That whole “as-is” disclaimer is an important part of the fine print:

Jovan Ming, 32, of the 300 block of Clove Road, shattered the front and rear windshields of a silver Acura in the lot of Forest Avenue Motors, at 2141 Forest Ave., on Sept. 11, a law-enforcement source said.

Not content with that, the 6-foot, 2-inch, 200-pound Ming allegedly telephoned the salesman “multiple times” four days later and threatened to kill him and torch his business.

Lest you think stealing copper from buildings is strictly for tramps, vagabonds and drifters:

They came to clear overgrown brush from the yard in what they might have thought was an abandoned building in Tompkinsville.

But the building’s owner says workers from the city Department of Health and Mental Hygiene were filching copper pipes, tools and whatever else they could grab from the former American Legion post at 43 Van Duzer St.

One Health Department worker, Edwin R. Torres, 54, of Queens, was arrested this morning, according to a law enforcement source, after building owner John Galarza called police when he said an employee saw the men begin hauling their alleged booty into a private van as well as a city Department of Health vehicle.

Three other Health Department workers were questioned as well.

“All the copper pipes are gone,” said Galarza as he walked through the building, which smelled of urine, where the toilet and boiler had pipes removed. He pushed his toe against a buckled wood floor, showing how it had sustained water damage after the pipes were removed. “I’m going to talk to the legal department of the Health Department.”

If you overindulge on tall boys, be warned that the Staten Island Ferry may now be legislating good behavior:

To make at least one leg of a long journey a little more serene for commuters, State Sen. Diane Savino has been pushing for the creation of a “Quiet Deck” aboard the Staten Island Ferry, where riders can be free from loud cell phone conversations, chatter, and, of course, the ferryboat preachers who have long rankled a captive audience.

After reviewing legal issues surrounding free speech and how it applies on public transportation, the city’s Department of Transportation, which runs the ferries, has agreed to adopt the Quiet Deck, with signage posted on the Bridge Deck of the three newest Molinari-class ferryboats.

Based on similar quiet areas aboard Long Island Railroad and Amtrak trains, Sen. Savino suggested the idea for a “place for people who just want to sit and decompress” before or after a long day at work.

Location Scout: Staten Island Ferry.

Pensioners steal the Salvation Army’s red kettle from a Staten Island cafe:

Workers at the Corporate Grind Cafe in Bloomfield kept the Salvation Army’s red kettle campaign going long after the holidays, with staff agreeing to direct any tips from customers into the familiar collection bucket on the counter.

Every few weeks, just as the kettle fills to capacity, store owner Darren Smith delivers its contents to the Christian charity he’s had a relationship with for several years. Smith’s father, Realtor J. Delbert Smith, is on the board of directors for the Staten Island chapter of the Salvation Army.

The bucket was almost full Tuesday when a couple — a man and woman who look more like grandparents than thieves — ordered a salad and a sandwich wrap and ate before walking out the door with the bucket and an estimated $200 in donations.

Two years after offending an entire borough, the makers of locally themed ice creams pack up their operation. The Advance gloats:

Two years after igniting a controversy by naming one of its flavors “Staten Island Landfill,” the 5 Boroughs Ice Cream company has hit a rocky road — it’s out of money and out of business.

In a note posted on the ice cream maker’s Web site, owner Scott Myles said he and his co-founder wife, Kim, are relocating to Los Angeles, where she hosts the show “Myles of Style” on the HGTV network.

Myles’ note made no reference to the tempest he created when he introduced “Staten Island Landfill” to the market in 2007. No one doubted that the flavor was scrumptious — vanilla ice cream packed with brownies, fudge and cherries — but political leaders felt the name was in poor taste.

A man who may or may not have mob ties is gunned down seemingly while waiting for a bus:

A man was gunned down on a Staten Island street early today as he stood near a bus stop, authorities said.

. . .

A police source said they are looking into whether the murder is mob-related.

And proving once again that it’s always good to keep some holy water handy:

For the past two days, visitors to a park in Staten Island’s Fort Wadsworth section have stumbled upon a gory mystery — a mutilated animal, possibly a dog or a goat, wrapped in a white sheet.

