Shit Shovel Ready!

Let’s pass this stimulus soon. There’s a mayoral election this year, you know:

In a hearing at City Hall this afternoon about the impact of the federal stimulus bill on the city, the director of the Michael Bloomberg’s office of operations, Jeff Kay, was asked what role “if any” the New York City Council will play in putting together a list of projects.

“Um, it’s a good question,” he said.

He added that the mayor’s office has been discussing this issue with the City Council’s finance staff for some time. That isn’t enough for Councilwoman Letitia James, she made clear while questioning Kay during the hearing.

James — who has opposed the mayor several times, including on his extension of term limits — said she is afraid people not already allied with Bloomberg will not see projects in their districts funded.

“There are those who are not above retribution,” James said.

“Not one dollar of any of this money,” said Kay, “[will] be spent without releasing a list of projects it’s going to be spent on.”

Kay said the list could be released within two weeks of the president signing the bill. “I’ve been looking for this list for the last three weeks,” James replied.

The Great River To River Festival Bailout Of 2009

You can save teachers’ jobs, you can fix roofs in housing projects and you can weatherize homes. Oh, and you can also build a better live music venue next time Okkervil River comes to town:

A section of the House version of the bill provides $1.7 billion to address “critical deferred maintenance needs” within the nation’s park system.

The bill doesn’t specifically mention the big-bucks rehab, but Castle Clinton is on a list of “top priority” projects the feds want to fund, according to a House Appropriations Committee aide who reviewed an agency list.

The aide put the price tag at $5.6 million to begin the renovation of the fort as an outdoor music venue, based on information the administration provided.

Location Scout: The Battery.

The Thing About Questions Is, They Inevitably Lead To Answers

Questions including but not limited to “What exactly are you injecting in my ass?” for example:

Major League Baseball banned steroids in 1991, though it didn’t start testing players until 2003. It had long been illegal to use them without a doctor’s prescription.

Rodriguez was vague on how he obtained the drugs, but admitted he took them without asking many, if any, questions.

“Again, it was such a loosey-goosey era,” he said. “I’m guilty for a lot of things. I’m guilty for being negligent, naive, not asking all the right questions. To be quite honest, I don’t know exactly what substance I was guilty of using.”

Be Careful, His Bowtie Is Really A Camera . . . Actually, A Really Powerful 39 Megapixel DSLR

And “Monopole” is not the B-side of some obscure grunge 7″ circa 1989:

It looks like a grand patriotic gesture on the part of one of Staten Island’s best-known Realtors: Flying a huge American flag, albeit atop a bulky-looking 90-foot pole, behind the Neuhaus Realty office in Richmond.

But it’s not your typical flagpole: It houses sensitive and essential communications technology recently put in place by the federal government in direct response to 9/11.

The “monopole” was erected under the auspices of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security by private aerospace and defense technology contractor Northrup Grumman with the OK of the city’s Department of Information Technology and Telecommunications (DOITT), confirmed the city and Northrup Grumman.

Its underlying purpose: To enhance the city’s wireless communication network and aid first-responders in case of an emergency, as part of a $500 million five-year effort by city government.

What’s more, the fake flagpole in Richmond is one of four monopoles that have been constructed in the borough — with more on the way.

Because of security considerations, the city won’t divulge where the others are.

A similar-looking one, on Capodanno Boulevard in Midland Beach, erected in 2005, “isn’t ours,” a source in city government said. At the time, the Advance reported it was a cell phone tower.

Hey, Harrison Ford — How About Instead Of Fussing With That Dopey Zipline At The End Of Air Force One, You Take A Look At What Real Pros Do?

One of the more awesome Sully quotes:

“I had this expectation that my career would be one in which I didn’t crash an airplane.”

Elsewhere, how to ditch a plane into a body of water, just in case you ever find yourself in that position:

He said he knew the plane was in trouble when he heard birds hit the engines and he knew the landing had to be perfect in several ways, he said. “I needed to touch down with the wings exactly level,” he said. “I needed to touch down with the nose slightly up. I needed to touch down at a — at a descent rate that was survivable. And I needed to touch down just above our minimum flying speed, but not below it. And I needed to make all these things happen simultaneously.”