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Meanwhile, The Pigs Are Probably Like “Stay Way The Hell Away From Me”

It’s tough these days to be a pig in this town:

There they stood, Tabitha and Sabrina, the loneliest animals at the Queens Zoo in Flushing.

Despite the name “swine flu,” it’s extremely rare for humans to be infected by being near a pig.

But most people don’t know that, so Tabitha and Sabrina, two female hogs, were left all but ostracized yesterday, along with their Vietnamese pot-bellied pal, Barbie.

Posted: April 29th, 2009 | Filed under: Queens, We're All Gonna Die!

Give Me Back My West Nile!

No, it’s not just a coincidence, it’s probably actually swine flu:

A group of Queens high school students likely brought Mexico’s deadly swine flu epidemic to the city after they went on a wild spring-break party to Cancun earlier this month.

Some seniors from St. Francis Prep in Fresh Meadows took the trip over Easter hiatus two weeks ago. Days later, an outbreak of flu-like symptoms erupted at the school, leaving about 200 kids complaining of being ill.

Yesterday, city health officials confirmed that eight students “have probable human swine influenza” after testing positive for Influenza A, which officials say causes the swine strain of disease.

Posted: April 26th, 2009 | Filed under: Queens, We're All Gonna Die!

OK, Now You’re Freaking Me Out

CBS2 is wondering whether a big flu outbreak at a school in Queens is swine-like:

As many as 75 students at St. Francis Preparatory School in Queens got sick on Thursday. More got sick on Friday. What health officials want to know is was it swine flu or something more benign.

There are mounting fears about a deadly swine flu virus that is reported to have killed as many as 60 people in Mexico, one that health officials fear has already seeped into the United States.

St. Francis Prep was ordered to cancel an evening program Friday night because the New York City Department of Health isn’t sure what made students sick Thursday and Friday with flu-like symptoms.

“I just saw lot a lot of kids lined up along the wall near the nurse’s office,” sophomore Kelsey Dittmeir said.

If it’s the flu, the question is what kind of flu? And could it be the unique strain suspected in 20 recent deaths?

Tests are underway.

Posted: April 25th, 2009 | Filed under: Queens, We're All Gonna Die!

If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another

End of the world scenarios, now with added earthquakes:

The trio of earthquakes that surprised New Jersey over the past month has seismologists wondering what’s next — and they say it doesn’t look good.

They call the geological fault lines crisscrossing Manhattan a perfect storm for a temblor that could topple older buildings, cause billions of dollars in damages and kill people citywide.

New York has survived at least three quakes measuring 5.0 on the Richter scale, but two of them hit back in the 1700s and the other centered on Coney Island in 1884, toppling chimneys.

The city should expect a jolt like that last one every 100 years, the experts warn — which means we’re overdue. Jersey’s recent baby quakes, which caused no damage and failed to rise above 3.0 in magnitude, may have been warning shots, they say.

A 6.0-magnitude quake could cause as much as $200 billion in damages, according to a 2003 study by the New York City Area Consortium for Earthquake Loss Mitigation.

Posted: February 22nd, 2009 | Filed under: We're All Gonna Die!

Like Phone Numbers

Or an absurdly high caloric intake:

We interrupt coverage of the collapse of just about everything in sight to bring truly shocking news about the seven-digit numbers recently posted in chain restaurants.

It turns out that they are not quite what they seem to be at first glance, said Mahmuda Mukti, manager of a Popeye’s on 125th Street in Manhattan.

“Sometimes the customers look at it, and think they’re telephone numbers,” Ms. Mukti said. “I say to them, ‘That’s not phone numbers, that’s calories.'”

By city regulation, the chains have been required since July to disclose the range of calories contained in each item or meal. So, for instance, a very telephonelike number, 880-1545, is listed next to the three-piece chicken meal combo, with the range depending on the side dishes. You might think that it would be hard to pile 1,500 calories into a single meal — close to the daily recommended amount for many women — but you would be drastically wrong.

Khaliqya Terry, 18, easily hit four digits as she worked through a late afternoon lunch on Friday. She had three pieces of chicken, Cajun-battered fries, a small container of mashed potato with gravy, a biscuit and a medium cup of Hi-C.

“I didn’t know they had the calories up there,” said Ms. Terry, a high school student. “How much is mine?”

At least 1,545, maybe more, she was told.

“Is that bad?” she asked.

Bad or good, it’s close to a day’s worth.

She laughed and slammed her hand into the arm of her boyfriend, who had headphones on. “Michael, this is supposed to be the calories for the whole day,” she said. They would probably eat dinner at McDonald’s, she said.

. . .

At the Popeye’s, Dawn Henry’s jaw actually dropped when she saw that the breast, wings and fries ran from 735 to 1,400 calories.

“This really would make you not want to buy it,” said Ms. Henry, 32. She glanced up again at the menu.

“But, oh well,” she said, stepping up to place her order anyway.

Posted: December 21st, 2008 | Filed under: Feed, Things That Make You Go "Oy", We're All Gonna Die!
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