Jacob Riis Porn

The Village Voice’s always-enjoyable Ten Worst Landlords feature is back, and it doesn’t disappoint. A sample:

David Melendez owns a swath of dilapidated, vermin-infested, crime-ridden slums hidden on a forgotten block of Jefferson Street in Bushwick.

. . .

Melendez’s four buildings at 253, 255, 258, and 260 Jefferson have a total of 473 pending code violations. He appears to be in no rush to fix them: HPD has recently made 49 emergency repairs to those buildings and charged Melendez $23,029.

. . .

Agustina Cricantos, who has lived at 260 Jefferson for 25 years, says that the only time tenants ever see Melendez is on the first of the month — when he comes to collect the rent. She pays $600 a month for her two-bedroom apartment and complains about a window in her kitchen that doesn’t open, leaks in the kitchen ceiling, and a faucet that drips constantly. The bathroom walls are rotting, and the toilet bowl isn’t mounted to the bathroom floor, causing the bowl to shift when in use. The light fixture in the bathroom dangles from exposed wires, and a large hole in the wall allows rats to scurry through. After her first interview with the Voice, HPD replaced the window in Cricantos’s kitchen, at the taxpayers’ expense.

“I had horrible bedbugs coming from one of the walls in the bedroom into my mattresses,” she says, “so I had to throw them out and buy new ones. I had to buy a new crib mattress for my daughter.” The front door to the apartment, contaminated by lead paint — a serious hazard known to cause brain damage in children — was replaced by the city this year. But other areas of her apartment that also contain lead paint have not been repaired. A three-year-old lives in these dangerous conditions.

Melendez tells the Voice that he “wouldn’t mind getting rid of my Mexican and Ecuadorian tenants,” adding that “in California, they don’t even rent apartments to Mexicans.” (He says he’d prefer Chinese and Indian tenants because they pay higher rents.) The apartments are rent stabilized, so legally he can raise the rent by only $45 to $50. Cricantos claims that one of the tenants was charged $200 for a copy of his lease and that Melendez frequently raises the rent when the city makes repairs.

It’s Not Your Imagination

Those beefy bouncers who look and act like ex-cons really are ex-cons:

Cops raided 42 bars last weekend and nabbed 41 unlicensed security guards — including some convicted of rape and other serious crimes, NYPD officials revealed yesterday.

At a City Council hearing yesterday on a bill to beef up regulation of bouncers, a top NYPD official testified that of those 41 unlicensed guards, 17 had previous arrest records for everything from rape to illegal gun possession and drug charges.

The NYPD didn’t immediately release the names of the bars and officials said they won’t shut them down. Instead, bar owners will be required to pay a fine and show proof of proper registration.

Police Commissioner Ray Kelly said the proposed legislation would allow the city to shut down bars that employ unlicensed bouncers or hire bouncers who have criminal records.

But NYPD officials said they would like to make the law even tougher – requiring more training for security guards, expanding the definition of guard to include anyone who might be called upon to break up a fight, such as a host or hostess, and making bar owners keep detailed records of who is on duty at any given time.

“This is an all-too-common occurrence when police respond to a violent incident — the owner of the bar has no documentation of who was working security and the bouncer who may have been involved has disappeared,” said NYPD Deputy Chief Brian Conroy, who oversaw last weekend’s raid.

More And More We Are Finding That People Are Getting Stupider And Stupider

Unaccountably — amazingly — the pizza chains Domino’s and Papa John’s are making inroads in pizza-rich New York City:

Domino’s and Papa John’s are trying to grab a piece of the New York pizza pie.

More national chains have been popping up in the Big Apple as they try to do to the mom-and-pop pizza parlor what Home Depot and Lowe’s have done to neighborhood hardware stores.

“In the last two years, I have seen a difference, probably 10 percent,” said Dominick Abitino, 38, whose family runs four Abitino’s pizzerias in Manhattan. “It’s mostly Domino’s that eats into it.”

He added proudly, “We make all of our stuff on premises. We use high-end products. It’s a family business. We don’t do mass production in a plant and ship it out like those chains.”

And New Yorkers’ discerning palates can certainly taste the difference between the zesty sauces made by the local pizzerias and the glop slopped on by the cookie-cutter chains.

“New Yorkers know — and demand — great pizza, and the chains simply don’t offer that,” said Adam Kuban, publisher of the cheese-and-sauce-obsessed Web site SliceNY.com. “Independent pizzerias continue to thrive here, and the number of them, in my observation, has grown faster than that of the chains.”

And while the mega-chains may offer good deals, the taste buds of New Yorkers aren’t easily swayed.

“It’s not the same. It’s almost like pre-made pizza,” said Gerard Muscianesi, of Manalapan, N.J., as he chowed down on at the famous John’s Pizza on Bleecker Street in the Village. “New York pizza is still the best.”

While the major chains have seen growth in the Big Apple, there are still only 36 Domino’s, Pizza Hut, Papa John’s and Sbarro’s franchises combined in Manhattan — compared with more than 500 independent pizzerias.

What’s next? An Einstein Bros. franchise?

It’s Good To Be King

Estimates show that eliminating parking privileges for government employees would generate $46 million in revenue for the city:

Eliminating government employees’ parking perks would generate an estimated $46 million in revenue for the city while helping to reduce traffic congestion, a new study says.

The study, commissioned by Transportation Alternatives, an advocacy group, found government workers are twice as likely to drive to work in Manhattan’s central business district as workers in the private sector.

According to the study, 19,200 fewer vehicles would enter Manhattan each day if government workers were stripped of their free-parking perks and commuted at the same rate as their private-sector counterparts.

The parking spaces freed up by these vehicles could generate $46 million annually in parking meter fees, the study says.

“You might think it’s the stockbroker from Greenwich who drives to work,” said Bruce Schaller, a transportation consultant who authored the study. “In fact, they’re among the least likely people to drive to work. It’s the government employee with free parking in Manhattan who is most likely to drive.”

The study found that 47,000 government employees, or 26% of the 177,300 government employees working in Manhattan south of 59th St., drive to work. Two-thirds of these government workers are employees of the City of New York.

When We Said It Was OK To Protect Yourself In Self-Defense We Didn’t Mean For You To Stab Your Attacker Within An Inch Of His Life

This will teach you for stabbing muggers:

A thief was nearly killed in Central Park yesterday when his victim handed out street justice by stabbing him in the chest, police said.

Thomas Norflett, 44, of Central Park West, plunged a knife into the upper body of Melvin Grady, 32, after Grady tried to rob him on a park path near 110th Street at 4:20 p.m., cops said.

Grady walked up to Norflett and tried to snatch a chain from around his neck, they said. The two began to fight and Norflett stabbed Grady during the tussle, cops said.

Grady was arrested and taken to St. Luke’s Hospital, where he is stable condition, and will be processed once released.

Norflett was also arrested, and charges are pending against both men.