I’ll Take Grandstanding Up-And-Comers For $1000, Alex

It’s not his inability to budget or his perennial up-and-coming status (incidentally, what do you call it when you were once up and coming but never got there — “the downstalling of an up-and-comer”?) but rather the Jeopardy questions:

A Queens City Councilmember recently found himself as one of the clues on the popular game show “Jeopardy!” and a day later the clue resonated in a real-life example.

The Jeopardy clue, “New York City Councilman Eric Gioia says 10 U.N. Missions owe the city $8 million in these.”

“What is parking tickets,” buzzed in a contestant with the correct answer for $1,200.

For years, Gioia has been a fervent voice in the movement to collect outstanding parking tickets and property taxes owed to the city.

“For a kid from Queens who used to watch “Jeopardy!” on TV with my parents in Woodside this was quite a thrill,” Gioia said. “We’ve got to find creative ways for the city raise and save money in tough economic times, so it’s especially important that the city collect on diplomats who owe the city millions in parking tickets and taxes. I’m happy Alex Trebek realized it too.”

Over The Course Of His Wise, Wise 50 Years On The Earth, Adam Gopnik May Have Totally Internalized The Salinger-Like Curiosity Of The Museum Of Natural History Or Fully Appreciated The Timelessness Of The Lancome Ad In The Centerpages Of Every Broadway Playbill But He Will Never Experience The True Ecstasy Of The Cross-Bronx At Rush Hour . . . Sad, Really . . .

Oh my god . . . Adam Gopnik actually sounds like the way he writes:

Shameful confession: I have never driven a car and, ever-longer odds are now, never will. On summer holidays I sit beside my wife, trying to look like a man who had his license suspended for compulsive, if entertaining, speeding. How this came about is a long story, involving a life spent only in city blocks and city flats and city sneakers, not to mention a bad case of odd wiring and jumpy coordination.

He Even Returns Library Books!

OK, this whole “Hey, I try to be a good guy” thing has gone too far:

Fresno State officials were stunned when Sullenberger wrote them a letter, asking for a waiver on the book lost when he saved crippled US Airways 1549 on Jan. 15.

We Are All Charles G. Hogg Now

He’s biting what we’re thinking . . . free Staten Island Chuck:

Is there redemption after public disgrace? Say you didn’t pay your taxes. Or you were too tight with the lobbyists. Or maybe you bit the mayor.

Redemption? Not for Charles G. Hogg, a k a Chuck, the mayor-biting groundhog at the Staten Island Zoo.

First — on Groundhog Day, no less — Chuck botched the biggest photo opportunity of his not-quite-3-year-old life. He chomped on Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg’s index finger.

That raised a question for follow-up: Would Tuesday’s Chuck be any kinder or gentler?

So the zookeepers trotted him out for another photo op. Only one camera and two reporters showed up this time.

That word “trotted” is a problem. It suggests politeness. It suggests civility. It suggests everything that Chuck was not as he went rampaging across the stage in the zoo’s auditorium, knocking over a prop-size statue of a giraffe.

Then one of the photographers put a photograph of Mr. Bloomberg where Chuck could not miss it. Chuck rubbed his lips on the corner of the picture frame. He was not making nice — it looked as if he had bared his teeth. But the mayor should not take this personally. Chuck did the same to everything he rubbed up against before he jumped off the stage and waddled around the auditorium for a victory lap, Chuck style.

. . .

By Tuesday [. . .] John J. Caltabiano, the executive director of the zoo, had the one-liners ready. One, inevitably, was about biting the hand that feeds you. The city provides as much as half of the zoo’s budget, Mr. Caltabiano said, and the city is cutting its share by 17 percent in the coming fiscal year.

Mr. Caltabiano is well aware that the mayor has survived past Groundhog Days without injury. In his office is a framed photograph of the mayor holding a groundhog in February 2006.

But the groundhog in the picture was Chuck’s father. Eight groundhogs have played the role of Chuck in the last 27 years. Monday was the first time that Mr. Bloomberg had handled the current Chuck, who is apparently feistier than his father was.

It might have been the last time, too. Mr. Caltabiano said that he was working on breeding Chuck VIII and would retire him if there was a Chuck IX by next Groundhog Day.

Fans Of NL East Rivals Disappointed At Prospect Of Losing One More Thing To Rag On The Mets About

After all, even the Astros quickly abandoned “Enron Field” back in 2002:

Citigroup Inc. may be suffering buyer’s remorse over its pricey naming rights deal for the Mets’ brand new stadium in Queens.

It’s a $400 dollar, 20-year marketing deal between the Mets and Citigroup, and according to Tuesday morning’s Wall Street Journal, officials at the troubled banking institution are exploring the possibility of backing out of the agreement, which includes naming the new baseball stadium after the bank.

In a statement, Citigroup said “no TARP capital will be used for the stadium,” referring to government funds from the Troubled Asset Relief Program, but Citigroup, which has lost $28 billion since 2007, is now acknowledging that the so called volatile political climate may not make this the best time to name a stadium after the bank.

Citigroup has received $45 billion in bailout help from the feds and another $300 billion in loan guarantees.

Tuesday morning’s report comes days after two outraged congressman wrote the Treasury Secretary, asking him to push Citigroup to dissolve the Mets deal.

Location Scout: Citi Field.