{"id":115,"date":"2011-02-01T13:32:39","date_gmt":"2011-02-01T18:32:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/?p=115"},"modified":"2011-03-01T19:07:20","modified_gmt":"2011-03-02T00:07:20","slug":"the-penises-of-ancient-egypt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/2011\/02\/01\/the-penises-of-ancient-egypt\/","title":{"rendered":"The Penises Of Ancient Egypt"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The thousands and thousands of wall carvings in temples throughout Egypt kind of become a blur after a while. Don&#039;t get me wrong &#8212; they&#039;re beautiful and you kind of lose yourself in them as you walk through temple after temple &#8212; but there are a lot of them:<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/bigmap\/outoftown\/egypt\/komombo\/komombotemple\/3301-02-11.jpg\" alt=\"Kom Ombo Temple, Kom Ombo, Egypt\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/bigmap\/outoftown\/egypt\/luxor\/luxortemple\/03601-02-11.jpg\" alt=\"Luxor Temple, Luxor, Egypt\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Most (all?) of the carvings were originally painted. Some still retain their colors, providing a perspective you don&#039;t usually associate with the carvings:<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/bigmap\/outoftown\/egypt\/luxor\/medinethabu\/4201-03-11.jpg\" alt=\"Medinet Habu\/Temple of Ramesses III, West Bank, Luxor, Egypt\" \/><\/p>\n<p>But the unpainted carvings are also striking in how modern they look &#8212; the bas reliefs of graceful figures look like art deco. I guess then I should say that art deco borrowed from the Egyptian temples. If so, I can see it for sure.<\/p>\n<p>At one point I wondered if the carvings were overkill. The folks who did the Mortuary Temple of Ramesses III on the West Bank of modern-day Luxor kind of went to extremes to praise the Pharaoh&#039;s achievements. After a while it&#039;s like, we get it! With <em>so<\/em> many vanquished armies he&#039;s clearly the greatest of all time:<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/bigmap\/outoftown\/egypt\/luxor\/medinethabu\/5901-03-11.jpg\" alt=\"Medinet Habu\/Temple of Ramesses III, West Bank, Luxor, Egypt\" \/><\/p>\n<p>And then I wondered whether contemporary audiences thought of the carvings as a kind of endless text that they could probably just skim. Sort of like a boring <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Jenny_Holzer\">Jenny Holzer<\/a> installation.<\/p>\n<p>&#034;Mesmerizing&#034; might be an apt way to put it, because you just get overwhelmed by the craftsmanship. If you&#039;re like me, you zone out after seeing so many of them. Until you get to the penises.<\/p>\n<p>This carving from a wall in Kom Ombo Temple north of Aswan depicts, if memory serves, medical ailments. The intention &#8212; again, if memory serves (maybe someone can help me out here) &#8212; is that the lower penis is more aged than the upper penis, and less able to either ejaculate or urinate correctly &#8212; thus the impaired five drops versus the normal seven drops:<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/bigmap\/outoftown\/egypt\/komombo\/komombotemple\/1801-02-11.jpg\" alt=\"Kom Ombo Temple, Kom Ombo, Egypt\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/bigmap\/outoftown\/egypt\/komombo\/komombotemple\/1701-02-11.jpg\" alt=\"Kom Ombo Temple, Kom Ombo, Egypt\" \/><\/p>\n<p>This image from the Luxor Temple shows a carving of the fertility god Min, whose penis is in danger of being rubbed away to the sands of time (no, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=vCCs_41-boo\">for reals<\/a>):<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/bigmap\/outoftown\/egypt\/luxor\/luxortemple\/04701-02-11.jpg\" alt=\"Luxor Temple, Luxor, Egypt\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/bigmap\/outoftown\/egypt\/luxor\/luxortemple\/04801-02-11.jpg\" alt=\"Luxor Temple, Luxor, Egypt\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Finally, this carving from the Mortuary Temple of Ramesses III within the Medinet Habu complex on the West Bank of Luxor depicts Ramesses III&#039;s desire to see his enemies&#039; penises, because for Ramesses III (we were told) it wasn&#039;t enough to merely see their dismembered hands &#8212; apparently there was a racket going on among his troops where they&#039;d chop off the hands of any old person and present them as the real deal. A load of penises, on the other hand &#8212; well, what more proof do you need that an enemy army is truly vanquished?