[Insert Quippy, Perhaps Pun-Filled “Headline” Here]

[Introduce link here, perhaps by rewriting lede in stylish, snarky fashion]:

For the adult kickball teams battling it out in front of Public School 142 on the lower East Side this week, the game is about bonding with friends new and old, getting some open air exercise and reliving long-forgotten schoolyard exploits.

. . .

“It makes you feel like you are 10 years old,” said Ryan Stuczynski, 27, a banker and kickball player who also moonlights as a paid umpire for the league. He says the players take the game pretty seriously, even though they are on a playground.

“People are pretty adamant,” he said. “I try to run down the line and show everyone that I am into it, too.”

In Case You Happen To Be Factchecking A Car Chase Scene . . .

Apparently you can escape a five-story fall in a vehicle with only minor cuts and scrapes:

Shortly after 3 p.m. today a silver Mercedes fell out of the fifth floor window of the Hertz parking garage (12 E. 13th St.) behind NYU’s Fairchild building at 7 E. 12 St., landing on the courtyard behind the NYU building. The driver, a parking attendant at the garage, was transported to St. Vincent’s Hospital in stable condition, suffering from minor scrapes and cuts. The accident was reportedly due to brake failure, according to the NYU Office of Emergency Management.

. . .

Ninette Gironella, who works in the Registrar’s office on the third floor, was sitting in her office when she saw the car back out and fall. Recalling the response of emergency operators when she called 911, Gironella said, “They didn’t grasp the fact that a car had gone out the window.”

The City That Never Sleeps Will No Longer Be Able To Buy Those Annoying One- And Two-Cent Stamps To Keep Up With The Postal Service’s Frequent Rate Increases

That said, the 24-hour window was beginning to attract the wrong kind of crowd:

The James A. Farley Post Office across from Penn Station will close its 24-hour windows to save money, starting May 9.

“That’s horrible,” said Jeff Garret, 25, a custodian from Manhattan. “When you need to get your mail off, you need to get it off.”

Location Scout: James A. Farley Post Office.

Charlton Heston Smiles From Heaven

Wow, it goes from beleaguered dog owner to full-blown Charles Bronson in just five paragraphs:

She never had a chance.

A vicious pit bull belonging to Japanese hip-hop star DJ Honda made mincemeat of a fluffy Yorkshire terrier owned by a celebrity facialist when the pooches squared off on the Lower East Side.

The brutal attack — which left the smaller dog needing her face sewn back together — is part of a pattern of bullying by the musician’s three nasty canines, residents said yesterday.

The pit bull, Boss, was walking off his leash on Orchard Street the evening of April 3 when he pounced on Christine Chin’s 12-pound pooch, Bebe.

“My pet was almost shredded to pieces,” Chin said. “I feel so bullied and so helpless. I said to my husband, ‘Should we get a gun now?'”

But unless you’re a celebrity I think it’s supposed to be kind of difficult to get permission to carry a weapon around with you.

A Generous Gesture That Is Bound To Look Good On Videotape*

This is because of what now? Oh, what difference does it make:

They’ve sung about a place “Where the Streets Have No Name,” but Irish rockers U2 will have a street named for them in Times Square Tuesday.

Mayor Bloomberg is expected to rename part of W.53rd St. at Broadway “U2 Way.”

The temporary street renaming coincides with the release of the band’s new CD, “No Line on the Horizon,” and the kickoff last night of their five-night gig on “Late Show With David Letterman.”

*I knew I could use this later.