Parkgoers found two such animals in Von Briesen Park yesterday and this morning, city Parks Department officials confirmed.

The discovery has sparked speculation of ritual sacrifice and cult activity, and has led one Port Richmond woman to douse part of the ground where one animal was found with holy water, in an attempt to ward off what she believes is an evil presence.

Several alluded to Santeria, which blends elements of Yoruba, an African religion, with Catholicism and involves animal sacrifice in some of its rituals.

. . .

“This is not good, doing this,” said Nancy Kelcho of Port Richmond, who was walking her Scottie, Tara Lynn, this morning when a friend pointed out the mutilated animal. “This is evil. I just pray to God to take away the evil spirits.”

Ms. Kelcho, a firm believer in the supernatural, chanted prayers this afternoon as she sprayed holy water on the ground, and at one point gasped, “Evil! Evil! Evil!”

Though Ms. Kelcho said she was certain the animal she saw was a dog, Parks spokesman Phil Abramson said both animals are believed to be goats.

Location Scout: Arthur von Briesen Park.

But Critical Mass isn’t coming to Staten Island anytime soon:

When the DOT interposed them on Bay Street, critics cried that the meandering bike routes were, at best, a waste of money. The fact that it took only months for the pounding of traffic to just about wear away the paint in spots only compounded the skepticism.

Now the city is adding more routes, this time on North and South Railroad avenues, and the reaction is edging toward disbelief.

“Shared lanes” were installed on Bay Street last winter, to serve as a navigational aid to cyclists looking to connect to bike lanes on Capodanno Boulevard and Richmond Terrace. The chevrons and bike markings painted on the asphalt also are intended to keep cyclists a safe distance from car doors that open in the parking lane, and to remind motorists that must share the road with bike riders, who have an equal right to use the street.

. . .

City Councilman James Oddo (R-Mid-Island/Brooklyn) said he encourages cycling as a form of exercise and isn’t opposed to setting aside bike lanes and routes in theory.

“It’s not about bike lanes, per se,” he said. “It’s about misguided priorities.” He criticized the installation earlier this month of another bike route on Jefferson Avenue in Dongan Hills, which leads to the North and South Railroad facilities, because he believes the area’s narrow streets are too dangerous for cyclists. In addition, he continues to push for improved road conditions for cyclists and drivers alike.

“I’m not quite sure what the obsession is with bike lanes in this administration. I just wish they were obsessed with smooth streets,” Oddo said.

On track for another record-setting year:

“Agents are acting in order to maximize revenue to fill the city coffers, rather than doing their job correctly, which is to ensure turnover to help small businesses,” the letter read. “We, along with the business owners, want traffic agents to perform their job of enforcing the traffic laws to ensure turnover so that parking spots are made available. Unfortunately, the only way to describe the situation on New Dorp Lane — where tickets are handed out within seconds of a meter expiring — is harassment, pure and simple, the letter read.

It’s not just Staten Island — everyone seems to dislike the “Triboro” label:

For decades, stamps on letters mailed in New York City have generally been canceled with squiggly lines of ink and the name of the sender’s home borough. But this tradition may itself soon be canceled, at least in Brooklyn and Queens and on Staten Island.

Under the Postal Service’s plan, most mail from the three boroughs would be sent to a central processing center in East New York, Brooklyn, where it would be branded with a new emblem:

“TRIBORO, NY

BKLYN-QNS-STATEN ISL.”

The plan was spawned because of a 29 percent decline in the volume of first-class mail over the past decade. Officials say the change would save $6.7 million annually.

This is where a bureaucratic transaction gets personal.

“There are certain things you don’t mess with,” said Audrey Hecht-Stewart, 54, a teacher from Brighton Beach, Brooklyn, who was standing in line last week at the Cadman Plaza Post Office in Downtown Brooklyn. “The postmark on your letter should represent where you live, like caller ID on your phone.

“You can’t throw Brooklyn in the same pot with Queens and Staten Island,” Ms. Hecht-Stewart added. “When you go and lump us in with those other two boroughs, you take away our individuality.”

