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Never Trust A Man Who Gets That Excited About A Wiretap

The idea that this is somehow better only makes it seem worse:

Sifting for clues in the wreckage of Eliot Spitzer’s stunning, sordid prostitution scandal — and trying to make sense of what no doubt will always contain a large element of pure insanity — that old mob investigation offers a vivid glimpse into the suddenly ex-governor’s psyche. “I don’t think [the prostitutes] were so much about the sex,” says one man who worked closely with Spitzer for many years and thought he knew him well. “There’s definitely an element of self-destruction. There’s complete ‘the rules don’t apply to me’; it’s very arrogant. But Eliot loves covert ops. He always has. The most animated or excited he ever gets is when he talks about running the sting on the Gambino family.”

Posted: March 17th, 2008 | Filed under: Insert Muted Trumpet's Sad Wah-Wah Here, Tragicomic, Ironic, Obnoxious Or Absurd

Somewhere In Lower Manhattan, A Man In His Mid- To Late-30s Remembers A Song From The ’80s That Had A Not-So-Terrible Guitar Hook And Something To Do With Rats; He Turns To His Colleague And — Strumming Air Guitar Furiously — Screams Out This Lyric . . .

. . . “Like Romeo to Juliet/Time and time, I’m gonna make you mine.” His friend scratches his head, because he was (is) a big Ratt fan, and knows that the very next line is “I’ve had enough, we’ve had enough/It’s all the same,” but no matter, since most people only internalize snippets of lyrics, and besides, he came to the sad conclusion long, long ago that Ratt were probably a bunch of high-school dropout goons with little sense of internal logic, but that’s all beside the point on this particular day, he thinks, because he understands his friend’s sentiment, which is something along the lines of “what comes around goes around,” etc., etc. or whatever:

Cheers erupted on trading floors around the city yesterday as word spread of the stunning downfall of Gov. Spitzer — who spent most of his term as attorney general torturing Wall Street with his witch hunt for financial wrongdoing.

An employee of a major investment bank, who requested anonymity, said the company chef had been instructed to break out bottles of champagne so that the staff could party and swap jokes about “client No. 9.”

Meanwhile, at another giant firm, Merrill Lynch, “everyone broke into cheering on the trading floor,” an employee said. Merrill got socked for hundreds of millions of dollars in penalties, thanks to Spitzer.

Traders were on such a high that stocks rallied for about a half-hour. Then the laughs wore off and the gloom returned for a down day.

Posted: March 11th, 2008 | Filed under: Tragicomic, Ironic, Obnoxious Or Absurd, Well, What Did You Expect?

He Should Have Taken Them To Planned Parenthood . . . Sorry, Was That Out Loud?

The cab driver who delivered an infant to safety after becoming the unwitting participant in a nurse-and-dash scheme seems to have made up parts of the story as a cover up and has been arrested:

In a stunning turnaround, the cabby hailed as a hero for delivering an “abandoned” baby to a Queens firehouse Thursday was arrested yesterday for making up the heart-wrenching story.

In a dramatic jailhouse confession to The Post, livery cabdriver Klever Sailema, 45, said he was only trying to help the infant.

“I feel really bad. It wasn’t my intention to hurt anybody,” a shaken Sailema said from a holding cell in Kew Gardens yesterday. “We did it so that the girl would be well cared for. I just wanted to help.”

The cabby, a father of three from Elmhurst said that he kept up the ruse because “every time I lied I thought it would end there.

“I felt terrible. In my heart I knew it wasn’t right. It was a mistake.”

Sailema allegedly teamed up with the child’s dad, Carlos Rodas, 27, and paternal aunt, Maria Siavichay, to enact a bizarre plot to get rid of the kid, dubbed “Lourdes,” but whose real name is Daniella Perez, after the little girl’s 14-year-old mother said she could no longer handle being a mom, police sources said.

The plot unraveled late Friday night, when a neighbor who spotted the baby girl’s picture in the newspapers called cops.

. . .

Sailema told The Post that Siavichay, a waitress in his neighborhood, asked him for a ride to work Thursday, as she frequently does.

But when he arrived at her apartment at 7:30 a.m., she walked out carrying a baby in her arms along with Rodas, whom he had never met. All three got in the back of the cab.

Sailema initially thought that the baby, whom Siavichay had mentioned before, was sick and therefore Siavichay was taking the tot to work with her.

“The father said, ‘I know you don’t know me, but I need to ask you a favor. Can you take my girl to the fire station?’ ” Sailema told The Post.

Rodas wouldn’t take the child himself, because he “had a problem with the courts,” Sailema said.

“At that point I knew they were talking about bringing her to a safe place,” the cabby added.

Sailema dropped off the dad, a construction worker, a few blocks away and then headed to Queens.

A few blocks from the firehouse, Sailema said, Siavichay became worried because “she did not have [immigration] papers” and asked Sailema to drop her at work and take the baby to the firehouse — Engine 289 in Elmhurst — alone.

Just before 10 a.m., the cabby arrived at the firehouse. “That’s when I invented the story,” he told The Post.

. . .

“I don’t know how I committed a crime,” said an exasperated Sailema.

Posted: March 2nd, 2008 | Filed under: Jerk Move, Just Horrible, Tragicomic, Ironic, Obnoxious Or Absurd

Pats, Giants Work To Out-Obnoxious Each Other

The Patriots get cocky . . . the Giants stay cockier:

If the Giants win the Super Bowl on Sunday, the city is prepared to throw them a party.

Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly said plans are in the works for a victory parade and ceremony to take place on Tuesday following the big game.

The parade would start at 10 a.m. at the U.S. Custom House and travel uptown on Broadway to City Hall, where grandstands would seat 5,000 fans for a 1 p.m. celebration ceremony.

Posted: February 1st, 2008 | Filed under: Sports, Tragicomic, Ironic, Obnoxious Or Absurd

“Hate” Is A Strong Word For It . . .

Well now isn’t that cute:

With all the peace, love and unity in the air at the Petrides school auditorium during yesterday’s “Day Out Against Hate” assembly, one couldn’t help but think of the feud between Borough President James P. Molinaro and District Attorney Daniel Donovan.

Both men attended yesterday’s event, the first time they have been together at a public event since Molinaro went nuclear on his former deputy in the final weeks of Donovan’s recent re-election campaign.

But unlike Martin and Lewis, or Yogi and Steinbrenner, there was no public rapprochement between the two yesterday. They did not speak.

. . .

Molinaro said he didn’t see any incongruity between the theme of yesterday’s event and the feud that he set in motion. “I don’t dislike the man,” he said afterward. “I don’t hate the man. I felt what I felt. It is what it is.”

When asked if he would make some overture to Donovan to mend the rift, Molinaro said, “There hasn’t been close contact for years, so why go there?”

Posted: November 30th, 2007 | Filed under: Staten Island, Tragicomic, Ironic, Obnoxious Or Absurd
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