from pageant competitions across America as its first wave of bikini-clad employees. Those women have since been joined by 82 local waitresses.

The out-of-towners live in a dorm-like apartment on the Upper East Side — it’s “The Real World” meets “Gidget.”

“It is a great opportunity for me to get closer to my dreams of becoming a model,” said Jennifer Johnson, a 26-year-old who left her job teaching fourth grade in Dallas after winning the Miss Texas Hawaiian Tropic contest.

Her roommate and fellow Texan, Sarah Jo Lammers, a 24-year-old from Corpus Christi with a finance degree, bolted the business world to pursue a modeling dream here.

The Texans live with eight other recruits in two three-bedroom pads in an eight-story walkup on the Upper East Side owned by Dennis Riese, who owns the Hawaiian Tropic Zone with PM nightclub honcho Adam Hock.

Under the terms of their Hawaiian Tropic Zone deals, the models live rent free for six months, pay $200 for the seventh month, $400 the eighth and $600 a month until they leave. They also get discounted gym memberships and tanning, because they’re required to take part in both.

In return, they weave in and out between crowded tables as waitresses for the restaurant, welcoming guests, serving drinks and taking dinner orders while wearing Nicole Miller bikinis.

Every night is a beauty pageant. The waitresses strut their stuff twice a shift in front of the usual crowd of suit-clad bankers and brokers who quiet down and cast their paper ballots for the hottie they most admire.

The pageant winner gets a $100 bonus on top of $100 for each eight-hour shift and tips as high as $100 per table.

“I went out and bought shoes, which are everywhere in this city,” Johnson said, recalling a whopping gratuity from one admirer.