Coincidence? Shares in Citigroup opened sharply lower on Monday, March 30 (from $2.62 to $2.31), after Monday morning’s New York Times reminded readers that the MTA renamed the “Shea Stadium” 7 train stop “Mets Baseball” instead of “Citi Field”:

The Mets had sold 30,000 tickets at $5 apiece and had given away another 12,000, but the ugly weather kept many fans away. Those who did show up began filing off the No. 7 train around 10 a.m., following signs from the subway that now read “Mets Baseball” instead of “Shea Stadium.” They pressed up against the gates, taking pictures of the exterior modeled after the Ebbets Field facade, and were soon flooding into the rotunda honoring Jackie Robinson.

Location Scout: Citi Field.

It’s hard to believe they couldn’t have seen this coming:

Mayor Bloomberg’s proposed budget for next year appeared balanced just two months ago, but the city’s Independent Budget Office says the latest economic indicators show it’s now $1.4 billion in the red. IBO director Ronnie Lowenstein says it’s due to a precipitous slide in tax revenues and a deteriorating economy.

From the assignment desk: Square with “City’s massive budget gap hits $23.8B, service cuts, tax hikes likely” (3/18/09).

. . . they’re generally too small for 40-foot-tall Charlie Brown balloons:

From Felix the Cat in 1927 to Bolt the dog in 2008, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade has adapted, over the years, to changing times and cartoon fashions.

But one thing has always been constant: the final stretch of the parade route, down Broadway from Columbus Circle to Herald Square, through crowds lining the Great White Way.

That tradition appears to be doomed. The main culprit is the plan, unveiled last month by Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg, to turn Broadway into a pedestrian-only zone around Times Square and Herald Square this spring. If you can’t drive a car down Broadway, you can’t drive a float down it either

And so the city has begun the process of figuring out where the cat might hang his hat in November. Crain’s New York Business, in its most recent issue, reported that the city was considering shifting the parade to Avenue of the Americas.

Scott Gastel, a spokesman for the Department of Transportation, confirmed on Sunday that “a working group has been assembled on this matter, and recommendations will be made.”

Earlier: “Traffic Calming . . .By Drowning Traffic In The Bathtub Or Shanking Traffic With A Rusty Shiv”.

See Also: Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Freedom’s just another word for nothing else to do:

A bill to be submitted this week in Albany seeks a permanent name change for the tower at Ground Zero, officially declaring it the Freedom Tower.

Brooklyn Sen. Marty Golden is submitting the legislation in defiance of the Port Authority, which owns the site.

Earlier: “Leading Economic Indicator: Delinking Financial Centers From The Concept Of ‘Freedom’”.

Downside is that Star and US Weekly have to travel a lot farther to stalk Ed Westwick. The television industry plays the school library card:

Television shows shot in New York will be going the way of the Betamax if lawmakers don’t allow for film and television industry tax breaks in the new state budget, industry folks say.

“If this program is curtailed in any way, it will force shows to re-evaluate their future in New York,” said one industry executive.

See also: I Don’t Care If You’re Filming, You’re In My Goddamn Way.

It took them a week after running that initial AP report but the Post finally found three examples of local women laid off from “respectable” jobs who now strip, and of course three examples does a trend piece make:

Randi Newton, 28, who lives in Midtown, was a financial analyst at Morgan Stanley before the crash but was fired.

“A few nights after I got laid off, I went with friends to a strip club to get drunk and forget my unemploy ment troubles,” Newton said. “The manager offered me a job as a dancer. I thought it was different. And fun.”

Today, Newton, who calls herself an “independent contractor,” pole dances at Rick’s Cabaret in Murray Hill three or four nights a week and says she makes “$160,000 a year on tips alone.”

“It was very odd seeing a strip club being better run than a major brokerage firm, not to mention I’ve never had problems with sexual harassment at Rick’s,” she said.

Oh my god, it’s like Bill the Butcher will be standing around the corner! Grifters are back:

You’ll never see them coming.

A handful of clever grifters have been scamming unsuspecting passersby in midtown with just a pair of broken glasses, cops warn.

The con artists bump into their mark, flash a pair of prebroken glasses to the ground and then begin angrily demanding cash to pay for the “smashed” specs.