A host of elected officials, from the relevant borough presidents to New York’s two United States senators, has decried the proposal, along with postal union officials who translate a consolidated postmark into lost jobs. And dismay is rippling across this proposed new land called “Triboro,” where many who know about the plan resent the prospect of being stripped of their envelope identifier.

*Think about it — it could look cool on a T-shirt!

. . . the street:

In the debate over who is the purveyor of the tastiest pie, tempers often get hot enough to singe the palate.

On either side of Garretson Avenue in Dongan Hills, two giant banners claim to have a definitive answer to this highly subjective question.

“World’s Best Pizza” boast the signs draped in front of Goodfellas Old World Brick Oven Pizza Restaurant and Il Pomodoro, located about 100 feet from each other on Hylan Boulevard.

Both state they won the honor in the “non-traditional” category of the 2009 International Pizza Expo in Las Vegas.

“We can authenticate Goodfellas; they won the contest,” said Linda Keith, who organizes the expo — perhaps clearing up the confusion for the hundreds who drive by the proclamations every day.

The March expo drew more than 6,000 pizza-business people from across the globe, and top culinary judges selected winners from 120 contestants in the “traditional” and “non-traditional” pizza competitions.

“Il Pomodoro is very passionate, I know that. But, no, they did not win,” said Ms. Keith.

They did, in fact, earn a slot as a finalist in the Eastern Division, a division won by the team from Goodfellas, who went on to sweep the contest and win $10,000 in prize money for its seafood-laden creation, “crustacean sensation.”

On closer inspection, Il Pomodoro’s banner does contain the disclaimer. The word “finalist” is written in looping, diagonal script over “2009″ but hardly visible without searching for it.

He’s back:

Alerted by the incessant growling of their pint-sized “hero” pooch, the Emerson Hill couple said they came face to face with a black-suited burglar Monday night, who escaped from their mansion by leaping from a second-story balcony and exiting the back door without missing a beat.

“He was a ninja in a black suit, only his eyes were showing,” said Russ Irarey, 55. “He got to that railing and just made a jump like you wouldn’t believe.”

Earlier: Speaking As Someone Who Makes The Most Of His Balaclava . . ., Great Pizza . . . And Now Throwing Stars, Too

Because who knows what they might do if worse comes to worst:

Staten Islanders will have to swallow a $13 cash toll on the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge, while drivers in the rest of the city will keep their free ride on the East and Harlem River crossings, if legislative inertia continues to propel the MTA to enact its “Doomsday” budget.

The MTA board approved a 25 to 30 percent fare and toll hike this week, with the Verrazano and other MTA bridges set to go up in July, unless the state Legislature can devise alternate revenue streams to plug a $1.2 billion budget gap. Talks involving a bailout that would entail a payroll tax and tolling the currently free bridges have stalled in the state Senate.

. . .

Meanwhile, toll booths at all four Staten Island bridges already collect more than 6 percent of the nation’s tolls, according to Dr. Jonathan Peters, a finance professor and transportation expert at the College of Staten Island, who has done extensive research on the subject. Toll collection from passenger cars alone coming from only Staten Island ZIP codes accounts for about $65 million in revenue per year at the Verrazano, Peters said.

And without movement from Albany to balance that inequity, Islanders will continue to bear a growing toll burden, despite extremely limited transit options to travel off the Island without a car.

(Then again, Shelly says not to worry . . .)

And soon there will be nothing left:

The way Vincent Sapone sees it, the Staten Island postmark is bit like the “Made in the U.S.A.” label.

“It’s a point of pride,” said Sapone, a 28-year employee of the U.S. Postal Service.

So when Sapone — chief steward for mail handlers at the Manor Road Post Office in Castleton Corners — heard talk that bigwigs are weighing whether to shut down the facility’s outgoing mail processing service as a cost-cutting measure, the first thing he thought of was the postmark.

And the fact that it might not be around much longer. That’s because the Postal Service is in the midst of a five-month study to see whether consolidating the processing of outgoing Staten Island mail with that of Brooklyn and Queens would make sense from an economic standpoint.

Which would mean mailing a letter on Staten Island, having it taken by mail truck over the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge to have it processed and postmarked, and then having Staten Island-addressed mail brought back over the bridge to be distributed here.

