But What A Charming Facade!

The biggest tragedy of this Times article about unairconditioned city schools is that this glorious bit of Times-ese appears in the 13th paragraph. It’s as if the reporter was scared to bring it up front! Is that dripping sweat or condescension? You make the call:

But in New York, with its sometimes majestic but aging schools, the heat’s effect seemed especially pronounced. Classrooms were like ovens by the end of the day, the students inside feeling like they were being slowly sautéed in their own perspiration. There were no reports of serious injuries, but there was misery aplenty.

See, I have qualms aplenty with the mixed metaphor here — shouldn’t it be “Classrooms were like ovens by the end of the day, the students inside feeling like they were being slowly basted in their own perspiration”? Or “Classrooms were like sauté pans by the end of the day, the students inside feeling like they were being slowly braised in their own perspiration”? Get Frank Bruni on the case — he can advise!