KIT! Call Me Over The Summer! Stay Sweet!

Who does this guy think he is, the president? Wait, don’t answer that:

On his first morning as national champion, Bronx-born Kemba Walker awoke to a congratulatory call from Mayor Bloomberg.

The high-scoring Connecticut guard was offered a free ticket Tuesday to a Knicks game — and some free advice in the surprise conversation with the mayor of his hometown.

“It was great,” Walker told the Daily News on the team bus bound for the airport in Houston. “He called and congratulated me.

“He told me that whenever it’s time to take it to the next level that I should try to stay the same.”

If You Can’t Beat Them, Give Them One Of The Piers To Piss And Crap On

The State Parks Department buckles in the face of a highly organized, powerful and ruthlessly self-interested lobby:

After years of being smacked on the nose for their four-legged infractions, Long Island City dog owners are finally being allowed to sniff some fresh, park air.

Gantry Plaza State Park has long been off limits to pooches, but that will now change after area elected officials brokered a deal with state parks officials for a six-month trial run. The trial run opens up Pier 4 to K-9’s during certain morning and evening hours.

Dopey dog imagery aside, the only “breath of fresh air” has been the New York State Department of Parks, whose regional directors know that too many of the dog owners of Long Island City are boorish, selfish, disgusting canine custodians who treat the parks there as their own backyard — and not one of the nicely appointed backyards but rather one of those gross backyards with fossilized dog shit landmines every couple of feet.

But no, elected officials had to step in to “broker a deal” and “protect the interests” of people who shouldn’t be owning outdoor animals in the first place.

Many dog owners simply ignore the signs that are already there. And the State Parks Department is correct that dog owners can’t handle stopping their pets from pooping and pissing in the park. Dog owners let dogs poop and piss in all sorts of places you would hope they wouldn’t: walls, trees, bags of trash (nice to do to hard-working Sanitation employees, by the way!), your front stoop. Face it, the only reason dog owners want access to the park is to allow themselves an aesthetically pleasing backdrop during their animals’ bathroom breaks. And when you allow that, they’re going to let those beasts poop and piss there, too.

But again, our elected officials, huge pussies they are, in effect overruled the professionals in charge.

You need a pet in an urban area? Get a fucking cat! That way it can poop and piss in your house and not all over mine.

Earlier: The Silent Majority Needs To Speak Up.

Location Scout: Gantry Plaza State Park.

Third-Term Malaise Alert: The Thin Line Between Faux Folksiness And Lousy Grammar

It’s not so much a “you have to” scenario but rather a “you got to” sort of thing — kind of like when Kenny Rogers sings “you got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em” in “The Gambler,” or when The Beatles sang “got to be a joker he just do what he please” in “Come Together” or even when Randy Newman snarked that when it comes to short people, “you got to pick ’em up just to say hello”:

At his news conference Wednesday, the mayor appeared to have no patience for any employee who somehow missed his unannounced media appearances. “You got to listen,” he demanded.

Earlier: “At Least They Didn’t Call Them ‘Non-Essential'”.

Are Treasury Department Vending Machines Stocked With Too Many Transfats Or Something?

I mean, Pennsylvania Avenue is already a pedestrian mall between 15th and 17th Streets, so it can’t be that . . . then again, it has always been a dream of mine to have the mayor autograph a dollar bill:

CNBC host Larry Kudlow went on the air yesterday to report that “a very well-informed political source” had told him that the mayor would be named to replace Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner.

Something Important Must Be Coming Up

Oh right, the FY2011 budget for one . . . so now is as good time as any to show that the mayor is not just some lame duck:

If he sees an “opening”, Mayor Michael Bloomberg may decide to run for President.