The scam has become so widespread that cops from Manhattan’s Midtown North Precinct put out flyers with the photos of some of the worst scammers — known as “fraudulent accosting recidivists” — for the sheer number of times they have run their schemes.

“The scam is an oldie but a goodie. The victims get flustered and sometimes turn over the cash just to get the suspect to shut up and leave them alone,” a police source said.

Nair (Naim) Jabbar had two pairs of broken eyeglasses in a bag when cops arrested him last month. The ex-con bumped into his latest victim on W. 53rd St. and Fifth Ave., court records show.

“You broke my glasses! You own me $125!” Jabbar, 41, yelled.

But when his victim asked him to come back to his office to figure out a solution, Jabbar slunk off, court papers said.

Jabbar’s 29-year-old lookout, Jshawn Lewis, had $1,478 in cash in his pockets, police said.

Jabbar, who had just been charged in December with an eyeglass scam, was sentenced to 90 days in jail for this last hustle. He gets out April 18.

Or, the inevitable story on metal detector dudes:

The big accessory at the beach this summer might not be sunglasses or a bucket and shovel — but a metal detector.

With the economy at low tide and gold near record highs, the city is likely to see a spike in treasure hunting this season, experts told the Daily News.

“Oh, New York City will be looking at one hell of a gold rush this season,” said Bob Lundy, president of the Empire State Metal Detector Association.

“Treasure hunters will be combing the beaches looking for valuables like never before. Gold is skyrocketing in value, and with unemployment, people have a lot more idle time.”

. . .

Michael Chaplan said sales of his 2005 book, “The Urban Treasure Hunter” — a guide to finding everything from spare change to the Lindbergh ransom money — are up 50%.

“New York City is very good for treasure hunting because it has all the different levels of American civilization this country has ever seen,” he said.

Beaches are prime hunting grounds because people leave behind valuables they stashed under towels, and forget to take off watches before hitting the surf.

“My girlfriend has nice rings on every finger,” Lundy said. “I’m wearing my second Rolex.”

There was always something about “one eight-hundred M-A-T-T-R-E-S” that made you ponder what exactly the last “S” stood for and which also made you sort of forget to actually call in the end:

Once a major borough success story, Long Island City’s 1-800 Mattress has filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy, according to papers filed with the federal bankruptcy court.

Dial-a-Mattress Operating Corporation, which operates 1-800 Mattress, filed for bankruptcy on March 17. The company, which has its headquarters in Long Island City, was founded more than 30 years ago in Jamaica by Ecuadorian native Napoleon Barragan. On March 23, Dial-a-Mattress International Ltd. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, according to papers filed with the federal bankruptcy court.

At least we now know that the company wasn’t also behind the bed bug problem, too, like people have speculated in the past about other businesses.

But an exciting moment almost turned ugly when the sirens and whistles sent everyone to the floor:

An Ohio choirgirl got a big city thrill Friday when she became the 1 millionth person to visit Ground Zero’s tribute museum.

Shaique Gamble stepped over the threshold of the Liberty St. visitor center shortly after 10 a.m. and cheers rang out.

“It was kind of funny and shocking at the same time,” said the 16-year-old, who was wide-eyed but all smiles at the surprise welcome.

“I just expected to come and take a tour and then this happened.”

Because who knows what they might do if worse comes to worst:

Staten Islanders will have to swallow a $13 cash toll on the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge, while drivers in the rest of the city will keep their free ride on the East and Harlem River crossings, if legislative inertia continues to propel the MTA to enact its “Doomsday” budget.

The MTA board approved a 25 to 30 percent fare and toll hike this week, with the Verrazano and other MTA bridges set to go up in July, unless the state Legislature can devise alternate revenue streams to plug a $1.2 billion budget gap. Talks involving a bailout that would entail a payroll tax and tolling the currently free bridges have stalled in the state Senate.

. . .

Meanwhile, toll booths at all four Staten Island bridges already collect more than 6 percent of the nation’s tolls, according to Dr. Jonathan Peters, a finance professor and transportation expert at the College of Staten Island, who has done extensive research on the subject. Toll collection from passenger cars alone coming from only Staten Island ZIP codes accounts for about $65 million in revenue per year at the Verrazano, Peters said.

