On The One Hand, He’s Like A Human Stimulus Package

On the other hand it’s like, alright, alright, we get it already:

Six months before the election, Michael R. Bloomberg has already outspent his leading rival in the mayor’s race by a seven-to-one ratio, despite a commanding lead in the polls.

With a fresh wave of television and radio commercials, the mayor has poured $7.5 million into the campaign so far, according to new records obtained by The New York Times.

. . .

Mr. Bloomberg, a billionaire, has now spent more than the city’s campaign finance laws allow Mr. Thompson — or any other challenger accepting public financing — to use in the race from now until the September primaries.

Mr. Bloomberg is not accepting public financing, and therefore faces no spending limit.

Mayor Bloomberg: Unsafe For Children

Maybe he meant Mike Huckabee*:

At a press conference in the Bronx to announce the opening of a new Home Depot store, Michael Bloomberg was [p]resented with the company’s trademark orange apron, but declined to put on a pair of safety goggles, saying, “The last guy to put on a pair was Dukakis.” (Close enough?)

Bloomberg was offered the goggles by a Home Depot manager as the mayor and other officials used a small electric saw to cut a piece of wood (the Home Depot version of a ribbon-cutting ceremony).

*As in. Because he certainly didn’t mean President Obama, who looks cool in his safety goggles. (Then again, candidates refusing to compromise their coolness by taking proper safety precautions seems to have a long history.)

[Insert Quippy, Perhaps Pun-Filled “Headline” Here]

[Introduce link here, perhaps by rewriting lede in stylish, snarky fashion]:

For the adult kickball teams battling it out in front of Public School 142 on the lower East Side this week, the game is about bonding with friends new and old, getting some open air exercise and reliving long-forgotten schoolyard exploits.

. . .

“It makes you feel like you are 10 years old,” said Ryan Stuczynski, 27, a banker and kickball player who also moonlights as a paid umpire for the league. He says the players take the game pretty seriously, even though they are on a playground.

“People are pretty adamant,” he said. “I try to run down the line and show everyone that I am into it, too.”

For Starters, You Can While Away The Time Until Your Turn Comes To See Either Dr. Degel By Watching An Old Movie On A Video Cassette Player In The Waiting Room

“Dentistry Duo Delivers Quality Care On Astoria’s Broadway”:

It used to be you would go to visit your dentist with some trepidation about the pain you would have to endure. You would sit in the waiting room bored, staring into space, dozing, or reading last year’s magazines.

The status quo may exist for some dentists who haven’t kept pace with all the technological advances of recent years, but that’s not the case when you keep an appointment with Dr. Clifford Degel and/or Dr. Carmen Every-Degel, the husband and-wife dental team that operates the Astoria Dental Group office at 32-17 Broadway in Astoria.

For starters, you can while away the time until your turn comes to see either Dr. Degel by watching an old movie on a video cassette player in the waiting room.

“We show lots of old comedy classics like the ‘Honeymooners’ or Abbott and Costello to get the patients in a good frame of mind,” Dr. Clifford Degel told us during a recent interview.

If you’re not in the mood for a comedy or other movie, you can play one of several tapes that explain one of the newer treatments or techniques that are available in this new age of dental wizardry where the Drs. Degel are among the practitioners.

*

You Only Got $60,000 Out Of It? The Entire Network Is One Big Commercial!

The only difficult thing about rerunning a bunch of city council meetings is that there isn’t that much advertising revenue to skim from. But at least the production quality was raised.