<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/bigmap\/outoftown\/egypt\/luxor\/medinethabu\/2301-03-11.jpg\" alt=\"Medinet Habu\/Temple of Ramesses III, West Bank, Luxor, Egypt\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I finally asked our guide whether his tours were always so penis focused.<\/p>\n<p>&#034;Simple,&#034; Tommy said without skipping a beat, &#034;I can tell what you all are interested in.&#034;<\/p>\n<p>And it&#039;s true! Nothing perks up a dry tour like several-thousand-year-old penis carvings. It&#039;s the perfect jumping off point to get across information about the history of this pharaoh or that.<\/p>\n<p>Tommy was a great guide and spent as much time as we wanted answering every question we asked him. He made us call him &#034;Tommy&#034; because he said it was easier to pronounce than his real name, which I thought was something along the lines of &#034;Tamir,&#034; though I&#039;m not really sure because to us he was Tommy. And when he found out that I recently got my sightseeing license, he even made a special point to impart tips and wisdom about the field. He was very cool.<\/p>\n<p>I think I also said before that we didn&#039;t really ask him about the political environment in Egypt. It wasn&#039;t that he wouldn&#039;t have answered but rather that &#8212; for me, at least &#8212; it just didn&#039;t seem germane; I guess I imagined he might be circumspect about answering a bunch of questions about Egyptian political life, especially for a busload of tourists he was carting around for less than a week.<\/p>\n<p>And besides, something about all those images of Mubarak everywhere really puts a damper on things &#8212; not that political life isn&#039;t a legitimate point of inquiry, and one that guides must be asked about all the time, but how candid do you think he&#039;s going to be when those sunglasses peer at you from all corners of the country?<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/bigmap\/outoftown\/egypt\/cairo\/giza\/0301-04-11.jpg\" alt=\"Hosni Mubarak Picture, Giza, Cairo, Egypt\" \/><\/p>\n<p>And what exactly do you ask someone &#8212; &#034;Hey, what&#039;s with all those creepy images of Mubarak?&#034; A question like that easily sounds like you think they live in North Korea or something.<\/p>\n<p>Today is the eighth day of protests in Egypt and they still don&#039;t seem like they&#039;re losing momentum. And if I&#039;ve been glib about conveying my feelings, or if pictures of penises seem like they minimize the gravity of the moment, that&#039;s not my intention. We met so many nice people in our nine-plus days visiting Egypt and we&#039;ve been thinking about all of them now that we&#039;re safe at home and following the news reports from afar. Even <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/2011\/01\/28\/all-of-egypt-is-an-irish-kitchen\/\">the creepy dude in Luxor<\/a> &#8212; I hope they&#039;re all safe and hopeful that something truly remarkable might happen there.<\/p>\n<p>See also the Big Map: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/bigmap\/blog\/2011\/02\/28\/egyptjordan-december-27-2010-january-11-2011\/\">Egypt\/Jordan, December 27, 2010-January 11, 2011<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The thousands and thousands of wall carvings in temples throughout Egypt kind of become a blur after a while. Don&#039;t get me wrong &#8212; they&#039;re beautiful and you kind of lose yourself in them as you walk through temple after temple &#8212; but there are a lot of them: Most (all?) of the carvings were [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[271],"tags":[337,272,334,332,333,336,335],"class_list":["post-115","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-national-geographical","tag-egyptian-political-life","tag-grand-egypt-jordan-adventure","tag-on-whether-jenny-holzers-art-is-boring","tag-penis-carvings-in-ancient-egyptian-temples","tag-the-enormous-self-regard-of-ramesses-iii","tag-tour-guide-wisdom-and-tips","tag-why-settle-for-dismembered-hands-when-you-can-also-chop-off-their-penises"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/115","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=115"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/115\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":116,"href":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/115\/revisions\/116"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=115"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=115"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=115"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}