I Scream, You Scream . . .

. . . we all scream, “Hey, jackass, move your freakin’ truck before I bash your head in with an oversized wrench”:

The man in the Mister Softee truck stuck his head out the window and glared at the fellow in the white cap and black bow tie.

The guy in the bow tie grimaced back as he rang the bell on his Good Humor truck, whose bumper sat inches from Mister Softee’s.

“Ching ching ching.”

“This is open turf,” said Jose Martinez, 52, the Good Humor man, yanking at the bell.

Summer is more than a month away, but the ice cream wars have already begun. In neighborhoods across the city, skirmishes are breaking out over which franchise can sell its wares on which route. And the tension between the city’s purveyors of ice-cold treats can at times be thicker than a Chipwich.

There have been harsh words, hurt feelings and even bloodshed between competitors. In 2004, a couple in their 60s who owned and operated two ice cream trucks were ambushed in the Bronx and beaten with an oversized wrench. The motive, the police said, was the couple’s ice cream route. A rival ice cream salesman was charged with assault and sentenced to 10 years in prison.

While disputes between drivers of ice cream trucks rarely become that violent, they can be cutthroat.

(That last line is the mixed metaphor of the day.)

This could only mean one thing — the return of the Good Humor man, which some don’t find funny:

On Tuesday afternoon, new battle lines were drawn on the Upper West Side at the corner of Columbus Avenue and 83rd Street, where Ceasar Ruiz, 50, the Mister Softee man, said he had been selling ice cream without any competition for more than eight years.

He said his routine was the same every season. He arrives at the corner by about 2:30 each afternoon, mostly to catch the students getting out of Public School 9 and the Anderson School, just a few yards from the corner. He stays for about an hour and a half, then moves to his next location, he said.

But Tuesday afternoon was different. When he arrived, there sat the freshly painted Good Humor truck and Mr. Martinez, decked out in a crisp uniform, ringing his bell.

“I sell Good Humor, too,” Mr. Ruiz said. “But his is more cheap. I sell bar for $2. He might sell for $1.50. Not good. Not good.”

. . .

Good Humor trucks all but disappeared from the New York streets 30 years ago. In 1977, the Good Humor company shut down its street vendor operation, opting for supermarket freezers, said Robert Pinnisi, who helped restore Mr. Martinez’s truck. But the company gave drivers the option of being independent contractors. Mr. Pinnisi said he knew of only one other Good Humor truck operating in New York City, and one in Mount Vernon.

See also: The heretofore unchallenged Mister Softee juggernaut.

When Thousands Of New Jerseyites Start Flooding Into Queens On Weekend Evenings We Can Talk . . .

. . . but until then, please just give these people a stupid beer/wine license already:

Long Island City activists are opposing a popular restaurant’s application for a beer and wine license, fearing alcohol will only add to the troubles they say the eatery has brought to the neighborhood.

Residents said Blend LIC has been a bad neighbor, and accused its management of repeatedly lying to the community about its intentions.

Blend’s management “don’t want a restaurant that co-exists peacefully with the neighborhood,” said resident Tim Lee, a 48-year-old photographer.

“There’s a big difference between a restaurant that serves liquor and a place that’s positioning itself as a bar stop.”

Blend, which bills itself as a Latin fusion restaurant, had its initial application for a liquor license rejected by the State Liquor Authority in November 2006.

Now the restaurant’s owner, Cullen Partners, is preparing to ask Queens Community Board 2 for a beer and wine license.

“The opening of their rear garden would surround our building with noise,” said Tim Doocey, 38, another concerned neighbor.

. . .

“There’s a saturation of bars and restaurants” in Long Island City, said Community Board 2 Chairman Joe Conley. “People are saying enough is enough.”

In a 2006 letter to Cullen Partners, Conley wrote: “Please be advised we have already spoken in a loud and unambiguous voice on this issue and are unlikely to reconsider the decision” in regard to a new license.