And without movement from Albany to balance that inequity, Islanders will continue to bear a growing toll burden, despite extremely limited transit options to travel off the Island without a car.

(Then again, Shelly says not to worry . . .)

You know things are bad with our bailed-out economy when the proposed new financial center of the world no longer feels “free”:

The Port Authority is taking the “Freedom” out of the Freedom Tower.

Although the 1,776-foot tower hasn’t been fully built, funded or leased — and won’t be occupied until 2014 — the agency decreed Thursday it will no longer be called the Freedom Tower. It will simply be known as 1 World Trade Center.

“As we market the building, we will ensure that it is presented in the best possible way — and 1 World Trade Center is the address that we’re using,” said PA Chairman Anthony Coscia.

“It’s the one that is easiest for people to identify with — and frankly, we’ve gotten a very interested and warm reception to it.”

The name change for the 102-story, $3.1 billion skyscraper, unveiled after a PA board meeting, drew a sharp rebuke from former Gov. George Pataki, whose April 24, 2003, speech gave the building its brand.

“The Freedom Tower is not simply another piece of real estate and not just a name for marketing purposes,” Pataki said.

“In design and name, it is symbolic of our commitment to rise above the attacks of Sept. 11. Where 1 and 2 World Trade Center once stood, there will be a memorial with two voids to honor the heroes we lost — and, in my view, those addresses should never be used again.”

Mr. Mayor, we don’t mind looking the other way while your Department of Education cooks the books on test scores because ultimately we don’t necessarily care that there isn’t a large difference in results — we only care that school boards are lame and mayoral control makes more sense. That, however, does not give you latitude to come up with ludicrous claims like you have “changed public education as we know it” like you’re Bill Clinton circa 1996 and this is welfare or something because that’s when we check out:

Mayor Bloomberg said yesterday that under his administration, the city has “changed public education as we know it” — and predicted a deal will be reached with state lawmakers to renew mayoral control of the schools.

So now the MTA pulls the school library card — massive cuts! fare hikes! — until the state finally relents:

Under the plan approved Wednesday, the base subway and bus fare rises to $2.50 from $2, with the change taking effect May 31. A monthly MetroCard would cost $103, up from $81. Riders on the Metro-North Railroad and the Long Island Rail Road would see increases of at least 20 to 30 percent, beginning June 1. The fare on Long Island Bus, which serves Nassau County, would rise to $3.50 from $2.

The increases would mean that a person using a bonus pay-per-ride MetroCard solely to commute to and from work during the week would spend an additional $224 a year. A Long Island commuter who travels from Hicksville to Penn Station would pay $267 for a monthly ticket, up from $211, for a total additional cost of $672 a year.

Then there’s this:

CBS 2 took a closer look at the cost of one woman’s commute from New Rochelle to Manhattan. She works at 57th Street and 11th Avenue.

Healthcare executive Terry Cavanaugh changed gears with her commute nine years ago. She started driving to work on Manhattan’s west side after the train-shuttle-subway combination got to be too much.

She added up all the costs –– gas, tolls on the Henry Hudson bridge, and parking — and decided the extra expense was worth it.

“The beauty of this is I’m on my own schedule. If you’re 5 minutes late for the train, too bad, you missed it,” she says.

Today, the cost differential between driving and taking the train is pretty significant, but it’s about to narrow significantly. Currently a monthly pass from New Rochelle to Grand Central Terminal is $169. But that will go up $40 a month under this fare hike plan.

When you add up the current cost of gas, parking in Manhattan, and tolls versus a monthly train pass, parking at the New Rochelle station, and a monthly Metrocard for the subway, driving is $151 more expensive per month.

But after the fare and toll hikes, the car versus train cost difference narrows considerably to $102.

So not only will we have pulled-pork on brioche and $19 cheap seats but fewer little leaguers as well, an obvious plot to gentrify baseball by slowly de-yobbing it. We snobs like that:

For the past four years, Little Leagues throughout the borough have participated in a special day at Shea Stadium where they purchased 1,200 discounted tickets from the Mets and got to lead a parade on the warning track of the field prior to the game.

