Now If We Could Just Do Something About Tony Avella, Too

It almost makes up for his shameful sucking up to Scientologists . . . a firm stand to finally take care of our geese problem:

Geese have a new enemy: embattled state Sen. Hiram Monserrate.

The Queens Democrat and Sen. Eric Adams (D-Brooklyn) called on the Port Authority Monday to completely eradicate the threat of geese at area airports. The birds were blamed for last week’s US Airways crash.

The lawmakers said they would introduce legislation to force the PA to act if it doesn’t do so voluntarily.

The House That Ruth The Methamphetamine-Addicted Russian Prostitute Built

Another gentlemen’s club is reborn in the space formerly occupied by Scores:

“It’s like Yankee Stadium,” Antony, a security guard, said over his shoulder, leading the way through the thumping entrance of what used to be the original East Side location of Scores strip club.

Scores lost its battle with the state over its liquor license last year. Since then, the Las Vegas-based empire, Sapphire Gentlemen’s Club, has moved in, and last night was their official opening in New York.

Sapphire made sure to bring yards of neon sapphire blue back-lighting, a fluorescent, engraved pompadour-shaped ice-sculpture, plushier (much plush-ier, according to the dancers) leather chairs, new carpeting, a concierge service, and a new chef — Jayson Margulies from Robert’s Steak House at the Penthouse Executive Club.

Antony, like other security guards on Thursday night, wore a dark suit with an aquarium blue skinny-tie.

“Yankee Stadium,” he continued dreamily. “That’s what it’s like with this particular venue. This is the granddaddy of gentleman’s clubs, For years when I was growing up they were called strip bars or something else, some less politically correct kind of word, you know what I mean. But you walk in here and you are called ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am,’ and you get the white-glove treatment from the minute you walk in the door. That’s how this franchise does the thing.”

Sapphire’s main room looks largely identical to the old Scores, largely because there were no actual construction renovations done. The layout, too, is similar: bar to the left, mirrored wall and couches on the right, the stage front and center.

About A Half-Hour Later She Got The Next Text: “Cap’n Just Made First Ever Successful Emergency Landing In Body Of Water . . . LOL!”

Man, I bet this guy’s wife is pissed:

Nick Gamache, 32, a software salesman, had moments earlier sent his wife a text message that read, “Planes on fire love you and the kids,” so he was naturally in a hurry to update her. But he paused as the pilot told him to carefully step into the raft.

Canada And Geese: Two Great Targets In One

And now that Canadian Geese have attracted the attention of the Post editorial board, it’s a bad time to be one:

It’s time to kill the geese.

It’s especially time to kill those geese most likely to wreck another jet airliner, much as a gaggle of Canada geese seems to have brought down US Airways Flight 1549 Thursday.

This time, all 155 passengers and crew were lifted from the icy Hudson River — an extraordinarily exceptional outcome.

Next time? Who knows.

Canada geese are a serious threat to human life and property — not to mention a major pain to pedestrians, motorists and folks who just like to spread a picnic blanket in a park.

Obviously, the official cause of the crash won’t be declared for a while. But nobody doubts that it was what pilots call a “bird strike” — just as nobody doubts that the guilty birds were Canada geese.

That’s because Canada geese are everywhere — and they’re out of control.

. . .

Beyond airport vicinities, it’s even harder to tamper with geese (let alone kill them) — even as they coat parks and playgrounds everywhere in layers of disgusting goose poop.

This is unsightly, unsanitary — and totally unacceptable.

Something needs to be done.

Please, Don’t Wesley Autrey Him!

We have a way of chewing up our heroes with effusive mayoral proclamations, Letterman appearances, State of the Union speeches and boatloads of swag until they’re finally fleeced for all they’re worth by sycophants and hangers on.

That said, ABC News aviation consultant John Nance is looking like he’s lost a step or two and should probably think about making the way for someone with a little more cred:

After hero Capt. Chesley B. “Sully” Sullenberger III turned the Hudson from a river into a runway, his co-pilot beamed.

“No one has ever pulled this off,” Jeff Skiles said as they floated in a rescue boat, according to passenger Billy Campbell, 49. “You’ve done something amazing!”

Sullenberger did not seem all that impressed, Campbell told The Post.

But when Campbell thanked the pilot for saving their lives, he did say, “You’re welcome.”

Such humility is not surprising to friends and colleagues of the US Airways pilot.

NTSB board member Kitty Higgins said Thursday’s feat “has to go down the most successful ditching in aviation history.” But to Sullenberger and his brother pilots, it’s just another day’s work.