“No offense,” said Sapone, who resides in Westerleigh, “but we don’t live in Queens or Brooklyn, and that’s what the postmark would say.”

But it’s not so much that the executive of the nonprofit gets such a generous car allowance as it is the culture in which being driven around in a fancy car somehow encourages people to donate more money:

Three weeks after the Staten Island Zoo reported it had cut overtime for staffers, a move that could affect the quality of care for animals, and planned to hike admission prices by $1 to mitigate budget cuts, executive director John Caltabiano leased a brand new 2009 Lincoln MXZ sedan, paid for by the Staten Island Zoological Society.

A 39-month lease on such a car goes for about $359 a month with $3,000 down.

“This is not a frivolous expenditure,” Caltabiano said during an interview in his West Brighton office, explaining that his choice of the Lincoln actually reflects a cost savings to the society; his first choice, a Cadillac CTS, would have cost $175 more a month.

The cost of the car lease is covered as part of Caltabiano’s fixed annual expense account, which he is contractually entitled to along with his salary, which was $100,397 in 2007. The society also pays to insure the car, and covers gas and tolls.

Zoo board president William Frew said the expense money is Caltabiano’s to spend as he sees fit.

“That’s in his discretion,” Frew said. “If he chooses to lease a car, it’s up to him. That means he has less money to spend on other things.”

Frew pointed out that Caltabiano’s job, like most executives, entails being on call around the clock, and requires entertaining wealthy potential donors and driving them to and from meetings and events, which is why a luxury car would be an asset in that line of work.

“More than one third of my time is used for fund-raising,” Caltabiano said. “The vehicle is one means by which I do that.”

Maybe a recession wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen to us . . .

And “Monopole” is not the B-side of some obscure grunge 7″ circa 1989:

It looks like a grand patriotic gesture on the part of one of Staten Island’s best-known Realtors: Flying a huge American flag, albeit atop a bulky-looking 90-foot pole, behind the Neuhaus Realty office in Richmond.

But it’s not your typical flagpole: It houses sensitive and essential communications technology recently put in place by the federal government in direct response to 9/11.

The “monopole” was erected under the auspices of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security by private aerospace and defense technology contractor Northrup Grumman with the OK of the city’s Department of Information Technology and Telecommunications (DOITT), confirmed the city and Northrup Grumman.

Its underlying purpose: To enhance the city’s wireless communication network and aid first-responders in case of an emergency, as part of a $500 million five-year effort by city government.

What’s more, the fake flagpole in Richmond is one of four monopoles that have been constructed in the borough — with more on the way.

Because of security considerations, the city won’t divulge where the others are.

A similar-looking one, on Capodanno Boulevard in Midland Beach, erected in 2005, “isn’t ours,” a source in city government said. At the time, the Advance reported it was a cell phone tower.

He’s biting what we’re thinking . . . free Staten Island Chuck:

Is there redemption after public disgrace? Say you didn’t pay your taxes. Or you were too tight with the lobbyists. Or maybe you bit the mayor.

Redemption? Not for Charles G. Hogg, a k a Chuck, the mayor-biting groundhog at the Staten Island Zoo.

First — on Groundhog Day, no less — Chuck botched the biggest photo opportunity of his not-quite-3-year-old life. He chomped on Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg’s index finger.

That raised a question for follow-up: Would Tuesday’s Chuck be any kinder or gentler?

So the zookeepers trotted him out for another photo op. Only one camera and two reporters showed up this time.

That word “trotted” is a problem. It suggests politeness. It suggests civility. It suggests everything that Chuck was not as he went rampaging across the stage in the zoo’s auditorium, knocking over a prop-size statue of a giraffe.

Then one of the photographers put a photograph of Mr. Bloomberg where Chuck could not miss it. Chuck rubbed his lips on the corner of the picture frame. He was not making nice — it looked as if he had bared his teeth. But the mayor should not take this personally. Chuck did the same to everything he rubbed up against before he jumped off the stage and waddled around the auditorium for a victory lap, Chuck style.

. . .