This year, however, the Mets have told league officials including Bayside Little League President Bob Reid, that the teams may only be able purchase 500 (or less) tickets at full price, and they can’t guarantee they will be able to have the parade on the field prior to the game.

“The Mets organization is telling me that unfortunately we have 15,000 fewer seats, and we can’t do what we have done in the past,” said Reid, who is a longtime Mets fan that recently had the opportunity to tour Citi Field and thinks it’s great. “I think they are just forgetting the little guy.”

This is the first year the Mets will play in Citi Field, which will have a capacity of approximately 42,000 compared to Shea Stadium’s roughly 57,000, so it is more challenging to accommodate large groups for different games. In addition, the club is still working on logistics of the new stadium including field access points, which would factor into the parade that the Little League has each year.

Soon — soon! — Major League Baseball will resemble the opera! Bwahahaha!

Location Scout: Citi Field.

. . . including the dick who wouldn’t take us to the airport just the other day (if you’re truly “off duty,” turn on your fucking off-duty light and don’t pull up when we hail you*): I don’t believe you. I will never believe you. And when people like me believe a city regulatory agency over you, you’re in trouble. So quit complaining and take our credit cards already:

The average cabby works nine and a half hours a day. A cab’s busiest hours are 6 to 8 p.m. And even as the economy has fallen deeper into recession, the number of cab rides each day in New York has remained relatively steady.

Those are among the most vivid bits of information about the yellow cab industry to emerge from a trove of new data collected by the Taxi and Limousine Commission from cabs equipped with new computerized systems that record each trip and fare.

Among the more surprising findings is that credit cards may be saving the industry from feeling the worst effects of the recession.

“The credit card that we put in cabs has helped keep them afloat,” said Matthew Daus, the chairman of the Taxi and Limousine Commission.

By last November, every yellow cab in the city was equipped with a credit card reader — as a part of the new computerized system — and as a result, Mr. Daus said, many corporations that once ordered black cars for their employees have begun telling them instead to take a cab (which costs less) and charge it.

That has hurt the black car business, which was already reeling from the impact of the Wall Street crisis on its main customers, financial services firms. The black car business is down at least 30 percent, Mr. Daus said.

But the shift has helped yellow cabs and appears to have made up for lost business as tourism and air travel have slumped and the disposable income of ordinary New Yorkers has dwindled.

*And yes, I know the drill: Get in the cab before telling the driver where you want to go, but he caught me off guard as I was fumbling with the luggage (where did he think we were off to?)

Feel free to make fun of the Yankees whenever you want now:

When the new Yankee Stadium opens April 3, the choice of food will be a bit more varied than before. There will be chains like Johnny Rockets and Brother Jimmy’s BBQ, and sandwiches from the premium butcher Lobel’s.

But those who settle into the 4,000 or so well-upholstered seats of the various club and suite areas, which can cost as much as $2,500, will have access to much more.

A number of restaurants and dining areas will be for their exclusive enjoyment. And the food will be prepared at open cooking stations run, from time to time, by Masaharu Morimoto of “Iron Chef” fame, April Bloomfield of the Spotted Pig, chefs from Le Cirque and cooks from Elaine’s (because Elaine Kaufman is a big Yankees fan).

Some of the chefs will be at the stadium for one evening and others may make multiple appearances. . . .

Those seated in the Delta 360 Club, which has 1,200 seats, will have access to a dining room where chefs from the Food Network will occasionally cook at two open kitchens.

The only thing better would be if the Bleacher Creatures started chanting “Mor-ee-Mo-to” until chef tipped his toque. Which I’m sure they will do. Remember, these are people that still do the Cabbage Patch along with Cotton Eye Joey.

Location Scout: New Yankee Stadium.

Maybe all those cameras everywhere are good for something after all:

Surveillance cameras have captured the faces of criminal suspects in banks, in elevators and on street corners. But they have also surfaced in an unexpected law enforcement role: as evidence against police officers accused of misconduct or of lying on the witness stand.

The question is whether the arrow shooter is still on the loose:

Cops were searching Tuesday night for the archer who shot an arrow that nearly hit a Queens father as he carried out the trash.

Here’s something “shovel ready” that isn’t a gigantic waste of money. Let it die already.

