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Third Term Meltdown Watch: Overwrought Historical Comparisons

We’ll know it’s all over when the mayor starts invoking 1930s Germany, but calling a charter school bill an “insult” to MLK, Jr. on MLK, Jr. Day is getting there:

Mayor Bloomberg Monday called a charter school bill an “insult” to the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.’s legacy.

The bill, which was crafted by the state Legislature’s Democratic leadership, would allow the number of charter schools in the state to double to 400.

But the mayor slammed it for making the creation of new charters too cumbersome.

Posted: January 19th, 2010 | Filed under: You're Kidding, Right?

Little Ralphie Parker, Realizing That His Gun-Toting Ways Were Long Behind Him, Decides To Cash In

You can turn in your BB guns for cash in the Bronx:

Although not normally lethal, BB and air guns sometimes are used by criminals to scare victims into thinking the weapons are conventional, deadly handguns.

People who surrender such weapons Jan. 23 at several churches in The Bronx will be given a $50 gift or cash card for each BB gun turned in, up to a $150 cap.

The churches will also accept regular guns.

BB guns retail for between $40 and $60.

Posted: January 13th, 2010 | Filed under: You're Kidding, Right?

Now You Tell Us?

31 years later the thing is there, and folks are puzzling over exactly what to sue for, though that is a nice way to close a huge budget deficit:

[Lower Manhattan’s Verizon] building is actually one-third larger than allowed, a city agency claims — but no one noticed for 31 years.

The city’s Educational Construction Fund filed a suit alleging it sold Verizon construction rights for a 771,003-square-foot building in 1972.

. . .

The fund is suing Verizon and the developers for fraud, breach of contract and unjust enrichment, seeking $53 million plus interest and a court declaration that the proposed renovation would be illegal.

Posted: January 7th, 2010 | Filed under: Architecture & Infrastructure, Manhattan, You're Kidding, Right?

175 Square Feet, Adjustable Pantry/Armoire, Pets OK

First there was the 250-square-foot studio and baby nest. Then we had the 175-square-foot apartment, which was a bizarre enough story when it first appeared, but got even stranger now that it is occupied by two human beings and two cats:

Zaarath and Christopher Prokop — and their two cats — live in the smallest apartment in the city, a 175-square-foot “microstudio” in Morningside Heights the couple bought three months ago for $150,000.

At 14.9 feet long and 10 feet wide, it’s about as narrow as a subway car and as claustrophobic as a jail cell. But to the Prokops, it’s a castle.

. . .

The couple wakes up every morning in their queen-size bed, which takes up one-third of the living space.

They then walk five feet toward the tiny kitchen, where they pull out their workout clothes, which are folded neatly in two cabinets above the sink. A third cabinet holds several containers of espresso for their only kitchen appliance, a cappuccino maker.

They turn off their hotplate, and use the space on the counter as a feeding area for their cats, Esmeralda and Beauregard.

“We don’t cook,” Zaarath said, adding that their fridge never has any food in it. “So when you don’t cook, you don’t need plates or pots or pans. So we use that space for our clothes.”

Once in their running attire, the two change the cat litter box (stored under the sink) and start their small Rumba vacuum — which operates automatically while they’re out, picking up cat hair.

They then jog to their jobs in Midtown, picking up along the way their work clothes, which are “strategically stashed at various dry cleaners.”

Posted: December 8th, 2009 | Filed under: Cultural-Anthropological, Manhattan, Real Estate, You're Kidding, Right?

Don’t Know How You Do The Voodoo That You Do So Well It’s A Spell, Hell, Makes Me Wanna Stoop Stoop Stoop

Keep following the dyslexics down to the OTB, because it can really pay off:

For the past 10 years, Jesus Leonardo has been cleaning up at an OTB parlor in Midtown Manhattan, cashing in, by his own count, nearly half a million dollars’ worth of winning tickets from wagers on thoroughbred races across the country.

During his glorious run, Mr. Leonardo, 57, has not placed a single bet.

“It is literally found money,” he said on a recent night from his private winner’s circle. He spends more than 10 hours a day there, feeding thousands of discarded betting slips through a ticket scanner in a never-ending search for someone else’s lost treasure.

“This has become my job, my life,” he said. “This is how I feed my family.”

Leonardo, who favors track suits and wears his graying hair and bushy beard in long ponytails, is what’s known in horse racing parlance as a stooper — a person who hangs around racetracks and betting parlors picking up tickets thrown away by others. Most tickets are losers, but enough are winners to make it worth his while.

To his stable of OTB buddies, Mr. Leonardo is the Secretariat of stoopers.

. . .

Mr. Leonardo, who is married with two teenagers, is hardly living on the fringes. He said that stooping brings him $100 to $300 a day, and more than $45,000 a year. Last month, he cashed in a winning ticket from bets made on races at Santa Anita Park in Arcadia, Calif., for $8,040. His largest purse came in 2006, when he received $9,500 from a Pick 4 wager (choosing the winners of four consecutive races) at Retama Park Race Track in Selma, Tex.

. . .

“I couldn’t believe it,” said Mr. Leonardo, who had been supporting his family and his dream of writing songs by working odd jobs, including painting homes and cleaning windows. “I started thinking, there’s probably winning tickets thrown in the garbage every day.”

Posted: December 8th, 2009 | Filed under: Huzzah!, You're Kidding, Right?
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