By Tuesday [. . .] John J. Caltabiano, the executive director of the zoo, had the one-liners ready. One, inevitably, was about biting the hand that feeds you. The city provides as much as half of the zoo’s budget, Mr. Caltabiano said, and the city is cutting its share by 17 percent in the coming fiscal year.

Mr. Caltabiano is well aware that the mayor has survived past Groundhog Days without injury. In his office is a framed photograph of the mayor holding a groundhog in February 2006.

But the groundhog in the picture was Chuck’s father. Eight groundhogs have played the role of Chuck in the last 27 years. Monday was the first time that Mr. Bloomberg had handled the current Chuck, who is apparently feistier than his father was.

It might have been the last time, too. Mr. Caltabiano said that he was working on breeding Chuck VIII and would retire him if there was a Chuck IX by next Groundhog Day.

Moral: no third term, no pandering (er, “campaigning”); no campaigning, no getting your hand bitten off by a rodent:

If Mayor Bloomberg’s pride was wounded — along with his hand — in his encounter with Staten Island Chuck, hizzoner wasn’t letting on this afternoon.

Hours after the borough’s prognosticating groundhog snapped at Bloomberg’s hand during today’s Groundhog Day festivities at the Staten Island Zoo, West Brighton, the mayor laughed off the run-in.

Bloomberg joked at another event later that city residents should rest assured that their mayor is “willing to put himself and his physical well-being in harm’s way to protect them” against what might have been “a terrorist rodent.”

In other news: It will be an early spring.

Don’t show those griping cab drivers this heartwarming story:

There’s no such thing as a bad penny in Barbara Humphrey’s mind.

The Staten Island mom is obsessed with collecting change she finds on the street and blogging about it — and it’s paying off.

With the help of her husband, an Army sergeant, and their two daughters, Humphrey has saved more than $1,000 in three years.

“We find it everywhere,” said Humphrey, who started keeping track of her small-change scores three years ago while waiting for a college class to start.

“I saw a nickel and two pennies on the ground,” she said.

“I thought, ‘Let me start a little blog about finding change.’ So that first day I found seven cents. The next day I found a dime. Then my husband started finding quarters here and there.”

Residents of Rosebank in Staten Island insist that the neighborhood is no longer racist:

When Moe Wilson was growing up in Stapleton in the early 1980s, he and his friends wouldn’t venture far into Rosebank, or, as some of the locals called it, “No n — – – Land.”

A tree carving, the “n word” with a line through it, served as a warning in the scrub around the train tracks, not far from what is now the Waldbaums on Tompkins and Lynhurst avenues.

“You couldn’t go past so you didn’t take a chance,” Wilson said, notwithstanding his adolescent sorties past the neighborhood boundary. He was beaten up and hit with sticks, he remembered. “You had white families living in Stapleton, but there were no blacks living over there.”

He added, “It made me feel bad, of course, but that was how it was.”

Times have changed since then, but the Election night hate spree allegedly carried out by a group of young men who nicknamed themselves the “Rosebank Krew” has brought back the specter of the bad old days.

. . .

Rosebank residents approached yesterday were similarly keen to disown the teens, many of them emphatically pointing out that only one technically lives within the confines of the neighborhood.

Although federal authorities allege they kept a “makeshift outdoor clubhouse” in Rosebank, only one of the four, 18-year-old Bryan Garaventa, hails from the neighborhood, on Maryland Avenue. He already has pleaded guilty to federal charges, and is awaiting sentencing.

Two others, Ralph Nicoletti and Michael Contreras, both 18, live in Fort Wadsworth — Nicoletti on Wadsworth Avenue and Contreras on Judith Court. And the fourth, 21-year-old Brian Carranza, lives on Simonson Place in Port Richmond.

“They’re from Fort Wadsworth. They’re not even from Rosebank, and there’s the Spanish kid from Port Richmond,” said one lifelong Rosebank resident, somewhat inaccurately, as he stood in what he called the “heart of Rosebank” at the corner of Tompkins and Virginia avenues, near the Rosebank Boys Social Club and across the street from the Rosebank Deli.

“But everybody wants to look down on Rosebank,” he said.

The fortysomething man, wearing a thick, gold cross on a chain around his neck and jangling a key chain decorated with a plastic Italian flag, would not give his name because “people from the neighborhood, they don’t do that, there’s a code.”