I guess Popeye meant that he is something along the lines of the healthy spinach he mainlined but fuck if I understand what it means when the mayor says he is what he is. I suppose that’s considered “tough” or something?

Ew. Ew. Ew:

“He was one of my more consistent bargainers,” said Kristin Davis, who ran a high-priced prostitution ring in Manhattan.

Davis, 32, who wrote a book about her years running the $5 million business, said Spitzer was a regular customer when he was governor and attorney general, and would pay $800 to $1,200 an hour for dates — the lower end of the scale, which went up to $2,500.

Davis also detailed what she called Spitzer’s aversion to condoms, saying it got him banned in 2006.

In an excerpt from her book, published in the April issue of Penthouse magazine, Davis said Spitzer, who called himself James, was “too aggressive” in trying to avoid using protection, prompting complaints.

“He’d be a real weasel about it, too,” Davis wrote. “After the begging, pleading and commanding didn’t work, James would pretend to relent, only to change to another approach.”

When she confronted him, Davis recalled Monday, he lost his temper.

“He started yelling at me and I said, ‘That’s the kind of aggression I’m talking about,’” she said.

Still, were it not for the Emperors Club we wouldn’t have the best Slate columnist ever; he’s a much better as a commentator than he was as a governor. Thank you, Alexandra Dupre!

He’s like Howard Beale without the pipes, a nasally Howard Beale . . . unbecoming of a gazillionaire:

Subway and bus riders need to get “mad as hell” at state lawmakers stalling a plan that would prevent crippling fare hikes and debilitating service cuts, Mayor Bloomberg said today.

“When you see what’s going to happen to your commuting costs you should call your state legislators and say, ‘I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more,’” Bloomberg suggested.

Though I’m always upset when I see anthropomorphized food demanding that they be drenched in condiments and eaten, this is hometown talent we’re talking about:

A talented artist at P.S. 20 The Bowne School in Flushing has made it past roughly 45,000 budding Rembrandts to be one of only 36 finalists in a national design contest for food giant H.J. Heinz Company, featuring cash and other prizes for the winners and their schools.

The company had a saucy idea — the “Heinz Ketchup Creativity Contest” for school kids from first grade to high school seniors to design new artwork for single-serving packets of Heinz Ketchup.

Of the multitude of entries just from New York, Melissa Rueda, a student at the school located at 142-30 Barclay Avenue in Flushing, is one of three fifth-grade finalists.

Her proposed product art shows a smiling bottle of the name-brand ketchup, being held aloft by a crowd of happy french fries.

Mets fans* no longer can poke fun at San Francisco for its sushi, Arizona for its crudite platter or Seattle for its grilled salmon (on an organic roll) now that Citi Field is serving pulled-pork sandwiches on brioche buns:

As 6,000 construction workers have been feverishly toiling in advance of the April 13 opening, the restaurateur Danny Meyer has been refining the batting order for the ballpark’s signature food offerings.

Mr. Meyer’s Union Square Hospitality Group runs six fine-dining restaurants, a jazz club and two hamburger stands, but has never gone outside Manhattan. Now, in Flushing, Queens, his nonunion company will partner with the corporate behemoth Aramark, whose concession workers are represented by Local 153 in Manhattan.

“I’ve been thinking about this my whole life, and I know what I want at a ballpark,” Mr. Meyer said.

Some of the things he wants are pulled-pork sandwiches on brioche buns ($9), steamed corn on the cob with mayonnaise, cotija and a dusting of cayenne ($3.50), “dog bites” (Kosher hot dogs coated in matzo meal with brown mustard for $11), spare ribs seasoned with Kansas City rub ($10) and shrimp rolls — using a Martin’s potato roll — with shoestring potatoes ($14).

. . .

And for the ticket holders with lower budgets, Mr. Meyer will operate a terrace-cum-food court in left-center field called Taste of the City. There will be menu items from his existing franchises like Shake Shack and Blue Smoke, in addition to offerings from two new concepts: El Verano Taqueria (fresh tacos) and Box Frites (fresh-cut Belgian fries with dipping sauces).

(And don’t forget “Asian noodles” at New Yankee Stadium.)

*Excepting Peter Meehan, who waxed rhapsodic about the Laurent-Perrier Champagne at AT&T Park last summer.

Location Scout: Citi Field.

