And By “Car” She Means “First Cousin”

Goodness gracious, great balls of fire:

A feud between Gypsies turned violent in Soho on Tuesday night, when several men attacked a local fortuneteller and her husband.

According to Elaine Marino, the incident started when three Gypsies tried to break into her daughter-in-law Linda’s white Porsche, which was parked near her business, Linda’s Psychic Shop, at Spring and Sullivan Sts. Marino said that when her daughter came out of the shop, they assaulted her on the sidewalk. Marino’s son, Jesse, Linda’s husband, also was attacked by the men, his mother said. (Marino declined to provide the last names of her son and daughter-in-law.)

. . .

According to a witness at the bar, the attackers were enraged at Jesse for having sex with his “first cousin,” and, in fact, had beaten him up in Florida for this previously.

Marino claimed the men had been “stalking” her son and his wife. She, too, said the feud stemmed from earlier trouble with the men during an encounter in Florida.

“It’s some kind of jealousy, vendetta, from Florida,” she said. Asked what type of jealousy, she said, “Some jealousy over a car.

“We’re not part of the same clan. They’re from Canada,” she said of the assailants. Her son Jesse grew up in the neighborhood, and Linda owns another psychic shop nearby, she said. They are all Romani, Gypsies, she said.

Buried lede: The fortuneteller’s Porsche confirms once and for all that New Yorkers are wasting entirely too much money on psychics.