When I Said “There’s No Room At The Inn” What I Meant To Say Was “There Is That Little-Used Guest Suite Which We Could Let You For The Right Price”

After earlier sounding an alarm about how they would handle all the additional commuters MTA president admits that it actually wouldn’t be that big of a deal after all:

Amid all the bad news, the president of NYC Transit feared an underlying message had been lost about the benefits of Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s proposed congestion pricing plan.

During rush hours, the busiest train lines — including the 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and E — are running at or over capacity. Yet Roberts insisted the system could still “fully support” the increased ridership projected from congestion pricing. “In fact the current strain on parts of the system is a big argument in favor of congestion pricing, not against it,” he said.

Roberts believes the business-day toll could pay for subway improvements and for such big-ticket projects as the first leg of the Second Avenue Subway, which is already $1 billion short.

On Monday, Roberts proposed quick “fixes,” including adding more cars to trains and extending station platforms. But these remedies would take “four or five” years. More importantly, they all require money the MTA doesn’t have.

“Congestion pricing is critical to putting these fixes into place,” Roberts said yesterday.

The city’s Department of Transportation estimates congestion pricing would dissuade 94,000 current drivers over an entire day, but believes only 7,000 of them will shift to subways and buses at the peak morning rush between 8 and 9 a.m. “Other drivers presumably come from areas where it is more convenient to use commuter rail,” said DOT spokesperson Molly Gordy.

If half of that 7,000 end up in the subway, they would add just 1 percent to the current morning peak-hour load of 345,000 riders. Roberts noted they would also be spread across the subway’s 22 lines.

“This is a minimal bump that the system can unequivocally absorb,” he said.

But doesn’t that also actually kind of undercut one of the main reasons to support congestion pricing — that so many more people will use public transportation?

And what’s more, has everyone simply taken at face value the notion that there will be an increase of one million new people in New York City in just over twenty years? (Questions to ask include but are not limited to: Really? Who are these people? Where will they come from? Will New York somehow magically get more affordable? Will Manhattan turn from a neighborhood of pied-a-terres to a solid middle-class enclave of families exceeding replacement levels? Will there be some massive new industry that will move here?) Or I guess it’s to everyone’s benefit to just assume there will be that many people here:

NYC Transit President Howard Roberts has expressed concern about how the system will handle expected population growth of 1 million people by 2030. Some lines, including the Nos. 2, 3 and 4, already are grossly overcrowded and operating at or above capacity.

“We’ve got to begin to look at how we get to comfortable rides, comfortable capacities, for people in that time period . . . given how long it takes for capital projects to get done, we don’t have a lot of time to do it,” Roberts said yesterday.

The strain on the system is a “big argument” for congestion pricing, Roberts said. The city’s pricing plan would generate billions of dollars to fund mass transit projects by charging drivers to enter Manhattan below 86th St.

Gene Russianoff of the Straphangers Campaign agreed.

“The choice is clear: We either act now to handle the coming million . . . . or drown in the crush,” Russianoff said. “Congestion pricing is the answer.”

Yet Another Thing To Blame Bush For

Thanks to the Bush Administration’s solid lock on Congress, that giant vat of federal money for congestion pricing is a slam dunk:

A powerful congressman has warned Gov. Spitzer and legislative leaders that the $500 million in federal aid that Mayor Bloomberg claims will be available for his congestion-pricing plan has not been approved.

Rep. Peter DeFasio (D-Ore.), chairman of the House Subcommittee on Highways and Transit, told Spitzer, Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver and Senate Majority Leader Joe Bruno in a letter that even if the money is eventually authorized, New York City may not be eligible to receive it.

“I write to express my concerns about the assurances by [U.S. Transportation] Secretary Mary Peters . . . that New York City will receive a significant amount of federal funding for implementation of Mayor Bloomberg’s proposed congestion-pricing program,” DeFasio wrote in the letter obtained by The Post.

“You should know that Congress has not authorized the [Transportation Department’s] Congestion Initiative or its component parts,” DeFasio added.

DeFasio told Spitzer he had “serious doubts that New York City or Mayor Bloomberg’s congestion-pricing program” would be eligible for federal funding under several DOT projects from which the funds had been expected to come.