The City’s War On Rats (CWOR, for short) somehow lacks data about how many rats have actually been killed (in The Wire, this was known as drugs on the table, or as Lieutenant Daniels said, “Dope on the damn table”):

The city’s war on rats is missing a key element — a body count.

So three weeks ago, officials introduced a new weapon in the fight against the rodents in subway stations — baited traps.

Before, packets of bait were placed around the tracks, but that didn’t tell the city how many rats were being killed, said Health Department rat expert Bobby Corrigan.

The boxes will trap the rats that go for the bait, allowing the city to track how many get poisoned.

That’s it. Just “scoreboard.” We don’t even want to buy something in this stupid city; we just want you to admit that you were wrong all along:

For years, Halstead Property’s Richard Grossman has run a boot camp, teaching agents how to get buyers approved by co-op boards. In it, he presents four hypothetical applicant profiles. The first is a professional — a teacher, perhaps — with an average income but an outsize down payment. The second is a bonus-dependent candidate like a banker, who makes $80,000 and is putting down the minimum, but has a bonus three times his salary. The third, a non–Wall Streeter, earns somewhere in the low six figures and has a small bonus and a standard down payment, and the fourth, a first-time buyer with a good job, relies on relatives to cobble together a decent down payment.

In the past, says Grossman, agents invariably picked the financier as the most board-worthy, thanks to his bonus. At last month’s seminar, however, the answers were unanimous: “Go with the teacher.” And that is a big change. “If you were bidding against someone from Wall Street who had this kind of bonus history, you couldn’t compete. First of all, they were willing to outbid you, and second of all, the sellers were willing to take them over somebody else,” says Gumley Haft Kleier president Michele Kleier. “Bonus used to be the favorite word in everybody’s vocabulary. Now salary is a much more attractive word.” Admits one Upper West Side board member: “We’re definitely cautious across the board now, especially when someone’s touting their bonus.”

One more tantalizing Alex Rodriguez detail to take with you into Spring Training:

The Manhattan madam linked to former Gov. Eliot Spitzer claims she had a “connection” and “flirtation” with scandal-scarred Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez.

Kristin Davis, who says she met the third-baseman at a Philadelphia gym in 2005, told the Post that: “our paths have crossed both personally and professionally,” and that “there was a flirtation there.”

. . .

When asked if the Yankee patronized her escort agency, Davis, who said she likes Latin men, would only say that they had a “professional” relationship.

In case you don’t trust the avenging power of a higher authority, you can simply take matters into your own hands:

A riot erupted at a Brooklyn restaurant last week when Orthodox Jewish patrons discovered the “kosher” hot dogs on the menu were chicken franks that didn’t answer to a higher authority.

What ensued was as unholy as the hot dogs. The eatery’s frightened manager was punched in the face and fended off the angry mob with an electric carving knife until cops finally broke up the frankfurter fracas.

“They were yelling at the guy behind the counter,” one witness told The Post. “They started spitting and throwing things at him. They were shaking the counter and trying to jump over to search the fridge.”

. . .

The Torah tussle began when a longtime patron noticed the unusually plump wiener he bought Monday night at Cheskel’s Shawarma King in Borough Park didn’t fit into a challah roll as usual.

Suspicious, he asked for proof of where the hot dogs were bought. The server brought him the package, which confirmed the Bar S brand jumbo chicken frank was not certified kosher.

Then again, most of Manhattan may shutter before that happens:

Congress’ planned 90 percent tax on bonuses paid by bailed-out companies will snatch $12 billion at the very least from employees of firms that are based in New York City or have big operations here, experts said.

And that would have a dire effect on the city’s economy, impacting everyone from top luxury retailers to taxi drivers to tax collectors.

The crushing tax passed in the House yesterday would affect workers who make over a quarter-million dollars a year at companies that took more than $5 billion in rescue funds from the taxpayers.

Several executive-compensation experts said that under those standards, at least half of all of the windfalls granted by bailed-out firms would be affected.

“And that’s a conservative estimate,” said Chuck Collins, a compensation expert at the Institute for Policy Studies.

For example, he said, at least 50 percent of the $2.6 billion that Goldman Sachs gave its employees in bonuses would likely be hit with the tax.