And Now You Really Have Seen Everything

Otter found, or more accurately, got hit by a car on Staten Island:

But how a 25-pound North American River Otter made his way into Bloomfield waterways before being hit by a car on South Avenue sometime Saturday is as much of a mystery as whether there are more otters playing and swimming in borough streams and estuaries. The semi-aquatic animal probably thrived here centuries ago, but the population virtually disappeared with urbanization, pollution and over trapping by early settlers: Until now, there had never been an otter sighting recorded in New York City, according to the state Department of Environmental Conservation.

If I Only Knew That They Were Perfectly Clean, This Could Be Really Cool

They’re selling those grimy wooden benches that have sat on subway platforms for years:

Those iconic wooden subway benches — which have served straphangers and the homeless for generations — now can be yours for a mere $650.

The Metropolitan Transportation Authority will put decades-old benches up for sale as they are replaced by stainless steel models the authority is about to begin installing in stations.

“Get set to enjoy the ambiance of the New York City transit system,” Mike Zacchea, assistant chief operations officer with the NYC Transit division, said.

Finally, An Elected Official With The Vision To Make The Most Of The Office Of The Comptroller

Reaching new heights of whoring:

It also did not escape notice that Mr. Liu’s address — called a State of the City speech, mimicking the mayor’s traditional prerogative — was something that had apparently never been delivered before by a city comptroller.

Did we mention his vision?

But perhaps the loudest applause came when Mr. Liu twice praised the Knicks star Jeremy Lin.

And Here Is A Perfect Epigraph For The Bloomberg Adminisration

The only things worse than overzealous bureaucrats are overzealous bureaucrats who bend rules:

The city’s initial reaction, reported by The New York Post, was to say it would be the last Sardi’s meal enjoyed by any champion dog.

But the health department did not want to create a tempest in a doggie dish, and by Thursday morning it had discovered a loophole: A waiver from the commissioner.

The health department said one would be granted for next year’s champion, so the tradition can go on. Next year’s winner can enjoy the same kind of lunch as Malachy and these winners from past years.

Because The Only Thing That Would Make The Third Term Even Worse Is If He Skipped Out On It

To paraphrase Colin Powell, who paraphrased the Pottery Barn, you break it, you own it:

There are only a hand full of jobs that Mayor Bloomberg has publicly coveted and now one of them is open — presidency of the World Bank.

But mayoral aides said Bloomberg — who still has more than 22 months left to go in his third term — won’t be rushing off a resume.

“People have approached him many times,” said mayoral spokesman Stu Loeser. “People have asked his views on the World Bank. Intermediaries (have sounded him out) to see if he’s interested.”

In each instance, Loeser said Bloomberg responded that’s he’s committed to completing his elective term.