“Before you rush to enact legislation authorizing the establishment of Mayor Bloomberg’s congestion-pricing program, I urge that you obtain all the relevant information, including asking Secretary Peters and DOT for clarification, and written assurances, that New York City will be eligible to receive federal funding under the programs,” wrote DeFasio in the letter to Spitzer, which was copied to Silver and Bruno.

“I caution you to carefully consider the expectation that the federal government will deliver those funds,” he continued.

Oh Well Whatever Nevermind

So when Bloomberg takes the subway, it’s not really about reducing congestion, saving time or fighting pollution — in that respect, it’s sort of like how congestion pricing really isn’t about the environment either:

Mayor Bloomberg took the subway yesterday to a news conference about a new green-car initiative — but he also brought along his SUV.

After his small, fuel-guzzling motorcade arrived at the Museum of Natural History on West 79th Street to join a Hertz Corp. announcement about adding 3,400 hybrid cars to its fleet, the mayor insisted he and his aides had driven only a short distance.

“We drove here from [the] 86th Street [station],” Bloomberg said, pointing out that he wasn’t inside the SUV that took the trip from City Hall, but instead had hopped on the subway.

That raised the question: If the mayor rides the subway uptown but is met by an SUV driven from City Hall — with or without him in it — where’s the carbon-emission savings?

An aide later explained that the NYPD tails Bloomberg wherever he goes and has his specially equipped SUV at the ready in case of emergency. Also, Bloomberg’s SUV is equipped with “flex-fuel” tanks and runs on a mixture of ethanol and gasoline, the aide said.

But You Know What They Say — Better That Than A Meth Lab . . . Or Some Mentally Disturbed Cat Hoarder

You would never believe that your neighbors keep pythons at home . . . until you find out that they do:

Shocked firefighters stumbled upon a menagerie of deadly animals — including two alligators, two cobras, black widow spiders and a python — while putting out a blaze in a Queens apartment yesterday.

Tony Baez, 23, was in tears after his animals were removed and he was issued a summons by the Health Department.

Lt. Ed Ireland said he and his crew discovered dozens of reptiles and spiders after they put out a fire in a basement apartment at 39th Avenue in Corona at 11:30 a.m.

All of the animals were caged, except for a python, which Ireland said he was “startled” to discover near his leg as he entered the room.

“It felt like something out of a science-fiction scene,” he said. “It looked like a biology lab. The whole room was in cages.” The cause of the fire remains under investigation, but Ireland said it was not considered suspicious. Baez’s “ark” included two 2-foot-long alligators, numerous frogs, turtles and tarantulas and at least two cobras.

. . .

Angelo Diaz, 55, who has lived on the block since 1970, was shocked to learn his home was just feet away from dangerous snakes.

“You never know if one night the snake could get out. We feel very happy that they came to get them,” he said. “We have babies here, it isn’t safe. We never would have thought that animals like that are here.”

We Are All Soundbites, Double Negatives And Passive Voice Now

NYU students “aghast” — simply aghast — at mixup that forces some to resort to double negatives:

Many of the students affected by May’s mixed-sex housing mix-up — in which a handful of male students were mistakenly assigned to share their dormitory bedrooms with females — obtained new room assignments from NYU and were able to hang on to their residence hall and same-sex roommates of choice.

Leslie Faylor, a rising GSP sophomore, learned through a Facebook group that men would be sharing her Coral Towers suite this fall. Recently, however, NYU reassigned Faylor and her roommate, rising CAS sophomore Jae Honey, to the same numbered room on a different floor.

“The mix-up didn’t create any major problems for us,” Faylor said. “Overall, the change was smooth, and I am pleased that I was not moved to a room that I wouldn’t prefer.”

. . .

Though some freshmen predicted dorming doomsday scenarios on Facebook housing groups when they first noticed the mix-up, many seem to have overcome the crisis.

Nate Hess, a rising CAS sophomore, was initially “aghast” about the problem.

“If the internet can simply mix up my room assignment, think about what other ‘system failures’ can occur,” he said.

Hess’ reassigment, however, was to the same room in the same dorm, and the females were moved.

“I’m still sort of aghast. But, I’m glad I got to stay in Thirteenth Street — in the room I was initially assigned to — and I look forward to living there next year,” Hess said. “The situation has been remedied.”