Well, I Suppose If Staten Islanders Repeatedly Tapped Into That Pipeline To Steal Jet Fuel And It Then Exploded, Killing Hundreds, Then It Might Evoke Something Along The Lines Of The Recent Accident In Lagos . . .

Actually, on second thought it’s not really at all like Nigeria*:

It evoked what-might-have-been comparisons to a 1985 accident on Staten Island.

The explosion of a gasoline pipeline in Nigeria on Monday killed 265 people.

On Sept. 23, 1985, a backhoe operator working on the Buckeye Pipeline accidentally severed a valve, which caused high-octane jet fuel to geyser 60 feet above Victory Boulevard near North Gannon Avenue in Willowbrook.

Miraculously, nobody was killed. And there was only one injury.

The jet fuel, which travels underneath Staten Island from New Jersey to LaGuardia and John F. Kennedy airports, never ignited.

In the 15 minutes it took firefighters to respond and shut down the pipeline, 75,000 gallons of jet fuel had gushed out of the line.

. . .

The Buckeye pipeline system — comprising two 12-inch lines — carries more than 8 million gallons of fuel to the city every day with few problems, Haase said

“I don’t think people should be concerned,” said Haase, explaining that the 14-mile pipeline is constantly patrolled by vehicle and by foot, and “leak detection and location systems” automatically shut down both pipes when a leak is detected.

. . .

The twin Buckeye pipelines — and another major pipeline, the Transcontinental Pipeline — enter Staten Island from Carteret and Linden, N.J., at points along the West and South Shores and run underground near the Staten Island Expressway before exiting in Rosebank by the Alice Austen House.

Besides transporting jet fuel, the Buckeye pipeline system carries gasoline and home-heating fuel oil to storage yards in Brooklyn.

The Transcontinental Pipeline, meanwhile, carries natural gas from the Gulf Coast, by way of the borough and New York Harbor, to facilities in New York City.

Calls to Tulsa, Okla.-based Williams Companies, owner of the Transcontinental Pipeline, were not returned.

A spider web of pipes carries natural gas and fuel across the borough, including about 15 minor pipelines that touch Staten Island as they carry products from Linden and Carteret to Bayonne. Also, the Colonial Pipeline, which runs to the Northeast from Gulf Coast oil refineries, ends at Kinder Morgan Staten Island, formerly Port Mobil.

*See, for example.

Actually, I Don’t Know Which Is More Disturbing

Not to worry — that possible post-9/11 bias attack actually was just garden-variety mafia intimidation:

What started out as an arson investigation into a deli fire that some believed was anti-Muslim backlash in the months after the attacks of September 11, 2001, has led investigators to the conclusion that a Gambino associate ordered the hit to keep a competitor under control.

Edward “The Irishman” Fisher, 54, was charged with ordering the 2001 firebombing of My Deli & Grocery in the Fox Hills section of Staten Island. Investigators yesterday said the owner of the deli, Hamim Syed, 48, was planning to open another deli that would compete with Fisher’s bagel shop.

When threats didn’t deter Mr. Syed, a Pakistani immigrant, Fisher turned to two underlings to carry out the arson attack, the commanding officer of the NYPD’s Arson and Explosion Squad, Lieutenant Dennis Briordy, said.

“It took this whole deli out,” he said, adding: “He wanted it to go away.”

At 4:50 a.m., the men appeared at the door of the deli at 200 Rhine Ave. with a lit commercial fireworks launcher. The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives classifies the launcher as an “extremely powerful destructive device,” a spokesman, Special Agent Joseph Green, said.

Anthony Maniscalco, 36, held the door, while Salvatore Palmieri, 54, tossed the explosive inside, Lieutenant Briordy said. Within minutes, the store was completely engulfed in flames. Four employees managed to escape without injury.

In other news, authorities made some additional collars:

In addition to Fisher’s arrest, the joint investigation by the New York Police Department, the FBI, and the ATF yesterday resulted in seven other arrests on a wider range of charges, including racketeering, loan sharking, extortion, and murder.