Charles Linn, attorney for Cullen Partners, declined to comment and added that no one at Blend would be available for further comment.

The original disapproval states the “application information was misrepresented by the applicant” and that the applicant “submitted an application with misleading information.”

Doocey, a communications consultant, added, “We’re not anti-business. We’re not even anti-bar. But the next thing you know, Vernon Blvd. will become a mess like the lower East Side.”

Boston Derangement Syndrome

Super Bowl wins aside, New York seems to be dangerously close to developing the kind of unbecoming inferiority complex usually reserved for second-tier cities like . . . well, Boston, for example:

In Times Square and across the New York region, screaming fans jammed bars and after the Giants beat the New England Patriots, 17-14, in dramatic fashion in Super Bowl XLII, boisterous throngs filled the streets. The police deployed squad cars and mounted patrols to keep the exuberance under control across the city.

“Everybody’s a Giants fan tonight,” said John Johnson, 55, a native Floridian who ran out of the Millennium Hotel in Midtown with a double Crown Royal, neat, still in hand. “We knew there was going to be pandemonium, and we wanted to be a part of it.”

Scores of sports fans stampeded Times Square from neighboring hotels and restaurants, lining the intersection of 43rd Street and Broadway and Seventh Avenue. Officers on horseback yelled into megaphones, “Please do not block the crosswalk,” as they struggled to hold back the raucous, quickly forming crowd, which eventually stretched back four blocks.

. . .

One Sunnyside resident, Luis Pinzon, 27, was overcome with joy. “We finally beat Boston,” he said, wearing a Lawrence Taylor jersey. “That’s all I care about. We finally beat ’em. Not Boston. Undefeated Boston,” he said with vindictive relish. “That’s who we beat. As long as they won, I don’t care if the Yankees lose to the Red Sox for the next five years. I’m not going to complain. That’s enough. I’ll give my first-born child to — to — to whomever.”

Mr. Pinzon’s wife, Sonia Pinzon, 26, said she was trying to be supportive, but giving up a child was where she drew the line. “I don’t think so,” she said.

No Neighborhood Is An Island, Though Greenwich Village Tries

After being strong-armed out of Greenwich Village, NYU begins to look for other places to colonize:

New York University wants to build a 1-million-square-foot campus on Governors Island, school officials said yesterday.

The NYU plan would call for a mix of student and faculty housing and space for academic programs, officials said. It’s part of a 25-year, 6-million-square-foot expansion plan that also targets other parts of the Big Apple, including Downtown Brooklyn.

“NYU sees the potential of Governors Island as a place where we can grow,” said NYU spokesman John Beckman.

The state-city Governors Island Preservation and Education Corporation says the university is a good fit, but the agency has yet to determine when it will seek proposals from prospective tenants.

Not Only Is Macedonia Greek . . .

. . . but so is Astoria:

A growing number of college students are uniting online to rescue Astoria’s famous Greek culture from “guitar-playing hipsters” they charge are ruining the increasingly artsy neighborhood.

Formed a few weeks ago on the social networking site Facebook, the Save Astoria group urges members — about 150 as of late Thursday — to prevent the hipsters from turning churches and cafes into “wasteful art exhibits.”

Its five organizers, all former or current students at Fordham University, note Greeks’ history of banding together and becoming “a formidable force” during tough times. They ask followers to support only Greek businesses.

“Invite all your friends and bring public attention to this issue before it is too late!” plead the group leaders, who didn’t return e-mails and phone calls seeking comment.

“I guess they have a problem with people who go out and free ourselves with our music,” snarled David Guevara, 18, of Astoria, who sings and plays guitar in a rock band.

. . .

For Jared Koeppel, manager of the Guitar Center at Northern Blvd. and 48th St., the emergence of a hipster base in Astoria has been a godsend.

“I wish that there were more. I don’t think there are enough,” said Koeppel, 30. “We sell more classical guitars than pretty much any store in the world.”