Even so, he was eager to speak his mind: “Rosebank has changed. You can walk up and down the block and everywhere you will see blacks, Hispanics, Asians, Indians,” he said gesturing at the apartment above the social club and saying an African-American family lives there. “It used to be, out of respect, nobody came into our neighborhood and we didn’t go into their neighborhood. Now my son goes to a Catholic school in Stapleton, and you know who comes to my home to play? Black kids. You’ve got to go with the times. They change. I think Obama is good for the country.”

Forgive me if I’m a little skeptical, but the last time I was offered a free brain scan in the mall parking lot, it turned out rather badly:

Free brain screenings will be available in the Staten Island Mall parking lot, New Springville, on weekdays beginning Monday, through Jan. 26.

The screenings, provided by The Road to Early Detection, a project of the Brain Tumor Foundation, will be conducted in the “Bobby Murcer Mobile MRI Unit” — named in honor of the late former New York Yankee, who died last year of brain cancer — on the Richmond Avenue side of the parking lot.

That is, had Baltz lived on beyond a miraculous 26 hours after initially surviving the 1960 United Airlines-TWA plane crash over Staten Island and Brooklyn:

On Dec. 16, 1960, 11-year-old Stephen Lambert Baltz became the sole survivor of the horrific midair crash of a United Airlines jet and a TWA plane over Staten Island near Miller Army Field.

Millions of today’s baby boomers and their parents prayed and hoped against hope that the boy from Wilmette, Ill., would survive.

But despite the best efforts of 10 doctors, he succumbed to his injuries after 26 hours.

Had he lived, Stephen Baltz would be celebrating his 60th birthday today, Jan. 9, 2009.

. . .

Surviving the crash was Stephen’s 65 cents found in his clothing or wallet; his father put the coins in a charity box at the hospital. The fire-tinged collection of four dimes and five nickels remains in a memorial plaque displayed to this day at Methodist Hospital.

A $1,000 anonymous donation from an elderly lady and $38 from a chaplain on duty at the hospital on Dec. 17 were combined with other donations to begin funding a pediatrics section at Methodist to honor Stephen’s memory.

The article catches up with some of the remaining family — his sister and brother — as well as one of the nurses on duty. (Advance, use permalinks! This is an interesting story!)

Or at least involuntary isolation:

When the cash toll at the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge rose from $9 to $10 last March, many Staten Island drivers thought they had seen it all.

But the sticker shock of the sawbuck pales in comparison to a toll hike as high as — get this — $14.

That’s how much the round-trip toll could conceivably cost as part of the MTA’s proposed package of fare and toll hikes.

The authority outlined a variety of options yesterday meant to achieve a projected revenue increase of up to 23 percent, to plug a $1.2 billion budget gap.

Nothing is set in stone; rather, the proposed changes, including a $6.25 express bus fare, a $2.50 or $3 local bus or subway fare and severe service cuts, reflect the outside threshold of pain.

Of the $14 toll threat, MTA spokesman Jeremy Soffin said, “Is it a possibility? It’s there, but it’s in the upper range. I don’t know where we’ll be in the end.”

Alleged Sanitation truck sends wave of slush crashing into storefront, destroying front window:

First they heard a ferocious rumble coming down Jewett Avenue; then came the crash of glass and a spray of ice.

The force of a splash from what witnesses believe was an orange Sanitation truck barreling downhill toward Forest Avenue yesterday just before 10 a.m. destroyed the front of the tiny Port Richmond exercise studio.

Tragedy was only averted because the oversized cardboard sign in the window of Get in Gear at 513 Jewett Ave. blocked the half dozen people inside from the flying debris, and the lucky fact that nobody was outside when the giant wall of slush rose onto the sidewalk and slammed into storefronts, neighbors said.

“Glass came in; two of the women screamed,” said owner John Pepe, motioning to show how close he had been standing the window when it shattered.

By the time he ran outside to try and figure out what had happened, Pepe said the truck was already more than a block away: “He was going so fast, he probably did not even know what happened.”

