That Secret Herb That Makes Meatballs Taste Better

A police detective is fighting for his job after testing positive for marijuana, allegedly from his wife’s cooking:

A veteran NYPD detective accused of using marijuana is offering a novel defense: He says his wife spiked his meatballs with pot in a misguided attempt to force him to retire, the Daily News has learned.

Detective Anthony Chiofalo, a 22-year veteran who is facing possible dismissal from the force and loss of his pension, convinced a department trial commissioner this week he was innocent.

But the final word will come from Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly, who will decide whether he believes Chiofalo was a victim of marijuana meatballs.

“If this story is true, then he really shouldn’t be fired,” said a high-ranking police official yesterday.

Last year, Chiofalo tested positive for marijuana after he submitted a hair sample as part of random drug testing which cops of all ranks are subject to, sources said.

Chiofalo initially suspected that he had inhaled second-hand smoke from his wife, who smokes weed to deal with back pain, sources said. But when she was questioned by his lawyer, she admitted her pot plot, the sources said.

In The Venn Diagram Of Deviancy, “Comic Book Guy” Increasingly Overlapping With “Sicko” And “Perv”

Everybody loves exposing pervs on the subway, but Police Commissioner Ray Kelly urges caution, noting that some pervs may not take kindly to the act:

Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly recently issued a statement warning straphangers to use extreme caution when trying to catch subway flashers on cell phone cameras. Kelly acknowledged that such photos have assisted investigators in bringing the flashers to justice-but warned those snapping the sickos to consider they may be putting themselves in danger by doing so.

Kelly reminded the sharpshooters to think about how the flasher might react when he realizes he’s been caught in the act.

Kelly’s remarks on the particularly satisfying form of vigilante justice come after a particularly pervy perv was caught in the act on the 7 train*:

The same individual who exposed himself to a 15-year-old in March is alleged to have flashed a second woman on the same No. 7 line on May 5. Both times the pervert’s victims snapped cell phone pictures of him.

Cops released both images to the press, asking for the public’s help in catching the serial flasher.

Police said the latest victim, a 22-year-old Queens woman, was riding the No. 7 with a friend and her mother when she spotted the pervert-exposed and peering at her over his sunglasses.

When the woman snapped photos of him, the man tried to cover his face with an Archie comic book, police said. After she was certain she had a clear photo, the woman tried to embarrass the man by shouting to other straphangers that he was exposing himself, police said. The man quickly exited the train.

*Isn’t May 5 like six months ago? Who cares when you have Archie!

Psycho Hose Beast

I still don’t understand what the “R” stands for but at least the Post is generous enough to share their picture of the victim with us:

Samir Sara, 23, allegedly had a one-night stand with 21-year-old Kristina Caban two years ago. When she called him afterward, he supposedly never phoned her back — becoming only one in a long line of men who had wooed and then mistreated the hot-blooded art student, a friend told The Post yesterday.

Caban is now charged with hatching the sick plan that led to Sara’s being branded on his torso last week with a four-inch “R” as revenge for the slight.

“She flocked to a- – – – – – guys,” said the classmate of Caban at the School of Visual Arts in Manhattan. “She’s a talented person. She’s also a genuine person. For her to do this, she must have been deeply hurt.”

Caban’s lawyer yesterday tried to minimize his client’s role in the searing Oct. 22 attack, which also resulted in the arrest of the suspect’s current boyfriend, Robert Testagrossa, 25. Testagrossa has been suspended from his $60,000-a-year civilian investigator job in the MTA’s Inspector General’s Office in the wake of the assault.

“Let’s get off the branding thing,” said Caban’s lawyer, James Friedman, shortly after his client was indicted by a Manhattan Supreme Court grand jury. “There’s a tremendous amount of speculation, innuendo and rumor. . . .”

Friedman called Caban “a good kid from a good home” and urged the public to “sit back and wait for the facts.”

Then again, you’ve got to like how the boyfriend somehow finds a way to misuse his position with the MTA to help his girlfriend (allegedly!) assault the man:

Sources have told The Post that Caban reconnected with Sara and made a date to have drinks with him in a Chelsea bar Oct. 22.

She then allegedly lured him to a room at the Chelsea Inn, where Testagrossa and the unnamed man were waiting with a gun and Taser.

There, sources allege, the men stole Sara’s cellphone and cash. Testagrossa shouted that he was “a Long Island police officer” while displaying a badge and ordering Sara to get on the floor. The men then allegedly bound Sara and branded him.

Although Testagrossa is no cop, the former high-school varsity wrestler carries a badge as part of his work for the inspector general of the Metropolitan Transportation Agency.

Line, Line, Everywhere A Line

The halo effect claims another victim:

An early-morning argument over cutting into line at a popular Midtown falafel cart turned deadly yesterday when a man stabbed a teenager in the chest, cops said.

Tyrone Gibbons, 19, of Short Hills, N.J., was standing in line at a falafel cart at 53rd Street and Sixth Avenue at around 4 a.m., when he and his friends got into an argument with Ziad Tayeh, 23 about cutting the line, police said.

After a heated exchange, Gibbons and his pals hopped in their car, and Tayeh got in his. But when they stopped at a light on 53rd Street and Seventh Avenue, they started arguing again.

“They were not happy with each other,” a police official said.

When the light changed, they turned south onto Seventh Avenue, but again stopped at a light at 52nd Street, and the fight erupted all over again.

Then Tayeh jumped out of his white Lexus and allegedly plunged a blade into Gibbons’ chest, cops said.

Tayeh hopped back into his car and sped off, and Gibbons was rushed to St. Vincent’s Hospital, where he was pronounced dead at 4:40 a.m., police said.

And His Community Service Should Be Picking Up Trash At Christopher Street Pier . . . Around Midnight

A gay-bashing sting operation nabs surly dickhead in Union Square:

A Brooklyn man chose the wrong targets to gay-bash when he picked on two undercover cops pretending to be snuggling paramours in Union Square Park, authorities said yesterday.

Tyrone George, 20, was arrested on hate-crime charges at around 1:15 p.m. Monday after he threatened and spat at the officers, who were in the park on the lookout for gang activity, police said.

The cops, a sergeant and a police officer assigned to the Transit Borough Manhattan Task Force, were perched on a bench like lovebirds, with the sergeant’s arm wrapped around his subordinate’s shoulder, authorities said.

George approached them, screamed that he hated “homos,” told them to get out of his park, called them “faggots” and gave the sergeant the middle finger, according to a Criminal Court complaint.

Minutes later, George circled back and continued his anti-gay rant, threatened to assault them and spat on the sergeant’s foot, authorities said.

With that, the cops arrested George, who struggled and said he didn’t want “faggots touching him,” court papers state.

Choose your own snark:

• Sure they were “pretending” . . . sure.
• Posing as a drug buyer is one thing, but snuggling with your partner — now there’s an assignment.
• When this is ripped from the headlines, perhaps Jesse L. Martin will reprise his role in Rent?