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Hey, Party Hosts — Buy A Mop, Why Don’t You?

It’s not so much that I’m worried that someone will steal my shoes but rather what if my socks stink . . . not that I’m speculating or anything:

A group of homeless people came in off the cold Manhattan streets Monday to feed their souls with a yoga class at an East Side shelter.

. . .

Her homeless students appeared apprehensive and some were reluctant to remove their shoes as the session of muscle stretching poses started. But by the end of the class, the five participants were peacefully chanting “Om” and most said they felt a calmness coursing through their weary bones.

Posted: December 23rd, 2008 | Filed under: Well, What Did You Expect?

How About We Settle On A (32)BJ Instead?

We know tipping doormen is stressful enough without all this economic meltdown stuff:

“I know tenants have money—in the past some have given me $400,” says one doorman* who works at a historic building on Park Avenue at 62nd Street. “The lowest tip is usually $20. But we’re preparing for tips to be even lower this year.” In an effort to generate larger gifts, staffers say they’re scurrying to deliver packages with a smile. But they’re also employing intimidation tactics.

“I’ve seen the doormen taking notes,” says a nervous 28-year-old writer who lives with her boyfriend on the UWS. She’s been lucky to hold on to her job, but she reports that the value of her investment portfolio has plummeted. “When people give them the envelope, they mark it down. When I moved into the building in 2005, I was planning to give $80 to the doorman, but I talked to someone else who lived here, who said she was giving $200, so I felt guilted into giving $100. I’m sure I give a lot less than others in the building, so when the staff doesn’t come quickly if I call down for help with deliveries, I fear it’s because I didn’t tip enough.”

She’s probably right. At a luxury building at Fifth Avenue and 60th Street, the shop steward says, “Anything under $50 is considered a bad tip. Some tenants give $20, a few give $400 and some don’t give at all—and I can tell you the staff treats [the nongivers] differently. If a bad-tipping tenant calls down for help, the doormen make them wait a little longer. The biggest tippers get the best service.” The doorman of a chichi co-op at Park Avenue and 55th Street says that while even chintzy tippers get bare-bones service, he’s developed tactics for exacting revenge: “Let’s say you pull up in a cab with a bunch of packages. Maybe I’ll just happen to be on the phone.”

Posted: December 22nd, 2008 | Filed under: Bah! Humbug!

The Power Of Slush

Alleged Sanitation truck sends wave of slush crashing into storefront, destroying front window:

First they heard a ferocious rumble coming down Jewett Avenue; then came the crash of glass and a spray of ice.

The force of a splash from what witnesses believe was an orange Sanitation truck barreling downhill toward Forest Avenue yesterday just before 10 a.m. destroyed the front of the tiny Port Richmond exercise studio.

Tragedy was only averted because the oversized cardboard sign in the window of Get in Gear at 513 Jewett Ave. blocked the half dozen people inside from the flying debris, and the lucky fact that nobody was outside when the giant wall of slush rose onto the sidewalk and slammed into storefronts, neighbors said.

“Glass came in; two of the women screamed,” said owner John Pepe, motioning to show how close he had been standing the window when it shattered.

By the time he ran outside to try and figure out what had happened, Pepe said the truck was already more than a block away: “He was going so fast, he probably did not even know what happened.”

Posted: December 22nd, 2008 | Filed under: Jerk Move, Staten Island, The Weather

From The Broken-Windows Theory Of Policing To The Faux Western-Facade Theory Of Policing . . .

As John Wayne once said, “Talk low, talk slow and don’t say too much”:

The NYPD is making an unusual move to ensure no one notices a decline in the number of cops on the streets — decking out the vehicles used by traffic-enforcement agents, auxiliary police and school-safety agents so they look like regular cruisers.

The move will be phased in slowly with the special units — who have typically used cars painted dark blue — to be given the white cars that are taken out of use from the main fleet.

The only difference will be in the decals affixed to the sides of the vehicles that indicate which unit they are from.

“This is to make this look like there are more cops on the street,” said a law-enforcement official familiar with the decision.

In all, there are about 100 cars used by the auxiliary wing of the department and 200 used by each of the school-safety and traffic-enforcement divisions.

Posted: December 22nd, 2008 | Filed under: Law & Order, You're Kidding, Right?

The Bigger Question Is Which Stores Would Accept Your Credit Card?

Things you don’t want to be caught doing while your father is under house arrest for bilking investors of billions include last-minute Christmas shopping:

Bernard Madoff’s investors have lost everything, but his son and daughter-in-law seemed without a care in the world yesterday as they dashed around SoHo on a holiday shopping spree.

Andrew Madoff, 42, who worked with brother Mark at their dad’s now-failed financial firm, still drives around in a BMW SUV to do his holiday shopping, loading up with purchases from J.Crew, Longchamp, Kidrobot and other tony stores in SoHo.

Andrew and wife Deborah, 41, who live on the Upper East Side, also shopped at American Eagle and a high-end lamp store, and checked out the windows at Vera Wang.

Posted: December 22nd, 2008 | Filed under: Follow The Money, Jerk Move, Things That Make You Go "Oy"
From The Broken-Windows Theory Of Policing To The Faux Western-Facade Theory Of Policing . . . »
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