Sure I Went To The Trouble Of Picking Up Dog Feces And Smearing It On Its Owner — And I’d Do It Again If I Had To!

Alleged poop smearer and Barbie killer Joel Krupnik is unapologetic about his latest Post-piquing peccadillo:

The city’s Bad Santa has given cops the scoop on exactly why he smeared dog poop on the back of a 13-year-old schoolgirl walking her Chihuahua — he was teaching her, and every other inconsiderate pet owner, a lesson.

“Yeah, I did it!” Joel Krupnik, a 57-year-old Manhattan real-estate dealer, confessed, according to a police report unveiled at his arraignment yesterday. “I’m tired of these people not picking up after their dogs. I took the mess and I rubbed it in her back.”

Krupnik, who made headlines in December with his grotesque display of a bloody Santa, allegedly went ballistic Monday when he spotted 4-pound Bambi relieving himself in front of his $3 million brownstone at 318 E. 18th St.

The hulking 6-foot-2, 250-pound Krupnik picked up Bambi’s steaming calling card and trailed the unsuspecting teen to her nearby apartment building. Then he allegedly cursed at the horrified teenager and smeared the feces across her Catholic-school uniform jacket, which then got in her hair.

He showed up at court yesterday, complete with a rubber alien figure peeking out of his jacket pocket, and was released without bail after being hit with criminal mischief, menacing and harassment charges that could land him in the slammer for up to a year.

Manhattan Criminal Court Judge Tonya Kennedy also slapped Krupnik with an order of protection, strictly prohibiting him from approaching or phoning his alleged victim.

“No comment! No comment!” the scruffy defendant, dressed in a red flannel lumberjack shirt and heavy denim jacket, growled to The Post as he emerged from court after a night behind bars.

. . .

Courtroom observers noted Krupnik seemed remorseless for his bizarre feces fury.

“Thank God it was a Chihuahua that pooped and not a St. Bernard or German shepherd,” one laughed.