{"id":887,"date":"2015-10-08T00:34:17","date_gmt":"2015-10-08T04:34:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/?p=887"},"modified":"2015-10-08T00:34:17","modified_gmt":"2015-10-08T04:34:17","slug":"annotated-twitter-concave-annoyance-or-rigid-act-of-uselessness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/2015\/10\/08\/annotated-twitter-concave-annoyance-or-rigid-act-of-uselessness\/","title":{"rendered":"Annotated Twitter: Concave Annoyance Or Rigid Act Of Uselessness"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>April 5, 2015<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" lang=\"en\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Thank god. I&#39;ve been waiting *all night* to finally settle in to watch another supremely edifying episode of 1st Look.<\/p>\n<p>&mdash; Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/batclub\/status\/584583305128976387\">April 5, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>The PR-Industrial Complex hard at work to kill what&#039;s left of your barely smoldering Saturday night buzz.<\/p>\n<p>. . . . . . . . . . .<\/p>\n<p><strong>April 7, 2015<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" lang=\"en\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Just now learning correct spelling of &quot;Rosco P. Coltrane.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&mdash; Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/batclub\/status\/585509449072259073\">April 7, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>I would have thought <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Sheriff_Rosco_P._Coltrane\">it<\/a>&#039;d have an &#034;e&#034; at the end, but <a href=\"http:\/\/www.avclub.com\/article\/rip-james-best-sheriff-rosco-p-coltrane-dukes-hazz-217656\">no matter<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>. . . . . . . . . . .<\/p>\n<p><strong>April 14, 2015<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" lang=\"en\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">A faulty scraper (spatula).<\/p>\n<p>&mdash; Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/batclub\/status\/587854003200983040\">April 14, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" lang=\"en\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">An incompetent spatula (scraper).<\/p>\n<p>&mdash; Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/batclub\/status\/587970308616933376\">April 14, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>Spatula or scraper? That concave annoyance or rigid act of uselessness?<\/p>\n<p>. . . . . . . . . . .<\/p>\n<p><strong>April 16, 2015<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" lang=\"en\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Channeling Dave Barry and pondering what the neighborhood butcher is shielding us from when they proudly say they sell &quot;all-natural meat.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>&mdash; Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/batclub\/status\/588689715886428160\">April 16, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>And, look, let&#039;s be frank &#8212; it&#039;s not just one but rather all of them.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" lang=\"en\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Topping notches all day long.<\/p>\n<p>&mdash; Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/batclub\/status\/588737612120248320\">April 16, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>Perhaps you&#039;ve experienced &#034;top-notch pizza,&#034; &#034;top-notch cocktails,&#034; or even &#034;top-notch bowling.&#034; My friends, notches topped in defense of freedom are no vice.<\/p>\n<p>. . . . . . . . . . .<\/p>\n<p><strong>April 17, 2015<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" lang=\"en\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Jarecki dissecting Durst&#39;s ridiculous bullshit is on the background while I&#39;m sort of watching AZ maybe defeating SF; feeling very edgy.<\/p>\n<p>&mdash; Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/batclub\/status\/588937680819486720\">April 17, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>MLB Extra Innings + HBOGO = uh, this.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" lang=\"en\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">24 comfortable, chic spring shoes under $300.<\/p>\n<p>&mdash; Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/batclub\/status\/588947012894195712\">April 17, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>And then we get prickly about Twitterrific &#034;top-[blank]&#034; lists . . .<\/p>\n<p><strong>April 18, 2015<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" lang=\"en\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">One day I will read an epigraph, completely understand the reference and\/or deeper meaning and proceed to enjoy a brilliant work of art.<\/p>\n<p>&mdash; Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/batclub\/status\/589294529402052608\">April 18, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>Have you ever &#8212; ever &#8212; in all your years of reading, understood what monumental onslaught of transcendent brilliance an epigraph was meant to impart on your to-be-determined reading experience? I feel guilty about skipping them, then try to sit there and divine some sort of goddamn meaning only to quickly give up and start a book without ever thinking about the epigraph ever again. At best, epigraphs are a masturbatory exercise on the part of the writer to &#034;prove&#034; that he or she, I don&#039;t know, maybe makes use of those vestigial college paperbacks still cluttering bookshelves? There is no &#034;at worst&#034; because epigraphs are already &#034;at worst.&#034; In short, feel free to gratuitously ponder over your precious epigraph, because America does not give a fuck. Honestly, I don&#039;t remember what book it was that set me over the edge.