The Dirty Little Secret About Trees

The mayor’s half-billion-dollar Million Trees initiative may be revenue-neutral after all:

A newly installed ‘no parking’ sign in front of the Tosca Marquis catering hall, located at 4034 E. Tremont Avenue, is difficult to see because a tree obscures it.

Many unwitting motorists are getting tickets because of the obscured sign in front of the hall designated as a no parking zone from 9 a.m. to 10 p.m., Monday through Saturday. There is no clear indication as to where this parking regulation ends on the street. The sign has only one arrow pointing north to the curb in front of the dining hall. The entire area is now designated for loading and unloading in what had formerly been two metered spots.

“The sign is obstructed by the tree, so I didn’t even notice it,” said a motorist named Milton, who was parking in front of the catering hall on Friday, October 9.

On The Existential Quality Of Traffic Signs

I don’t know which is more annoying — that an enterprising parking space hoarder discovered a way to prevent people from parking in a legal space or that parking enforcement cops are really this uninformed:

Motorists have been parking their cars for years in three spots between the Catherine Scott Promenade and Seashore Restaurant. Now, many have been slapped with tickets even though the Department of Transportation deemed a “No Standing” sign at the location bogus.

. . .

After seeing pictures of the “No Standing” sign which was attached to the utility pole with sheetrock screws, a DOT spokesman said that the sign would come down.

“This sign is illegally posted and it will be removed,” said DOT spokesman Montgomery Dean on July 17.

Those who have been utilizing the spots, many patrons of the Seashore Restaurant at 591 City Island Avenue, were shocked to receive $115 parking summonses.

“A bunch of retired and active police officers and I have been meeting in the Seashore Restaurant for years and using those spots, which can hold roughly three cars,” said City Island resident and retired NYPD lieutenant Bob DiMartini. “We were parking there because they were legal parking spaces.”

DiMartini said all of that changed when three people he knew received summonses for parking in the spaces.

“It is a real Department of Transportation sign,” DiMartini said, “but it does not belong on the pole.”

. . .

“It is the first restaurant when you come onto the island,” DeMartini stated. “They have their parking attendants put out cones to direct traffic, where the three spots are located.”

Your Self-Reflexive Mayor

Looks innocent now, but get a couple more examples* and you’ll have a real story:

Mayor Bloomberg got some free publicity on the state-created English Regents exam this month, scoring a positive mention in a reading-comprehension passage.

“New York’s Mayor Michael Bloomberg has spearheaded an ambitious plan, unveiled in 2002, to ring Manhattan with recreational, multi-use paths and greenways to make the entire waterfront accessible to walkers and cyclists,” gushed paragraph 14 of the mandatory passage, read by about 150,000 high school sophomores and juniors across the state this month.

After students — all too young to vote for Bloomberg, who is running for a third term — read the passage, an excerpt from a September 2006 Environmental Defense Fund article, they had to answer nine multiple-choice questions and write an essay.

*Not sure if this counts or not.

Discretion Is The Better Part Of Valor

Just try to read this without feeling any sarcasm or bitterness. It’s impossible. But really, who cares anymore? It’s all a game anyway:

Over the past fiscal year, which ends June 30, the Council spent $48.5 million on discretionary Council spending, according to spokeswoman Maria Alvarado.

But the city had a $5 billion budget surplus during that fiscal year, compared with a $5 billion revenue shortfall this time around.

The funds are disbursed by Council members to several thousand nonprofit and charitable groups that defenders say will help a wide variety of needy constituency groups.

But it also lets Council members — most of whom are running for third terms because they and Mayor Bloomberg lifted the prior two-term limit — boast they’ve brought home the bacon.

Then there’s this:

Following the discovery last year of a City Council slush fund that stashed dough for fake groups to later spend on pet projects, a rigorous review process was put in place. As a result, Bloomberg’s office yanked $10,000 slated for the Davidson center earlier this year, citing “poor performance on past contracts.”

But that didn’t stop Councilmembers Maria Baez and Joel Rivera. Both of the Bronx Democrats earmarked a combined $85,000 for the group in the budget, according to the lengthy list of grants.

Another Random City Council Embezzlement Allegation Of The Day

They’re interchangeable at this point.