You Know The Housing Market Is Bad When . . .

. . . the City Council sees a need to limit the size of for sale signs:

The slumping housing market is presenting a new wrinkle in the city — oversized “for sale” lawn signs that one Staten Island city councilman has made his latest quality-of-life target.

Michael McMahon (D-North Shore) yesterday introduced a bill that would limit the size of such signs throughout the city.

Claiming the signs have a “detrimental effect on the aesthetic value of New York City’s residential neighborhoods,” the proposed legislation limits “for sale” signs on residential properties to a maximum size of 4 square feet.

“While traveling in my district, I have noticed what seems to be an explosion in the size of real estate signs on front lawns to a degree that is practically obnoxious,” McMahon said in a prepared statement. “Real estate companies have the right to advertise, but let’s keep it tasteful.”

. . .

The measure is also catching flak from one Realtor, who said his signs must be large enough to attract buyers.

“If you have a property, you have to bring it to the public’s eye,” said George Wonica Sr., president of Wonica Realtors. He said the 2-by-2 foot signs McMahon is proposing are not large enough to lure business. “You might as well not have anything there. I agree with bringing it down, but I don’t think 2-by-2 is the proper dimension.”

For The Assignment Desk . . .

The question remains how you get trains off an island:

They were a vision in disco-era orange and yellow when they debuted in the 1970s, subway cars to put a smile on the face of the most jaded New York straphanger.

A bunch were delivered in 1973 to Staten Island, where they became the workhorses of the railway.

They’re still reliable and mechanically sound. But all this time later, the cars are as dowdy as leisure suits and as passe as The Hustle.

To buy more time before new cars are purchased some five to eight years from now, the 64-car Staten Island Railway fleet is scheduled for an upgrade.

An $11 million mini-overhaul is planned to spruce up the floors and seats, repair leaky ceiling panels to prevent soaked bottoms, and beef up the climate-control system.

Later this year, the cars will taken two at a time to New York City Transit’s Coney Island maintenance shop in Brooklyn. Each pair will stay in the shop for about a week, and the entire fleet should be rehabbed over 12 months.

You Can Take The Dump Out Of Staten Island . . .

. . . but you can’t make Staten Islanders stop wanting to dump. They just can’t seem to get away from their past:

It’s been seven years since the Fresh Kills landfill closed, but it’s being replaced by miniature dumps that are springing up in neighborhoods across the borough — and the Sanitation Department is being slammed for not doing enough to stop it.

Despite the Island comprising nearly 20 percent of the city’s acreage — and more open spaces and wetlands than any other borough — only 7 percent of the fines issued by the Sanitation Department for illegal dumping in the last five years were given out here, according to an Advance analysis of Sanitation statistics.

. . .

As an Advance reporter and photographer sought out hotspots for dumping across the borough recently, neighbors marveled in disgust over people who don’t think twice before throwing garbage on remote dead-end streets, into wetlands, or along highway ditches.

“I’m astounded,” said Rossville resident Frank Lettiere, who said he often sees people driving to the corner of Woodrow Road and Veterans Road East and kicking trash and household items into the wooded hill that leads to a drainage ditch. “You can’t give people a conscience who don’t have a conscience.”

. . .

Other dumping hot spots the Advance visited include Wild Avenue by East Service Road in Travis, along Chelsea Road in Chelsea and the Graniteville Quarry off Forest Avenue.

Joanne Redhead, who lives across the street from the Elm Park site, said she’s disgusted by the frequent dumping into the lot covered by high weeds and trees.

“They come with their trucks and their cars and they dump their trash there,” Ms. Redhead said, pointing to the lot which harbors tires, several bags of trash and an old boat. “If I knew this was a dumping site, I wouldn’t have bought this house (four years ago). It’s just very nasty people. That’s really messing up the environment.”

Faster Vintage!

Plans to bring Italian varietals to Staten Island are progressing:

The 2-acre Tuscan Garden Vineyard Project will be planted on a Snug Harbor hilltop by spring 2009, officials said yesterday.

“We’ll be creating, I’m sure, a serious wine,” declared winemaker Piergiorgio Castellani Jr., co-owner of Italy’s Castellani Wines.

The Italian winery, near Pisa — as in leaning tower of — produces 18 million bottles of wine annually.

Castellani estimated the 2,000-vine organic plot planned for the Staten Island Botanical Garden will produce as much as 7,000 bottles a year. The vineyard is to complement the Tuscan Garden Villa at the botanic garden.

. . .

Because the three types of grapes — merlot, cabernet sauvignon and sangiovese — he intends to plant will be the same as those used in his “Super Tuscan” wines, Castellani offered up a name for the Staten Island label.

“We will produce not a Tuscan wine,” Castellani said, “but a Super Staten Island Red.”

At the risk of sounding hypocritical, this absolutely beats the pants off tropical fish tanks:

Borough President James Molinaro, who has committed $2 million in taxpayer money to the project, said the vineyard will draw visitors.

“This is part of branding Staten Island,” Molinaro said, adding that 38% of Staten Islanders are Italian-American.

Bad news:

The wine — a name has not yet been chosen — will not be sold commercially but will go to tourists and could be served at government functions.

Which is to say, start contributing to the Borough President’s reelection campaign now. (And it’s never too early to pitch Talk of the Town.)

How To Make Your Ferry Terminal Look More Like A Russian Supper Club

Fish tanks, full of tropical fish:

Tanks packed with 20 tons of water — holding 400 tropical fish and costing $750,000 — were unveiled by Mayor Bloomberg at the Staten Island ferry terminal Tuesday.

And the mayor also showcased a very fishy sense of humor.

“I just have to say, ‘holy mackerel,'” he said as his audience groaned. “What’s the porpoise, you might ask? These are beautiful tanks that are destined to become a great new attraction on Staten Island.”

The 8-foot-high tanks hold fish usually found on colorful coral reefs — including powder blue tang, Pakistani butterfly and scribbled angel.

The tanks are so heavy, steel beams have had to be used to reinforce the terminal floor.

“The tanks will exert a calming influence on harried commuters,” said Staten Island Borough President James Molinaro, who was inspired after seeing similar aquariums at an airport in Sarasota, Fla.

Bloomberg is known to be a fish fan and installed tanks in his offices decades ago.

“I’ve been hooked ever since,” he said.

And Gene Russianoff is being ironic, right?

The cash for the project, which will be maintained by staff at the Staten Island Zoo, came from the borough’s capital fund.

“I really don’t think people have a reason to carp about this,” Bloomberg quipped.

Gene Russianoff, spokesman for the Straphangers Campaign, said his group had no problem with the money’s use.

Location Scout: St. George Ferry Terminal.