In a move that could push Philadelphia and Jersey City up one spot to contend for “fifth borough” bragging rights, a new secession movement is apparently brewing on Staten Island:

In a move that is certain to reignite old passions among Staten Islanders, State Senator Andrew J. Lanza is planning to introduce legislation to call again for his borough to secede from the rest of New York City.

Mr. Lanza, a Republican who represents about two-thirds of Staten Island, said in an interview on Wednesday that he was motivated to draft the bill because of residents of the island continued to feel unduly burdened by taxes and less-than-stellar city services. He said Staten Island residents have complained for years that they felt overlooked by the rest of the city, particularly on city services and mass transportation.

The 2,115-page bill, which Mr. Lanza said he would introduce in January, comes about 15 years after a spirited public debate on the issue and a referendum in which Staten Islanders voted by a 2-to-1 ratio in a referendum to split with the rest of the city.

It was on for 14 months — why give up now? Oh, right:

After growing his “protest beard” for 14 months, [Staten Island Judge Phil] Straniere, presiding judge of the Civil Court, had it shaved off yesterday at Liberty Barber Shop, West Brighton.

No, New York state judges have not suddenly gotten the cost-of-living pay raise they’ve been deprived of for the past decade — the reason Straniere decided to grow his beard in protest over a year ago.

Nor does it look like they will any time soon. While the state Senate has in the past OK’d a pay hike for members of the judiciary, the Assembly has always blocked it because the measure hasn’t included upping legislators’ salaries as well.

“And in this economic climate it doesn’t seem likely,” reasoned Straniere, as he sat in barber Tahir Taravari’s chair.

Besides, he said, “I was getting tired of my protest beard. It didn’t work.”

Add to that the fact that voters traditionally prefer clean-shaven candidates — although Straniere opted to keep his mustache, which he has had for 40 years — meaning they’re more electable.

“I think Benjamin Harrison was the last Republican elected with a beard,” quipped Straniere, who admitted he was also tiring of the jokes about cough drops — think the Smith Brothers — and Christmas — think Santa Claus.

On the one hand, sure, just 11 out of 190 of those arrested in Belmar this summer were from Staten Island. On the other hand, fully 11 out of 190 of those arrested in Belmar this summer were from Staten Island:

It turns out most of Belmar, N.J.’s unruly troublemakers don’t come from Staten Island after all.

After Belmar Mayor Ken Pringle famously sparked a furor this July by writing a screed about “SI girls behaving badly” and “guidos,” his own police department’s crime statistics ended up telling a very different story about Islanders’ behavior in the Jersey Shore town.

Just 11 of the 190 people arrested in Belmar between May 29 and Sept. 1 hailed from Staten Island, according to a published report.

One of those arrests — an incident where a Staten Island woman allegedly attacked another patron at a bar popular with the borough’s visitors — spurred Pringle to write about “Staten Island girls” in the “Belmar Summer Rental News.”

“As the Staten Island girl was pummeling the Boonton girl’s face, she used the hand she was still holding her drink glass in,” Pringle wrote in the newsletter. “Now, we’re not sure if the glass was stuck to her hand cause of all the hair spray or if this is a technique Staten Island girls learn in Brownies, but we are thankful she left her brass knuckles and straight razor in her other purse.”

The remarks sparked a firestorm of public opinion — Pringle soon apologized, then toured the borough’s cultural landmarks in an attempt to mend fences.

Pringle didn’t return a phone call yesterday seeking comment about the police stats.

Earlier.

You attract the wrong kind of guys:

Cops say a New Jersey man wooed a 30-year-old woman from New Dorp Beach online, but then, after she paid for lunch at the end of their date, stole her credit card.

Jared W. Winans, 28, of Old Tappan, is accused of using the card to make about $100 in purchases in New Jersey and Massachusetts.

The ill-fated date started on May 21, and ended at about 12:30 p.m. the next day at the Applebee’s restaurant in New Dorp, according to court papers.

She paid the check, though it’s unclear if the two ever went on a second date, a law enforcement source said.

A few days later, the woman noticed her credit card missing, and filed a report. The investigation led to Winans, who made several small purchases a day after the date, the source said.

