Congestion Problem Solved

With a steady stream of income, to boot — maybe the money raised from parking tickets can go to mass transit improvements:

A crackdown by the NYPD on illegally parked cars with city, state and federal placards on their dashboards resulted in 178 tickets — along with the arrest of a retired sergeant for having a fake on his dashboard, The Post has learned.

Teams of Internal Affairs Bureau cops swept through lower Manhattan and around government and courthouse hubs in the outer boroughs last week, targeting illegally parked government cars blocking crosswalks, bus stops and loading zones.

Twenty of the ticketed cars were towed to pounds, where one owner — the ex-cop — was charged with possession of a “forged instrument,” a misdemeanor, when he showed up to reclaim his vehicle.

His placard was a bogus Department of Homeland Security duplicate and he was given a desk-appearance ticket, officials said, declining to reveal his identity.

“Regardless of what they were using the placard for, the vehicles were illegally parking, even with the placards in their windows,” said Deputy Commissioner Paul Browne, the NYPD spokesman.

“The placard does not allow for double-parking, parking in front of hydrants, blocking bus stops, and the like. It still does not give you carte blanche.”

The four-day crackdown — from Tuesday, April 1, through Friday — was prompted by constant complaints from motorists and pedestrians that cars abusing their placard privileges were double-parking or using spots where they were not permitted and clogging streets.

Forty-eight of the ticketed cars belonged to the NYPD, with cops abusing either their personal placards or precinct permits. Six cop cars were towed.

The FDNY was also hit in the blitz. Three of its cars with “official” placards were ticketed. Another four FDNY cars, bearing “union” placards, were ticketed, and one of those was towed.

Perfect — I Already Gave Up “Danny Boy” For Lent . . .

Some establishments ban cell phones, while others must crack down on “Danny Boy”:

A Manhattan pub owner is banning the St. Patrick’s Day standard from his bar for the entire month of March.

“St. Patrick’s Day is supposed to be a happy day. Do we have to sing a song that says, ‘Come and visit me when I’m dead’?” griped Shaun Clancy, owner of Foley’s Pub & Restaurant on W. 33rd St. near Fifth Ave.

Clancy, who grew up in Ireland, is so tired of hearing “Danny Boy” he’d like to see it hushed from glen to glen.

“There is more to Ireland than ‘Danny Boy’ and Lucky Charms,” Clancy said.

Clancy is offering a free Guinness to patrons who sing any other traditional Irish tune at the pub’s March 11 pre-St. Patrick’s Day bash. He also will give out surprise gifts to patrons who refrain from singing the song throughout this month during the pub’s regular Tuesday night karaoke events.

“It’s overplayed,” Clancy, 38, said of the song written in 1910 by English lawyer Frederick Weatherly, who had never even visited the Emerald Isle.

“It’s been ranked among the 25 most depressing songs of all time,” Clancy said.

It’s Finally Time To Maim The Duck . . .

. . . because this means that we officially no longer have to pay attention to Bloomberg.

Faster Vintage!

Plans to bring Italian varietals to Staten Island are progressing:

The 2-acre Tuscan Garden Vineyard Project will be planted on a Snug Harbor hilltop by spring 2009, officials said yesterday.

“We’ll be creating, I’m sure, a serious wine,” declared winemaker Piergiorgio Castellani Jr., co-owner of Italy’s Castellani Wines.

The Italian winery, near Pisa — as in leaning tower of — produces 18 million bottles of wine annually.

Castellani estimated the 2,000-vine organic plot planned for the Staten Island Botanical Garden will produce as much as 7,000 bottles a year. The vineyard is to complement the Tuscan Garden Villa at the botanic garden.

. . .

Because the three types of grapes — merlot, cabernet sauvignon and sangiovese — he intends to plant will be the same as those used in his “Super Tuscan” wines, Castellani offered up a name for the Staten Island label.

“We will produce not a Tuscan wine,” Castellani said, “but a Super Staten Island Red.”

At the risk of sounding hypocritical, this absolutely beats the pants off tropical fish tanks:

Borough President James Molinaro, who has committed $2 million in taxpayer money to the project, said the vineyard will draw visitors.

“This is part of branding Staten Island,” Molinaro said, adding that 38% of Staten Islanders are Italian-American.

Bad news:

The wine — a name has not yet been chosen — will not be sold commercially but will go to tourists and could be served at government functions.

Which is to say, start contributing to the Borough President’s reelection campaign now. (And it’s never too early to pitch Talk of the Town.)

Preventer San Man

One thing you don’t expect after robbing a bank is getting cockblocked by a garbage truck:

Frank Russo and Patrick Crocitto were emptying baskets along Clove Road in Sunnyside just before 12:30 p.m. when they spotted a man running out of Clove Lakes Wines & Liquors at 1300 Clove, chasing a bandit and waving his arms, yelling “Robbery! Robbery!”

The Sanitation workers followed the two men in their garbage truck along Genesee Street to Seneca Avenue, where they used the truck to block the robber’s path.

Police identified the stickup man as Richard DiToro, 24, who lives with his parents on Mada Avenue in West Brighton.

Then, Russo and Crocitto, who was wielding a shovel, chased DiToro, who fell at one point during the pursuit, and threw the bag of money he had stolen, which was recovered by the store owner, Chung Lee.

Russo, a nine-year veteran of the department, caught DiToro and pinned him against a car.