The Hip-Hop Church

Kurtis Blow is rapping for Jesus:

A pioneering rap star is taking hip-hop from the projects to the pulpit.

Kurtis Blow is one of the founders of “The Hip-Hop Church” at two Harlem parishes, which features rousing services fueled by gospel-inspired rap tunes.

“The kids need to learn about God, but even the ones who already know God don’t like the church, because church is boring,” Blow told The Post.

“What we do isn’t boring — it’s energetic, it’s uplifting, it’s spiritual — and the kids can relate to it. We speak the word of God in a language they can understand — rap.”

. . .

Below the altar, Blow mans a DJ booth, rapping and scratching along to artists including 3 Shades of Faith Introducing Prophecy; The Hip-Hop Church Band; guest rappers and break dancers.

In between the beat-driven numbers, the Revs. Stephen Pogue and Darren Ferguson lead the congregation in prayer and deliver inspiring sermons. This February, Blow, 45, will begin studying at the New York School of Ministry to become a full-fledged man of the cloth.

You may be aware that MC Hammer is already an ordained minister; Blow notes the rap-religion symbiosis:

“The younger people really love it because it’s rap, but the adults also like it because there’s a lot of ‘old school’ which they grew up with. The fact is that hip-hop can save the church and the church can save hip-hop,” he said. [emphasis added]

The Blow services are held Fridays at the Abyssinian Baptist Church on West 138th Street and Greater Hood Memorial AME Zion Church on West 146th Street. Other services are offered at the Trinity Episcopal Church of Morrisania in the South Bronx.

“Bowling for Palestine”

“Bowling for Palestine” is how the Daily News and the Post (see also “PIN-HEAD ARAFAT’S TERROR ‘$TRIKE'”) are describing the revelation that Yasser Arafat had $1.3 million invested in the company that owns Greenwich Village’s Bowlmor Lanes:

The news, first reported in Bloomberg Markets Magazine, hit some Bowlmor patrons like a 15-pound ball taking down the headpin.

“If I had known, I wouldn’t have come, but I promised the kids,” said financier Steve Saslow, 55, with his 4-year-old and 8-year-old in tow.

It apparently also came as a surprise to Bowlmor’s owners, a company called Strike Holdings, which runs the bowling alley called Strike in New Hyde Park, L.I., as well as lanes in Maryland and Florida.

The firm said it was “shocked” to learn Arafat was behind the investment – and planned to return the money and sever any ties to the Palestinians.

“This information was never disclosed to us previously, and had we known the source of these funds, which represents approximately 2% of our company’s equity, we never would have accepted them,” spokeswoman Marcia Horowitz said.

“We do not endorse their values, and we do not want to be affiliated with them in any way.”

Bowlmor has been around since 1938, but it was sold in 1997 to entrepreneur Tom Shannon.

Shannon happened to attend business school with Arafat’s U.S. investment manager, Zeid Masri, who decided to park some Palestinian Authority cash in Bowlmor.

The $1.3 million, funneled through a company called Onyx Funds, was just a small piece of a $799 million fortune that Arafat invested in companies across the Middle East and the U.S.

Masri figured the stake would be a moneymaker, but it looks like a gutter ball for the Palestinian Authority, since Strike has not paid any dividends on the investment.

Nevertheless, with its disco atmosphere, $9 games and prime location, Bowlmor has become the top-grossing alley in the city – a popular spot for office parties and young singletons.

Its Web site also advertises it as a hot spot for bar mitzvahs, complete with a kosher caterer and a special room for candlelighting ceremonies.

Oh, the irony! Love that irony!

But of course there are also those who are able to disengage the personal from the political:

Sam Rubin, 30, an Israeli-born NYU student walking into Bowlmor yesterday, said the Arafat link would not stop him from tossing a couple of games.

“I’m glad Arafat’s dead, but I like to separate … politics and bowling,” he said.

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Adding insult to injury — or just a case of utter hubris — Bernard Kerik now announces he is resigning effective immediately from Rudy Giuliani’s consulting firm:

At a news conference in Manhattan, Kerik said he had apologized to Giuliani for being a distraction because of his messy withdrawal as a candidate to head the Department of Homeland Security.

. . .

The string damaging allegations dogging Kerik have inlcuded: two alleged extramarital affairs, allegations of sending inside information to friends with suspected mob ties about an impending city investigation into their business affairs, and unpaid immigration taxes on a nanny who was not a U.S. citizen.

Related note: Have you noticed lately how everyone is co-opting Lemony Snicket’s “A Series of Unfortunate Events”? Case in point: David Brooks.

“Battle of the Idiots”

“Battle of the Idiots” is the Daily News’ headline, not mine, referring to Curt Schilling calling out Pay-dro on the newest Met’s recent comments.

Actually, it seems like confirmation that the Mets have made a terrible, terrible mistake. The article features Pay-dro’s curious self-scheduling, thuggy macho talk (“Schilling cannot run with me”), accusations of geekery and Curt Schilling’s flexible definition of “preferential treatment” (as it related to Pay-dro) — worth reading in whole.

Then there’s the utterly unconvincing, Schilling-esque platitudes:

“Petey’s a good man with a big heart. I told him what an honor it was to watch him, that I learned a lot and hoped it would be three more years of the same.”

He’s positively Bush-like in his spin, this guy!

Bonus Points: Pay-dro’s Snubbed Little Friend (link not for the faint hearted).

Totally Unfunny

Message to any of our friends who may have ditched our holiday party Saturday to go to this dog’s “Bark Mitzvah”: You’re not our friend anymore.

I don’t know if it’s because it’s too cold today or because the Times actually wrote about it or whatever, but I find this completely, utterly unfunny. Like nausea-inducing You’re-Part-of-the-Problem unfunny:

In the long walk of history between man and dog, the bark mitzvah could be seen as an unexpected pit stop. Yet it was celebrated on Saturday night in the Bronx in a traditional way, with a party for family and friends of the 13-year-old that included a chopped-liver sculpture, choruses of “mazel tov!” (or, in this case, “muzzle tov!”), a cantor and gifts.

The proud father, wearing a dog-patterned tie, was Mark Nadler, 43, a New York cabaret singer. He had sent out invitations to dozens of friends “to share a special day in our lives when my dog, Admiral Rufus K. Boom, will celebrate his bark mitzvah in the tradition of our ancestors.”

Mr. Nadler, who had his bar mitzvah years ago, said he was not unfamiliar with entertaining at bar mitzvahs at “high holy places like the Hard Rock Cafe.” They sometimes seemed to be expensive productions that helped parents raise their social radar rather than sacred coming-of-age ceremonies for 13-year-olds. So Mr. Nadler thought he would give a bar mitzvah for his wheaten terrier and watch the eyebrows rise.