Bloomberg Could Do Something Classy Here . . .

. . . my guess is he won’t though:

Getting salt rubbed into his wounds, defeated mayoral candidate William Thompson faces $531,975 in potential fines for illegal posting of campaign signs, new Sanitation Department records show.

Thompson’s Democratic mayoral campaign plastered 8,665 signs on street poles and other city property, the records say, resulting in 7,093 separate summonses, each carrying a $75 fine.

See also: Bloomberg For Mayor 2009.

Now You Know Why You Can No Longer Eat At Houston’s

Calorie counts:

Launched in July 2008, the rules require calorie listings at any chain with substantially similar menus and more than 15 locations nationwide.

That largely affects fast-food outlets such as McDonald’s and Dunkin’ Donuts — but it also covers some high-priced steakhouses and other top-end eateries with just a handful of New York locations.

. . .

“These laws started in McDonald’s, and I think they should stay in McDonald’s,” said tourist Michelle Dedriazia, 49, of Pittsburgh, who likes visiting fancy steakhouses when she comes to New York.

“If you are going to a nice place, you should not be told this type of information. I don’t know why they do this in New York City. It doesn’t make sense.”

None of the upscale eateries contacted by the Daily News responded to requests for comment. But one California-based chain was so opposed to the requirement that it changed its name and menu just to get around the rules.

Houston’s renamed its two Manhattan locations “Hillstone” late last year and changed the recipes of several items after the rules took effect. When Health Department officials charged the chain with violating the law, Houston’s successfully brought in cooks and executives to prove the offerings at its Park Ave. South and E. 53rd St. locations are different.

“We, after meeting with them, withdrew the violation,” said Tom Merrill, general counsel for the Health Department.

Less Technocrat Than Technorat

Bloomberg’s grand campaign promise to install Coca-Cola in the city’s drinking fountains meets reality, and the newly minted third termer reverts to vague pledges to use “technology” in some shape or form to fix stuff:

A day after winning reelection, Mayor Bloomberg on Thursday seemed to step back from a campaign proposal to have free crosstown bus service.

The “real issue” at the core of the no-fare proposal was speeding bus travel by reducing time spent boarding passengers, Bloomberg noted.

That goal might be achieved through technology, Bloomberg said after touring the city’s 311 call center with MTA Chairman Jay Walder.

Look No Further Than Bloomberg . . .

. . . when it comes to the shocking rise in Santeria sacrifices in the city over the past year. It seems everyone is resorting to whatever means necessary to rid the city of this tremendous curse:

An emaciated goat wandering Pelham Bay Park. A pig’s head placed on a desolate street near the Green-Wood Cemetery. A dead rooster lying near a tree in Forest Park in Queens.

These bizarre discoveries have popped up with shocking frequency this year, making Big Apple parks look like makeshift sacrificial altars and grazing grounds for livestock left over from religious rituals.

In the last few months, four goats have been found in public places in The Bronx. And a total of six were found in the city in the last year, according to Animal Care and Control. That’s on top of 19 reported incidents of animal remains found in parkland, according to the Parks Department.

See also: Bloomberg For Mayor 2009.

A Few Trees Go A Long Way

By shifting the narrative toward the ameliorative effect of trees on the cityscape, the mayor has opened up a new line of argument for people throughout the five boroughs:

A Bronx strip club owner is under fire from Long Island City community leaders for his plans to open a gentleman’s club that could feature all-nude girls near the Queensboro Bridge.

Gus Drakopoulos, who operates Sin City in the Bronx, plans to open a club featuring full nudity if the local community board tries to block his liquor license. By law, a club that serves liquor can have only topless women.

“He’s a thoroughly disingenuous guy with a total disrespect for this community,” said attorney Pat O’Brien, a member of Community Board 2. “It’s totally polarized the community. We’ve been trying for decades to make this a better place.”

Drakopoulos said his Bronx club, next to the Major Deegan Expressway, has made the community a better place by illuminating the block and planting trees on the desolate street.

“We took a concrete, deserted neighborhood and brought life to it,” he said. “There were weeds 5 feet high, car parts and tires everywhere.”