The Only Arithmetic He Ever Got Was Hearing The Referee Count Up To Ten

Local 100 of the Transport Workers Union is engaged in a meaningful and constructive debate with itself as the organization develops its latest negotiating position:

A burly transit union dissident has been charged with beating a union staffer aligned with Transport Workers Union Local 100 President Roger Toussaint, the Daily News has learned.

“This is a message for Toussaint,” assault suspect Christopher Magwood, 46, allegedly told victim James Mahoney during the incident at a Manhattan bus depot, Mahoney said yesterday.

Magwood — who is about 6-feet-3 and weighs around 300 pounds — was arrested this month on misdemeanor assault and harassment charges, Manhattan prosecutors confirmed yesterday.

He is a bus driver who sits on Local 100’s executive board. But Magwood has ties to a previous administration that lost power when Toussaint was elected, and he regularly opposes the union boss.

Mahoney — about 5-feet-5 and 180 pounds — works on retiree issues for Toussaint and organized protests leading up to last month’s illegal three-day transit strike.

The alleged TWU smackdown is among the topics the executive board is expected to discuss today at its first meeting since workers rejected a tentative contract deal by just seven votes this month.

The contract’s rejection highlighted dissent in the union, which has a history of tumultuous politics.

Mahoney, 56, was at the Quill Depot in Hell’s Kitchen on Nov. 15 to organize bus workers when, he said, he was attacked by a “ranting and raving” Magwood.

The bus driver shoved Mahoney’s head against the wall of an elevator, according to a criminal complaint.

“It hurt like hell,” Mahoney said yesterday.

Mahoney said he suffered bruises to his face and still has neck pain.

(Gratuitous On The Waterfront reference poached from here.)

From The Absurd To The Equally Absurd

Yesterday the Daily News reported about the $150,000 Valentine’s Day extravaganza. Today, they highlight the White Castle Valentine’s Day special:

White Castle wants couples who love little burgers as much as each other to share Valentine’s Day romance over a bag of belly bombs. They’re even taking reservations.

“Some people come for a laugh, but most have a story to tell about their first date at a White Castle, or maybe they went there after the prom,” said Kelly Collins, a marketing supervisor for the chain, who said in other cities some dates arrive blindfolded or in limos.

Next month, the fast-food chain famous for its bite-size burgers will offer a Valentine’s Day experience – a far cry from the $150,000 extravaganza offered by the Buckingham Hotel in midtown that was profiled in yesterday’s Daily News.

That romantic getaway featured a private jet, penthouse suite, Nobu dinner, champagne and a Fifth Avenue shopping spree. But V-Day at White Castle means 49-cent hamburgers you can buy by the sack.

Canoodling couples will arrive at the franchise of their choosing – 48 in the New York area are participating in the promotion – and be greeted at the door by a hostess dressed to the nines, instead of in the usual White Castle uniform.

The lovers will then be escorted to their cloth-covered, candlelit table as romantic music is piped in.

“People love this,” said Collins.

Well, maybe not everyone.

“I wouldn’t dump him but I would laugh and say, ‘Let’s leave,'” said Edie Sherman, 26, who has been with her boyfriend for seven years.

“I wouldn’t dare for Valentine’s Day. Any other day, I would, but not Valentine’s Day,” said Mike Mazzeo, 20, who has been dating for five months. “What would she tell her girlfriends?”

My Name Is Luka And Those Who Are Ostensibly Here To Protect Me Honestly Believe Standardized Tests Amount To A Form Of Child Abuse

When standardized tests are really cooking, they are exactly like child abuse:

City seventh-graders who took high-stakes state exams yesterday were stumped when several questions in their test booklets failed to match the answer key.

Five of the multiple-choice questions on the reading test asked students to select the answer from options A, B, C or D. But when the 65,000 kids went to darken the bubbles on their answer sheets, the only options were F, G, H or J.

The error confused many already stressed-out kids and infuriated teachers.

“How did this get through?” said a Brooklyn teacher, who asked not to be named. “It’s really unfair to the children who have to take this test.”

Anti-testing advocates said the screwup was yet another example of why the exams should not be used to evaluate children’s performance in school.

“This is child abuse,” said Jane Hirschmann of Time Out from Testing, who demanded the test results be scrapped. “These tests are deeply flawed.”

See also: Time Out From Testing.org