D’oh!

The problem with Eliot Spitzer’s plan to score political points by going after the rich and powerful is that they’re rich and powerful:

Two of Eliot Spitzer’s major enemies — former New York Stock Exchange honcho Ken Langone and billionaire Tom Golisano — huddled last week in Florida to discuss a multimillion-dollar effort to thwart the Democratic front-runner’s charge for the governor’s office, sources told The Post yesterday.

The sit-down between Langone and Golisano, who ran unsuccessfully for governor on the Independence Party line in 2002, took place in Naples, Fla., on Monday.

Sources familiar with the powwow said Langone wanted to feel out Golisano about launching a well-funded independent political group that could do things like an “issues-based” ad campaign.

Millions of dollars could be spent focusing critically on Spitzer’s record as state attorney general.

“He’s looking for about $5 million from Tom,” said one source, saying Langone is trying to see if he can cobble together a string of large donations. “[Golisano] is considering it.”

. . .

Langone has been targeting Spitzer’s run for governor for months. Langone, a former NYSE board member, is a co-defendant in a suit brought by Spitzer’s office against former stock exchange head Dick Grasso.

Langone has been actively raising money for Spitzer’s primary opponent, Nassau County Executive Tom Suozzi, and according to sources is looking for any way possible to damage the attorney general during the campaign.

And Golisano is said to be angry with Spitzer for promising last year to bulldoze over him if Golisano decided to throw his hat in the ring for governor.

Ironic Shilling: So Unappetizing You Wouldn’t Ever Want To Read About It!

Just when you think the Queens weeklies are fun to read, one of them starts shilling for medical equipment — which is fine, of course — just as long as it’s not in a story titled “Queens Docs Bring Calm To Heavy Flow.” I mean, I’m not squeamish, but this is no Burma Shave, either:

Throughout Joann Sisti’s life, the 49-year-old Hollis Hills woman’s menstrual cycle never gave her much trouble. While her friends would complain about heavy cycles and PMS symptoms she would go on with her monthly routine without even a hint of a cramp.

In December 2004 everything changed though. Her menstrual flow was heavier than it had ever been and all those complaints she had heard over the years were now coming from her mouth.

Sisti had failed to get her period for four months and assumed she was simply entering menopause, ending her cycle altogether. Then the bleeding began. She experienced large blood clots that even made it difficult to walk any distance.

“I thought I was bleeding to death,” Sisti said.

Concerned the bleeding could be the result of something more than missing her period for four months, Sisti saw the director of obstetrics/gynecology at North Shore University Hospital, Dr. Claudia Ravins, in Forest Hills who performed a biopsy of her endometrium and confirmed there was no sign of cancer. It was then, though, that Ravins noticed Sisti had a very think endometrium and recommended a procedure that would transform her life back to normal.

Through a procedure with NovaSure, a next-generation endometrial ablation device, a doctor was able to permanently destroy the uterine lining that produces menstrual bleeding using precisely measured radio frequency energy, instead of opting for an invasive procedure such as a hysterectomy, which often carries major hormonal issues.

. . .

For the 10 million women across the country who suffer from excessive menstrual bleeding, also known as menorrhagia, Ravin said NovaSure is the best alternative to a hysterectomy, a common invasive and risky surgical procedure — that many women undergo each year.

They Smell A Rat

Completely unrelated to the Gotti trial:

Thousands arrive each day at the main information booth under the clock in Grand Central Terminal seeking information about arrivals and departures. For one rodent, the booth offered only a departure.

A rat or mouse has apparently died within or around the center interior walls of the booth, a lead customer service representative supervisor at the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, Ernest Slaughter, said. “We’re looking for him. It stinks.”

The rodent died under a canopy of stars, below a famous indoor zodiac. Perhaps Orion the Hunter could descend from the constellation above and lend a hand in searching for a possible carcass. Perhaps the military inside the building could call on the Army Corps of Engineers to help.

A customer service representative who took over from Mr. Slaughter in a rotation and gave only his first name, John, said the animal had perhaps already been found. Another MTA employee, who declined to give his name, said while walking from the area, “We can smell him. We can’t find him.”

That Ultimately Fruitless Strike Pays Off

Striking MTA workers will start having their pay docked without even having a new contract:

The MTA will start docking workers’ pay next week as punishment for their three-day strike in December, Metropolitan Transportation Authority spokesman Tom Kelly said.

The walkout, which the union contends was provoked during ultimately fruitless negotiations, was a violation of the state Taylor Law. Workers were not paid for their days on the picket lines. Now another three days of earnings will be deducted from two paychecks — one coming on March 23 and the other issued two weeks later, Kelly said.

“They staged an illegal strike, and this is part of the penalty,” Kelly said, adding that workers should give up any hopes the penalty will be waived.

“It [the deduction] will happen,” Kelly said.

You Mean Cops Are As Corrupt As That Denzel Washington-Ethan Hawke Vehicle Would Have Us Believe?

Two NYPD officers are accused of taking bribes to protect a Flushing brothel:

They looked the other way, the officials said, while a brothel took in more than $1 million a year from customers who streamed in from shiny late-model cars double-parked outside.

Inside the stucco and brick building, across the street from a cemetery, 16 women, many of whom officials believe paid thousands to come to the United States from South Korea and China, worked as prostitutes behind windows obscured by pink or maroon satin fabric. But the two officers did not take much money: one accepted just several hundred dollars, the other the discounted services of the house, according to court papers.

And they did more than just look away. Prosecutors charge that they helped shut down the brothel’s competitors, essentially using the information they had gleaned in their illicit relationship with one criminal enterprise to burnish their reputations as policemen by working to shut down others.

The Post, on the other hand, obliquely notes that the policemen may have been earning much more than ten-percent-off sex:

wo corrupt Queens cops — once lauded by a smiling Police Commissioner Ray Kelly for their aggressive prostitution crackdowns — were arrested for protecting a brothel that raked in $4,000 a day, officials said yesterday.

In return, Officers Dennis Kim and Jerry Svoronos got free drinks, discount sex and pocket money from Flushing cathouse owners Geeho Chae and Gina Kim, the feds and police said.

. . .

The eight-year veterans, who are now facing 10 years behind bars, say they weren’t looking to get rich.

“I wanted to be the No. 1 cop. You know? Because I wasn’t making sergeant. You know, I wasn’t smart enough,” Kim, 29, told an FBI agent. “You want to impress your supervisors and your peers. That was my intent. So, you know, I got to know him [Chae]. I wasn’t going to hit his place,” Kim told the G-man.

“You’re probably thinking this is suspicious because I’m knocking out his competition. But at the same time, I’m getting collars out of it.”

. . .

After the arraignment, Kim arrived at his Jericho, L.I., home in a Lexus SUV. Svoronos lives in Astoria and owns a BMW.