Sure, Blame The Red Man . . .

. . . the typical easy target:

Hizzoner said yesterday uncollected taxes on cigarettes sold on Indian reservations could spare straphangers at least one of two proposed fare hikes to close a $700 million hole in the MTA’s budget.

“That just alone would replace one of those fare increases,” said Bloomberg, who was in New Orleans for the National Conference of State Legislatures. “We want to make sure that the state goes and finds alternative sources.”

The Yankees Want To Kill You

Skin cancer will cause the deaths of 7,000 Americans this year, and maybe more if the most evil team in baseball has its way:

Yankee fans are seeing — and turning — red over a ban on sunscreen, which Stadium security guards say was widely expanded in the last few weeks.

Security guards collected garbage bags full of sunblock at the entrances to Yankee Stadium over the sweltering weekend, when temps hit 96 degrees and the UV index reached a skin-scorching 9 out of 10 — a move team officials said was to protect the Stadium from terrorism.

But fans baking in the bleachers and upper deck argued that the sun may be a bigger threat than Osama bin Laden.

“I was really pissed because, since I am Irish and I have a bald head, I need my sunblock,” said Sean Gavin, 40, who had to toss his SPF 30 at the gate Saturday.

“After they saw me dousing myself with it, it should have been obvious to them that it was sunblock and not some explosive.”

. . .

Four weeks ago, Stadium officials decided that sunscreen of all sizes and varieties would not be permitted, a security supervisor told The Post before last night’s game.

“There have been a lot of complaints,” he said. “We tell them to apply once and then throw it out.”

For fans who bring babies or young children to cheer on the home team, the guard had suggested they “beg” to take the sunblock in.

. . .

The Stadium does sell 1-ounce bottles of Arizona Sun SPF 15 for $5 — a huge markup that makes its beer seem cheap.

Dermatologists said that, security concerns or not, leaving 56,000 fans unprotected from potential skin cancer is “very dangerous.”

“This is especially bad for children, as their younger skin is particularly sensitive,” said Dr. Babar Rao, a specialist at the Skin and Cancer Center of New York. “Sunblock needs to be reapplied every two hours, even if you are not swimming in the ocean or pool.”

Major League Baseball even has a skin-cancer prevention program called “Play Sun Smart.”

An hour after being asked about the sunscreen ban, Yankee spokesman Jason Zillo told The Post that the rules would be changed to permit 3-ounce containers.

(And MLB doesn’t just have a namby-pamby “program” to battle skin cancer — it’s actually one of Commissioner Bud Selig’s pet projects, Selig himself diagnosed with skin cancer in 2004.)

Maybe The City Comptroller Can Take Over The Property From EDC . . .

That would be a switch! Funny how that sometimes works out:

One of the biggest water bill deadbeats in New York City is the Economic Development Corporation, according to an audit released by the city comptroller’s office on Monday.

William C. Thompson Jr., the comptroller, said that the corporation had not paid any water or sewer bills for 22 years at the Brooklyn Army Terminal in Sunset Park, Brooklyn, a building of commercial and light industrial space controlled by the corporation.

The unpaid bills totaled $4.5 million.

In a press conference, Mr. Thompson said he was outraged that the agency was so delinquent, not only in failing to pay its bills but also in not contacting the city’s Department of Environmental Protection, which runs the water system, since 1989.

Please, No $5 Footlong Jokes

A slackening economy leads to some creative remedies:

While Cousin Vinny’s Way, a so-called dining delight, at 2726 East Tremont Avenue, is dishing out what owner Anthony Agnello calls the “highest quality meats,” it’s what he identifies as his “high quality females” that have community members on edge.

In an attempt to ambiguously advertise his newest venture, Agnello, 48, stated in a highly publicized flyer that in the evenings his “seemingly harmless sub shop becomes the wildly, erotic and explicit, all nude private club, Cousin Vinny’s Little Secret.”

The “secret” club, which he describes to be located in the rear, private entrance of the restaurant, boldly offers unlimited access to “live action from some of the most beautiful young ladies.”

. . .

Agnello previously owned a Subway restaurant up the block before the corporate office pulled his franchise in May.

Local merchants, who wish to remain anonymous for fear of retaliation, said the franchise cancellation came after Agnello refused to remove mobster-type décor from the establishment.

The unique decorations, including a gun on the store’s awning, are a fixture of his newest establishment and though he claims he was “disenfranchised due to politics and differences of opinion as far as marketing is concerned,” he still maintains Subway’s official advertisements, slightly obstructed by personal stickers for originality.

Subway’s corporate office was unavailable for comment.

The unexpected promise to “please” local residents comes not so conveniently during Westchester Square’s diligent revitalization efforts, an action a local official said is inexcusable.

“At a time when the local merchant community is finally coming together to spruce up the square, the last thing in the world that we need is an adult nightclub in our midst,” Councilman Jimmy Vacca said.

We Are The New York Yankees . . . When We Give Our Word, We Will Do It

Because yeah, this is how the Yankees roll:

Alexander Martinez, a 35-year-old Hartford, Conn., resident, made headlines last August for his remarkable feat of catching two long balls in one game. First, he grabbed Hideki Matsui’s 100th big league homer — and later, he snatched a dinger off the bat of Melky Cabrera.

Martinez said he turned over the milestone Matsui ball to Yankees security man Bill Shaw.

In return, Martinez said, Shaw promised him an autographed Matsui ball, the bat Godzilla used to hammer the historic homer and 15 tickets to this season’s All-Star Game — the last at Yankee Stadium.

Martinez got an autographed ball and bat but hasn’t seen any All-Star tickets or an authentication letter for the bat.

Despite using an attorney to reach out to the Yankees, Martinez insisted he would never file a suit against his favorite team.

“I don’t want to go there. As many times as I can tell you, I’m a diehard Yankees fan,” Martinez told The Post.

“I’m not into any money or anything like that. I just want what was promised to me.”

Martinez said he asked Shaw to put their deal in ink. But he quoted Shaw as responding: “We are the New York Yankees. When we give our word, we will do it.”