And You Thought The Coen Brothers’ Quirky Take On Life Was Out Of Touch With Reality

There should be a special charge added to offenses perpetrated by criminals who prey on people without legs:

A homeless man is accused of tying his legless friend to the bed in a Grasmere motel, hiding his prosthetic legs so he couldn’t get up, and stealing his property as he lay bound.

Carl Hughes, 33, committed the bizarre theft in the early morning hours on April 19 in the Cosmopolitan Motel at 1274 Hylan Blvd., police allege.

Hughes’ friend, 43-year-old Joseph Valente, was letting him stay in his room in the motel, according to authorities.

At about 2:10 a.m., Valente awoke to find himself tied at the chest with an electrical cord, police allege.

His prosthetic legs and his wheelchair had been moved away from the bed, a law enforcement source said.

Hughes was walking out of his room with a laptop, a debit card, a cell phone and unspecified medication, court papers allege.

Somehow, Valente managed to get free and contact authorities.

Police tracked Hughes to a park bench in Manhattan on Tuesday, and arrested him in connection with the crime, authorities said.

When an officer told him he was being taken to Staten Island to answer for a robbery, Hughes blurted out, “Oh, the guy with no legs!” the law enforcement source recounted.

This Is Why We Hate You

Fuck you, cab driver:

About 3,000 New York City taxi drivers routinely overcharged riders over two years by surreptitiously fixing their meters to charge rates that would normally apply only to trips outside the five boroughs, according to the city’s Taxi and Limousine Commission.

. . .

The Taxi and Limousine Commission directed meter manufacturers to modify the equipment, to warn riders when the rate rises.
The drivers’ scheme, the commission said, involved 1.8 million rides and cost passengers an average of $4 to $5 extra per trip. The drivers, officials said, flipped switches on their meters that kicked in the higher rates, costing New York City riders a total of $8.3 million.

Maybe Health Care Reform Isn’t Such A Bad Idea After All

Which looks worse, Eli pimping plagued Toyota cars or Eli bilking St. Vincent’s as it nears bankruptcy? Tough call:

Giant quarterback Eli Manning got a lousy reception yesterday for a secret marketing deal with cash-strapped St. Vincent’s Medical Center that paid him at least $500,000 over the last three years.

After inquiries by The Post Sunday, Manning and the Greenwich Village hospital said they had canceled a $1 million pact that would have paid him $200,000 a year through 2014.

But as late as last December, Manning’s agent requested a $125,000 payment from St. Vincent’s that was months overdue, sources said.

The tardy check was finally sent to Manning’s firm, PWL Inc.

Location Scout: St. Vincent’s Hospital Manhattan.

The Yankees Hate Your Children

Someone should see if obesity rates have soared — literally soared! — around the area where no new parks have been built:

Three and a half years after Mayor Bloomberg closed huge portions of Mullaly and Macombs Dam parks to make way for the Yankees new $1.5 billion stadium, the replacement ballfields the city promised are nowhere to be seen.

. . .

Shea Stadium, in case anyone has forgotten, came tumbling down in fewer than eight months. It was leveled quickly because the Mets needed the land for parking.

Location Scout: New Yankee Stadium.

“Productivity Goals” Return

Apparently now that the election season has come and gone city ticket agents can go back to doing what they do best — cheap collars in Astoria:

Swarms of traffic agents patrol the jammed streets of Astoria’s commercial strips every day, writing tickets for expired meters and double-parked cars — even as drivers sit in their vehicles.

Earlier: We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Quotas — We Have Productivity Goals For That!; Countless Hovers Under Cover Of The Street, Or, The Gift Down Below.