Why And When Solid; Who, What, And Where Is Another Story

This somehow qualifies as news at the Post? Someone did something horrifically horrible but we won’t say where because it’s just too horrible:

A crude and tasteless Web site that claims 9/11 was “funny” and the victims “deserved what they got” has provoked a storm of criticism.

The site features a series of heartless jokes, cartoons, and vile photos that make light of the disaster.

Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association President Patrick J. Lynch blasted the site as “crude, vulgar, hurtful and unpatriotic.”

“The police officers who sacrificed their lives that day, and every day, do so to ensure the freedom of speech that this Web site insults,” he said.

“America’s greatness lies in the tolerance of crap like this – where those responsible would be summarily executed for this kind of offense in a terrorist country.”

The Webmaster, who identifies himself only as “Henry” and “Hank Tom,” invites people to send him hate mail via e-mail or a message board — and many have obliged.

“You better hope we never meet in real life,” wrote one distressed Web surfer. “What happened to people on 9/11 isn’t anything compared to what I will do to you.”

There was no information on the identity of the ghoul who set up the site.

(The Daily News fills in the details.)

Hey, Bisexuals Exist!

The Post reports that the first openly bisexual person since David Bowie will be representing the Upper East Side in the State Assembly:

An aide to City Comptroller William Thompson became the first openly bisexual member of the state Legislature last night after defeating his Republican opponent in a special election.

Micah Kellner, a Democrat, took 64 percent of the vote to Republican Gregory Camp’s 36.

Kellner, 28, a top aide to Thompson, has also worked for Rep. Carolyn Maloney (D-Manhattan).

“We campaigned on the issues and I really think that’s what voters responded to,” Kellner said.

The special election in the 65th Assembly District — which covers the Upper East Side and Roosevelt Island — fills a seat held for 33 years by Democrat Pete Grannis, who now heads the state Department of Environmental Conservation. There are currently four openly gay members serving in the Legislature.

We’re still waiting for a statement from Sean Delonas, assuming he knows the difference between gay and bisexual.

Yes, It’s A Break From All The Relentless Naomi Coverage

New York Post readers find “rap wars” stories strangely satisfying:

The city’s rap wars are on the brink of exploding after a thug performer allegedly beat up a 14-year-old kid for wearing a rival’s shirt — and the boy turned out to be the foe’s son, officials said yesterday.

G-Unit artist Tony Yayo was released on a $5,000 cash bond after being arraigned on charges of assault and endangering the welfare of a child, both misdemeanors. Prosecutors said he roughed up the teenager on a Manhattan street for wearing a sweatshirt promoting a rival company.

Yayo, an associate of rap star 50 Cent, vented his rage on the son of Czar Entertainment chief Jimmy “Henchman” Rosemond, who represents rival rapper The Game, cops said.

. . .

The criminal complaint against Yayo, 29, who is nearly twice the teen’s size, said he hit the kid so hard with the back of his ring-studded hand that the boy’s head bounced off a wall.

The youngster told cops that two men with Yayo brandished guns during the assault, after 50 Cent allegedly sicced his crew on the kid.

A source close to Rosemond, 42, said the father, a former gang member, was fuming.

“If he wanted Yayo dead, he’d be dead already,” the source said.

Cops are not convinced the boy was attacked simply for wearing a Czar Entertainment sweatshirt. The source said cops believe Yayo might have known exactly whom he was hitting.

Rosemond’s son is a rap-star wannabe, and has made industry connections through his father.

. . .

[Family lawyer Jeffrey] Lichtman said the teen was on his way to an after-school internship at his father’s West 25th Street office last Tuesday when 50 Cent, whose Violator Records office is across the street, spotted the boy and signaled to some members of his entourage.

Yayo, whose real name is Marvin Bernard, allegedly pushed the youth up against the wall and hit him.

“F – – – Czar Entertainment!” Yayo reportedly yelled.

Lichtman said he had as much contempt for 50 Cent as the man who carried out the attack.

“He was the one that gave the hand signal that started the whole thing,” Lichtman said. “He wasn’t there during the hitting, but [he] . . . started it.”

Just How Bad Is It? New York Post Employees Are Forced To Panhandle

Upper East Siders scream at the New York Post’s Doug Montero to get a job:

The muscular store worker didn’t mince words when he told me to shoo from outside the Ralph Lauren clothing shop.

“Go stand by the church or I’m going to call the cops,” he threatened as I lowered my panhandling coffee cup.

Bumming on Madison Avenue is a tough business.

It took about an hour before the Ralph Lauren workers at the East 72nd Street store began harassing me.

The first worker, a linebacker-sized maintenance worker, told me to get off the store’s planters because my rear end was disturbing the hedge.

“You should go by the church. You’ll make more money there because people walk by and feel more spiritual,” he said, pointing toward East 71st Street.

“Get a job,” sneered one 60-something lady.

Picking On Poor Old Billy Joel: Ooh, Real Tough

Hey, leave Billy Joel out of your lazy ledes, why doncha:

Here’s a bottle of red that can quench the thirst of Billy Joel — and half of Long Island, to boot.

The world’s biggest wine bottle — weighing in at 1,300 pounds and containing nearly 64 gallons — was unveiled on Wall Street yesterday.

At 6-foot-5, the bottle — which hails from Western Australia — was the centerpiece of a show featuring all things from Down Under and part of a marketing effort dubbed “G’day USA: Australian Week.”

Then again there’s this: “Joel: I’m No AA Advertisement”.