Also arrested was a Genovese family soldier, John “Little John” Giglio, 48, who was charged with nine racketeering acts, and crime family associates Vincent “Vinny Bastille” Garcia, 34, Richard Dacunto, 44, John “Hammer” Laforte, 38, Anthony “The Retard” Stocco, 24, and Raymond Spitale, 62.

Palmieri was also charged with the 1990 murder of Ronald Peteroy outside of a bar on Forest Avenue. If convicted, he faces life in prison.

All the men, except Mr. Stocco, were remanded without bail in the District Court of the Eastern District of New York because of a flight risk.

Of course — he’s “The Retard” . . .

The Cool Thing Is We’re Going To Be Using Live Animals . . . Hopefully They Won’t Be Total Animals

The war on Christmas claims another victim:

Yet another Nativity display has met its end, but this time it had nothing to do with political correctness.

The problem: A sheep and a goat in one pen.

Since Dec. 1, the Greenside Up garden center at 5050 Hylan Blvd. in Annadale has featured a hay-filled pen full of llamas, goats, sheep, emus, ponies and more, which has acted as a mini-petting-zoo reminiscent of the time of the birth of Christ.

The animals are mostly passive, mildly poking at their wooden fence in hopes of fresh corn.

That changed on Sunday, when, as best as workers can tell, the young billy goat rammed the 8-year-old sheep.

Though the workers say horseplay occasionally happens in the pen, owner Dennis Hansen of Greenside Up said the sheep also took a few hard knocks from the llama.

. . .

Workers separated the sheep from the rest of the animals, though her friend, an emu, stayed with her and yesterday nuzzled her and fussed over her.

Yesterday morning, a customer noticed that the sheep was lying on its side, and alerted Hansen, as well as the city Center for Animal Care and Control and the ASPCA.

When they arrived, the sheep was on her side taking shallow breaths, apparently suffering internal bleeding.

And with that, the nativity scene was promptly shut down.

It’s Like Herding Geese

The Staten Island Parks Department turns to a band of border collies to get its goose problem under control:

When five border collies surrounded Clove Lakes yesterday morning, glaring at about 200 Canada geese, the black-billed birds began flocking together to protect against the potential threat.

Together, the geese began swimming from their gathering spot near Victory Boulevard toward The Lake Club.

But once they neared the end of the lake, one of the dogs jumped into the frigid water and the entire flock took off and scattered, honking loudly as if to warn other birds about the pending peril.

“It’s incredible,” marveled Borough Parks Commissioner Thomas Paulo. “I’m pretty confident it’s going to work. For the public’s sake, this has to be done.”

Hiring the Howell, N.J.-based Geese Police is a “last resort” for Paulo, who in the last three years has tried using fake owls, metal streamers, garlic repellent and solar-paneled flashing lights to rid the park of Canada geese, which foul ballfields and pedestrian walkways. Each goose leaves behind between one and two pounds of droppings every day.

Gentlemen, Mix Your Metaphors!

The contentious plan to build a NASCAR track on Staten Island has been derailed:

Two years after buying a huge swath of undeveloped land on Staten Island’s West Shore, International Speedway Corp. yesterday scrapped its controversial plan to build a NASCAR raceway with 82,500 seats, citing fierce political opposition as the insurmountable hurdle.

ISC, which was bitterly opposed by those worried about traffic congestion on race weekends, said it plans to sell the 675-acre parcel in Bloomfield, and despite yesterday’s announcement still hopes to build a raceway somewhere within 30 miles of Manhattan.

. . .

Island politicians had been neutral to vitriolic in their opinion of the plan, citing traffic concerns that were exacerbated when ISC suggested shutting two consecutive ramps onto the Staten Island Expressway after races. The Island’s three-man City Council contingent was implacably opposed — and the Council would have had final say on the raceway plan.

. . .

Councilman Michael McMahon, the North Shore Democrat, wants the city to purchase the land and study potential uses.

“To me, that would be the perfect world, for the city to buy it. What I would dream of is having a golf course there — but it’s not for me to say,” McMahon said.

John Gallagher, a spokesman for Dan Doctoroff, deputy mayor for economic development, said the city has been studying uses for the entire West Shore and “will work with stakeholders to responsibly move forward with the best possible proposal for the site.”