You Might Be Asking Yourself, “Where Do People Go Skiing In July?”

Who exactly are the “snowmen” looking for “ski bunnies” on Craig’s List? They’re your neighbor, for example:

This neighbor of mine, all he does is get high and get laid. He doesn’t work; he doesn’t go to school. He doesn’t go to the gym, to the supermarket, or even leave his house really, except maybe to go to a bar nearby. But for all that being in his house, he only sleeps maybe every three days, only when his body gives out from all the cocaine and cigarettes and sex.

An uncle died and left him a small pot of money. Nothing extravagant, but enough. Instead of investing it, saving it, or buying a three-bedroom in Harlem, he keeps a steady supply of liquor, weed and coke delivered to his apartment, where he sits around playing Xbox and picking up women on Craigslist.

If his postings sound familiar — “Snowman looking for a ski bunny,” for example — that’s part of the trick. “It’s scientific,” he says. “You want to be a newbie, keep it strictly platonic. I had to school myself.” That sets the women at ease, he says, and never gives them a reason to think twice. There is never, ever any mention of sex. They come over for some free coke and a half-sane, harmless good time with a well-mannered Jewish boy. “Once I get them here,” he says, sprawled out half-naked on his unmade bed, “then I mack them.”

. . .

The nice neighborhood in Manhattan is important, he says, to establish his bona fides. His place even has a mezuzah on the front door. But inside, bags of garbage and a week’s worth of unread newspapers pile up inside the door. Improvised ashtrays, empty Marlboro Red packs and empty cognac bottles cover every flat surface. Judging from his coffee table, his breakfast was delivery french fries.