The NYPD’s Internal Affairs Bureau got involved not long after, the source said, because Winans puffed up his dating résumé by falsely claiming to be a cop.

But seriously, is there anyone on Staten Island who doesn’t understand what calamari is? I’m shocked:

When Jeanmarie Ritger’s 10-year-old daughter swims with friends in the family’s backyard pool in Dongan Hills, the children are captured on a video camera posted on a neighbor’s roof.

There is nothing Ms. Ritger can do about the unwanted surveillance of her yard, her life and her daughter, say officials.

That’s because the camera is not trained on her bedroom or bathroom window — places where New York law says a person has a reasonable expectation of privacy and such surveillance would be illegal.

“I’m stuck and I’m very uncomfortable and I’m concerned,” Ms. Ritger, an elementary school teacher, said during a recent interview in her yard under the watchful eye of her neighbor’s camera. “When does surveilling someone’s property become an invasion of someone else’s privacy?”

Not when it’s in a homeowner’s back, side or front yard.

Ms. Ritger’s video-taping neighbors defended their rooftop camera, saying they are protecting their yard and in-ground pool, not spying. They accuse Ms. Ritger and her brother, who lives in the house next-door, of throwing worms, berries and calamari (squid) into their pool over the last few years. Ms. Ritger has flatly denied those claims, calling them “ridiculous.”

“It’s watching my yard and her yard,” the neighbor, Peter Malvagna, said of his camera. “It’s legal and I can’t get in trouble for it.”

. . .

William Smith, a spokesman for the Richmond County District Attorney Daniel Donovan, said the Staten Island office was the first to win a felony conviction in the state under Stephanie’s Law. A retired firefighter was convicted here in 2004 of secretly recording his girlfriend’s teen-age daughter undressing in his home.

Before the enactment in 2003 of Stephanie’s Law, which was created after a Long Island woman was secretly recorded by her landlord undressing in her apartment, there were even fewer protections from prying eyes.

“In plain language, New York State law defines unlawful surveillance as recording someone, without their permission, at a place and time when a person has a reasonable expectation of privacy, specifically a place where a person believes he or she could disrobe in privacy. This law has not been interpreted to cover the outside of a residence, especially in an urban or suburban environment like Staten Island,” said Smith.

The fish in the $750,000 tanks at the St. George Ferry Terminal are barely surviving in the stressful environment:

They’re the bright spot in the St. George Ferry Terminal, luring tourists and commuters alike to stop and admire their colorful beauty.

But brightness around the clock is exactly what’s killing off the fish in the two saltwater tanks in the terminal waiting room, as disturbed sleeping cycles stress the fish and make them more susceptible to disease.

“It’s like they’re driving with their brights on all day long,” said Wayde King, president of Acrylic Tank Manufacturing Inc., the Las Vegas-based company that installed the tanks.

Whether they were eaten by other fish or scooped out dead — or alive, removed from the tank and relocated after exhibiting aggression toward other fish — the population has dwindled to about 60 or 70 fish per tank, down from about 200 in each during the unveiling in February. The $750,000 tanks were funded through Borough President James Molinaro’s capital budget.

Curious kids and adults who bang on the tank walls also have disturbed the fish, who are unable to rest while being on display 24 hours a day in the busy transportation hub.

Furthermore, the constant light has caused a formidable algae bloom, leaving a brown film on the glass and the colorful coral inside.

. . .

Meanwhile, nearly a dozen members of SIcoLab’s Federation For Ferry Fish Freedom, a group of artists and musicians, banded together to fight for the rights of the fish with a “Fish-In” yesterday morning in the waiting room.

. . .

New railings are being considered to keep guests at a distance. And curtains are being designed to give the animals a restorative night cycle. “It darkens them up and lets them know it’s bedtime,” King said, adding the fish will be healthier if allowed a few hours of quiet.

And to tackle the algae, quarter-sized Turbo Snails will be introduced into the tank. “They’re like constant little scrubbers,” cleaning all the nooks and crannies of the tank and the coral reef inside, said Bob Kurtz, acting curator at the Staten Island Zoo, which will take over the maintenance of the tanks as planned in January.

Location Scout: St. George Ferry Terminal.