<\/p>\n<p>. . . . . . . . . .<\/p>\n<p><strong>April 19, 2015<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" lang=\"en\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">One fundamental difference between Rembrandt\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s self-portraits and the selfies of today, scholars note . . .<\/p>\n<p>&mdash; Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/batclub\/status\/589663247609028608\">April 19, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" lang=\"en\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">. . . is that the artist\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s renderings involved a long process of self-examination that was both very deliberate and usually solitary.<\/p>\n<p>&mdash; Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/batclub\/status\/589663303657488384\">April 19, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2015\/04\/17\/arts\/international\/with-rembrandt-the-selfie-takes-on-new-meaning.html\">Fucking clickbait<\/a>.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" lang=\"en\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Watch it, kid. I have &quot;Tears in Heaven&quot; stuck in my head.<\/p>\n<p>&mdash; Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/batclub\/status\/589772143107399680\">April 19, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>First, you have to assume the worst about artists who mine personal tragedy for creative purposes. Then you have to visit the local supermarket first thing on a Sunday morning in order to take a child out of a situation in which he might (did) potentially wake up his suitemate\/sibling by GETTING UP SO FUCKING EARLY IN THE MORNING. They had &#034;Tears in Heaven&#034; on the sound system. Heh.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" lang=\"en\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Early Sunday morning walk, studiously avoiding pressure washer mist from live poultry store.<\/p>\n<p>&mdash; Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/batclub\/status\/589772389069688832\">April 19, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>I&#039;m assuming Jane Jacobs had this in mind when she wrote &#034;The ballet of the good city sidewalk never repeats itself from place to place, and in any once place is always replete with new improvisations.&#034;<\/p>\n<p>. . . . . . . . . .<\/p>\n<p><strong>April 22, 2015<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" lang=\"en\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Status: Trying very hard to care about your mobile experience.<\/p>\n<p>&mdash; Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/batclub\/status\/590866657658146816\">April 22, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>People everywhere love &#034;double meanings,&#034; when in reality they&#039;re lazy, facile and intellectually moronic. And of course I cannot stop whittling away at them to craft the best, most annoying ones of all time.<\/p>\n<p>. . . . . . . . . .<\/p>\n<p><strong>April 27, 2015<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" lang=\"en\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Most people are rooting for A-Rod to end his career with 666 home runs, right?<\/p>\n<p>&mdash; Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/batclub\/status\/592810869886722048\">April 27, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>My sense was, yes, yes, of course they were.<\/p>\n<p>. . . . . . . . . .<\/p>\n<p><strong>April 29, 2015<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" lang=\"en\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Watching DeAndre Jordan sweat through free throws is actually surprisingly entertaining, sort of like shitty reality TV.<\/p>\n<p>&mdash; Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/batclub\/status\/593274571735887873\">April 29, 2015<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>In other words, picking up the pivot foot to pay fleeting attention to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.si.com\/nba\/game\/2015\/04\/28\/spurs-clippers-tuesday-april-28th-2015\">the early rounds of the NBA playoffs<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><em>The Spurs intentionally fouled Jordan three times late in the first half, resuming the divisive strategy that even Popovich claims he uses reluctantly. Jordan, a dismal free-throw shooter, missed four of six before Rivers pulled him out. San Antonio committed five more intentional fouls against Jordan in the third quarter before Rivers pulled him again. He finished 7 for 16 at the line.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>April 5, 2015 Thank god. I&#39;ve been waiting *all night* to finally settle in to watch another supremely edifying episode of 1st Look. &mdash; Bridge + Tunnel Club (@batclub) April 5, 2015 The PR-Industrial Complex hard at work to kill what&#039;s left of your barely smoldering Saturday night buzz. . . . . . . [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[944],"tags":[953,1032,1031,1034,1035,1033],"class_list":["post-887","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-too-much-information","tag-annotated-twitter","tag-grammy-killing","tag-jane-jacobs","tag-notches-topped","tag-the-sinking-feeling-of-the-epigraph","tag-the-theory-of-spatulas"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/887","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=887"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/887\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":889,"href":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/887\/revisions\/889"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=887"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=887"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com\/slightest\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=887"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}